where do i start? in such a mess!

emilyk

hi there,

im sat here not able to sleep feeling sick in panic about what to do. Im up to my eyes in debt, about to become a single parent and wondering how the hell im gonna get through this financially!

Long story - but over the years ive used credit cards and took out a loan to clear them at one point, then needed to use them again - always thinking we had no money so i borrowed to pay for the extra things we needed. My husband didnt know i was borrowing it - although i dont know how else he thought i was managing! Found out after we moved he had been saving quite a lot of money which had built up to a fair old amount all the time he had been telling me we had nothing spare!

Anyway, we are now separating (my decision) - one of my fears is that i know i will not be able to continue to afford repaying my debts on a single income. I dont earn alot and not sure what tax credit / other help ill be entitled to yet - i feel sick with worry, ive missed payments this month as i just dont have the money to cover it - where do i start and will i ever get out of this?

willownuts

Hi,

Dont panic!! first and foremost. Do not panic!!!

You owe money on credit cards, loans etc. You are not ill, your children are not ill. This can be dealt with.

You sound as though youre in abit of a tailspin. And I do know how you feel.

The very worst thing the creditors can do is take you to court if you dont pay. (Unless you have any debt secured on your home.) But that is way, way down the line. And if it did get to that stage, the judge cant make you pay with money you dont have.

Get intouch with a debt charity. StepChange, Payplan, CAB. Also, a solicitor. If your husband has money, you are entitled to half of any assets. (Ive been through a divorce too)

So, kettle on. Write down who you owe and phone a debt charity first thing in the morning. Get intouch with your creditors and calmly tell them you are in financial difficulty. They should give you at least a month breathing space to get things sorted.

Good luck....you WILL be ok!

x

daithestag

Yes totally agree with willownuts - your best option is giving stepchange a call - write down everything you owe and what you have coming in - don't panic

[Deleted User]

I don't know your circumstances around shared property etc but when I divorced in 2005, I had debts and husband had savings. The debt was household debt but in my name. The judge agreed that the debt should go into the pot as well as ex's savings and the house. It was then all shared fairly

National_Debtline

Hi Emily

On the benefits/tax credit side of things, I would recommend contacting turn2us on 0808 802 2000 or visiting their website www.turn2us.org

They can help you understand the system and give you an idea of what/how much you are likely to be able to claim.

One piece of advice to begin with - ensure you have a "safe" bank account. That means one with a bank you owe no money to, not even a small overdraft. Have a look at the link below for details of "basic" bank accounts available on the High St. These are available to virtually everyone, regardless of existing debts:

https://www.moneyadviceservice.org.uk/en/articles/basic-bank-accounts

Regards

Dennis
@natdebtline

System

emilyk wrote: »

hi there,

im sat here not able to sleep feeling sick in panic about what to do. Im up to my eyes in debt, about to become a single parent and wondering how the hell im gonna get through this financially!

Long story - but over the years ive used credit cards and took out a loan to clear them at one point, then needed to use them again - always thinking we had no money so i borrowed to pay for the extra things we needed. My husband didnt know i was borrowing it - although i dont know how else he thought i was managing! Found out after we moved he had been saving quite a lot of money which had built up to a fair old amount all the time he had been telling me we had nothing spare!

Anyway, we are now separating (my decision) - one of my fears is that i know i will not be able to continue to afford repaying my debts on a single income. I dont earn alot and not sure what tax credit / other help ill be entitled to yet - i feel sick with worry, ive missed payments this month as i just dont have the money to cover it - where do i start and will i ever get out of this?

Hi there,

I hope you don't mind me jumping in. That's great advice from National Debtline - there is TurntoUs for tax/benefits advice and it is a good idea to get a basic bank account.

It does sound as though you could do with some free debt advice too. A debt advisor can look at your budget and suggest how to deal with your new situation - who to pay first and how to manage your debt on a single income.

Contact National Debtline or call us on 0800 138 1111 (8am-8pm working days, 8am - 4pm this Saturday).

We'll give you some immediate advice, build a budget and can do a welfare benefits check too.

Please don't worry, you're going through a lot at the moment but you're not alone - with free debt advice you can get the help you need to manage your finances.

Take care,
Jess