Help needed - Not sleeping now cos I am so worried!

mountainofdebt

Hi

I think what struck me the most with your initial post was the fact that you and your hubby have compartmentalised the household expenses and hence debts almost into his and hers.

I'm not saying that this is wrong but I get the impression that the situation would be better solved if you and your hubby were both to tackle the debt - whether its yours, his or joint - together. (and lets face it if you have to cut back on the grocery bill, kids birthdays or christmas then he is going to have to adjust as well)

As for clothes & other stuff you've bought does any of it still get used? If not and its in good condition, why not try and sell it on ebay? Ok you won't get what you paid for it but anything you get for it can always go towards your debt.

bonnie_2

so your monthly outgoings are 1454 and incomings are 800, your going to have to cut down drastically,pay the council tax matter of urgency cancel christmas clubs you do not need 1000 for xmas when in so much debt cut up credit cards. and live on £50 weekly.the kids you can use child benifit for this, this is what i do i have also stopped buying them clothes and only go out on free activities and take packed lunches with me.i do my food shopping for £40 for 4, by planning meals for week,writing list only taking that money, cook from scratch far cheaper,use coupons asda will take 20% wether you buy item or not. i wouldnt advise bankruptcy if you own your own house as you could lose it.i then have £10 a week for anything else that crops up.i would go to cab to see if you can get payments reduced or i dont think you will be able to do it.do you get tax credits, cab took these in to our repayment plan and let us keep the child benefit.once on a dmp you will not be able to get credit for 6 years

Magentasue

Bonnie, you're a star feeding four of you on £40 a week - maybe you could tell westhamsam11 how to do it? There's six of us, seven most weekends and we're veggie so I'm not the best person to offer tried and tested ways.

westhamsam11

mountainofdebt wrote:

Hi

I think what struck me the most with your initial post was the fact that you and your hubby have compartmentalised the household expenses and hence debts almost into his and hers.

We do this because of the way I spend - We did have a joint account once upon a time and we were forever borrowing (from my father-in-law) to get us through the month. As far as I am concerned these were the good old days because I had never had a credit card or loan then!

westhamsam11

bonnie wrote:

so your monthly outgoings are 1454 and incomings are 800, your going to have to cut down drastically,pay the council tax matter of urgency cancel christmas clubs you do not need 1000 for xmas when in so much debt cut up credit cards. and live on £50 weekly.the kids you can use child benifit for this, this is what i do i have also stopped buying them clothes and only go out on free activities and take packed lunches with me.i do my food shopping for £40 for 4, by planning meals for week,writing list only taking that money, cook from scratch far cheaper,use coupons asda will take 20% wether you buy item or not. i wouldnt advise bankruptcy if you own your own house as you could lose it.i then have £10 a week for anything else that crops up.i would go to cab to see if you can get payments reduced or i dont think you will be able to do it.do you get tax credits, cab took these in to our repayment plan and let us keep the child benefit.once on a dmp you will not be able to get credit for 6 years

Wow - how do you manage on £40 per week for a family of 4? We do own our own home which is worth around £180 and we have a mortgage of £120 I think. I did get working family tax credits but they seriously overpaid in the first year and although I told them several times and wrote to them they didnt change it until over a year later and then I owed them £3000! I was assured time and time again that it was our money so we spent it. I told them they couldnt possibly expect me to pay it all back and they agreed that I would receive no money from them until the debt was paid off.

westhamsam11

Magentasue wrote:

3)Apply for 0% credit card and transfer the Next debt and as much of the M&S as you can. Click on credit cards in the yellow box on the left and find the best 0% balance transfer card.

I tried to transfer my balance from the Next account over to Capital One when I first got the card but Capital One said it couldnt be transferred as if it was another credit card - Could I get a 0% card and pay off this balance? I did apply for an Egg card with 0% and was approved for it but they only gave me a balance of £1000 so I cut the card up without ever authourising it.

margaretclare

westhamsam11 wrote:

We do this because of the way I spend - We did have a joint account once upon a time and we were forever borrowing (from my father-in-law) to get us through the month.

I can only tell you what my personal experience is - my second husband and I both had bad experiences of joint accounts in previous marriages. However we've just opened a joint account purely for the household bills and we both have our own current accounts separately.

The household bills are a joint concern. Particularly things like the council tax - that's very serious if it doesn't get paid.

If you go to CAB they will divide your debts into 'priority' and 'non-priority'. Priority means the roof above your head and the essentials of living e.g. rent or mortgage, council tax, electricity, gas, water, food...telephone if you need it, TV licence. Those are the things that absolutely have to be paid. All else is non-priority, and that includes credit cards, unsecured loans, catalogues, loans between family members, you get the idea? And yet people seem to have the idea that they need to pay credit cards before council tax.

It's not a bad idea to start thinking in terms of priorities and non-priorities. And I repeat, the priority debts like council tax are a concern for both of you. If you could have a current account funded with an agreed amount by both of you (we do a monthly transfer from our personal current accounts to the joint one) and arrange that all household bills are paid by direct debit, that would at least ensure that the essentials are taken care of and less to worry about.

Christmas clubs etc do not even come into the equation. I know you have kids who expect presents etc but...they can't have presents if you ain't got no dosh to buy them!!! I recall one Christmas when my late younger daughter was doing a one-year college course therefore no income, and her husband was made redundant from his job which was subsidiary to the airline industry post-9/11. They declared 'Christmas is cancelled this year'. So everyone knew not to expect anything from them, not a card, nothing. And I think everyone respected them for it.

Aunty Margaret

Magentasue

westhamsam11 wrote:

I tried to transfer my balance from the Next account over to Capital One when I first got the card but Capital One said it couldnt be transferred as if it was another credit card - Could I get a 0% card and pay off this balance? I did apply for an Egg card with 0% and was approved for it but they only gave me a balance of £1000 so I cut the card up without ever authourising it.

1) Good point - not all cards allow store card balances to be transferred. If you can find one that does (look on the credit card board,I think this is the world of super balance transfers) go for it. And cut up that Next card NOW!

2) If I remember correctly, the Egg card has a lower rate of interest than either of your cards so you would be saving money by transferring £1000 of your debt and using the interest free period.

3) Have you worked out that grocery/spending challenge? You NEED Moneysaving Old Style. I have to confess that I'm not good at this bit. I used to spend £400 a month for 6/7 of us just on food. I've cut this to £350 and we're eating just as well, if not better. I'm hoping to make further cuts - first step is to plan your meals for the week and make a shopping list.

Then make cuts - try Netto/Aldi/Lidl, I was prejudiced against these for years. Now I prefer Lidls for some things

Home made rules! Don't buy frozen pizza, lasagne, etc. Ditch the packs and tins. Old Style board will show you how!

Do your weekly shop (I have to top up milk and have a veg box delivered) and then keep away from all shops.

Use cash for the week - when it's gone, it's gone.

What d'ya think?:eek: or :cool:?

Murtle

I don't really have much more to offer, as all the posts have been so informative, but I would say that if you can't transfer the store card, see if one of your cards (current or new one) will allow super balance transfer (Cash into your account) and then USE that to PAY OFF the next card. If you are worried you'll spend the money before paying off the Next card, transfer it to your husband and ask him to pay it off. Do you have your own bank account?? if so it might be worth asking them for an overdraft facility? it should be lower then the next APR.

I think selling any excess stuff you have would be a good thing to do, either via ebay or a carboot sale, every little bit helps, and you can use it to pay off your debts. £100 a month, is do-able for food for four, but you'll need to make changes in your shopping/cooking methods - it can be fun! Honest, I love cooking and find it very theraputic to make things from scratch....I get the "look at me aren't I clever..." feel from it!!!!

Good luck you can do it, and there are loads of people on the boards to provide you with the support and guidance you may need.

westhamsam11

Magentasue wrote:

1) Good point - not all cards allow store card balances to be transferred. If you can find one that does (look on the credit card board,I think this is the world of super balance transfers) go for it. And cut up that Next card NOW!

2) If I remember correctly, the Egg card has a lower rate of interest than either of your cards so you would be saving money by transferring £1000 of your debt and using the interest free period.

3) Have you worked out that grocery/spending challenge? You NEED Moneysaving Old Style. I have to confess that I'm not good at this bit. I used to spend £400 a month for 6/7 of us just on food. I've cut this to £350 and we're eating just as well, if not better. I'm hoping to make further cuts - first step is to plan your meals for the week and make a shopping list.

Then make cuts - try Netto/Aldi/Lidl, I was prejudiced against these for years. Now I prefer Lidls for some things

Home made rules! Don't buy frozen pizza, lasagne, etc. Ditch the packs and tins. Old Style board will show you how!

Do your weekly shop (I have to top up milk and have a veg box delivered) and then keep away from all shops.

Use cash for the week - when it's gone, it's gone.

What d'ya think?:eek: or :cool:?

I think the bill account would be a good idea - I could transfer £100 in to it each month and my husband can pay into it what he needs to for all of our other bills and then I do not have to worry about finding the council tax money. I must admit I have never not paid anything - I tend to pay everything and then rely on the Credit Card for the rest of the month which is probably why I am in so deep. I will dig out the Egg Card stuff and see if they will accept £1000 of the Next balance if not I will search for a card that will. I know I overspend on food shopping and I know that we could probably live for at least 2 weeks on whats here with only buying top up on bread, milk, cold meats, cheese and veg/salad. So I will make myself not food shop for 2 weeks and then by that time my family allowance will be through and I can use cash for the things we need only.

I will cancel the christmas clubs on Tuesday as soon as I get back in work and then that will give me an extra £90 per month - I will think about christmas when it gets here! A lot of my debt has gone on other people - My family all think we are very well off because of the way I spend and I suppose I have been happy to carry on letting them believe it by spending way to much on birthday/christmas presents in the past.

Thanks ever so much for all of your help - I am off to a kids birthday party now with my 8 year old and I have resisted going out and getting a big present and flash card - start as I mean to go on eh! I have bought a card from my corner shop and put a voucher in the card that I had left over from a birthday a few months ago.

Bit more :cool: now - see how I go. And thanks again. I will post back when I have sorted a few things.