I know I am not alone, but it feels like it

Hope2013

Hi there,
I have never before posted on a forum, so please bear with me.
How to start, well, I have a HUGE!!!! unsecured debt £70K+ , a mortgage and suffer from a @severe depressive illness' as the doctors call it. A few years ago I was shopping and handed it one of my CC to pay and it was refused, as I was sure I had an enormous credit limit I wondered what was wrong and decided I needed to call them after, so I took that card back and gave another, to the same avail. By now I was really worried as both cards, according to my memory, supposed to have a lot of credit on it, way more than what I was paying for at the till. So, being frustrated, puzzled, worried and embarrass, I paid with my Debit card and went home to check my cards. And guess what, I was at the top of both the cards! That was a shock to me, as I have no idea how it happen. To cut the story short, adding this to the rest of the other problems I was having at the time I ended up diagnosed with severe depression, becoming suicidal, being made redundant from my excellent well paid job (ill people are first in line to get kicked out when redundancies come around), and finding myself on a desperate situation.
During one of my periods of recovery I signed up to a free DMP with StepChange and it went well for a few years, I cut all my credit and store cards and was sort of managing on my salary, but after the redundancy everything went pear shape. Even when I am on a Token Plan at the moment some of the companies have started again to harass me, funny enough, they are mostly the ones I own the less! I feel so frustrated , scared and desperate that I am strugling to do anything related to money. I wish I could just sleep and die somewhere in my sleep. I know that will not be fair on my kids and that is why I believe I have not done something more proactive towards ending my life, but I feel that it does not matter how much I do to accept responsibility for my actions and improve the situation and paid off the debts bit by bit, things just go against me even more and more. I am so scared ......

financialdisease

I don't have any fantastic information for you but some sympathy and good vibes coming your way ((♥))

Skinnylatte

You're right you're not alone, and please try not to worry this is fixable, you have made the first step by posting on here.
Do you think you can fill in on of these http://www.stoozing.com/calculator/soa.php ?
I'm sending you one of these :grouphug: in the mean time

longtermplanner

hi Hope,

are you a single parent? Is there another adult you can talk to about this?

Your house - how much equity is there? How are you managing the mortgage repayments at present?

With such a huge amount of unsecured debt, I am afraid my advice is to sell the house and rent. If there is even 10 or 20k of equity, that should be enough to clear the debts with a full and final settlement. If there isn't enough then go bankrupt to clear the rest and have a feesh start.

Your kids need you. they don't need bricks and mortar. Getting rid of this monstrous pile of debt will remove a major source of stress from you.

giblet1979

You are not alone. There is always a solution, and there is so much help, advice and support on here.

If you're on a DMP e.g. with Stepchange, and get letters harassing you, just send them straight on to Stepchange, don't even bother reading them if you don't feel up to it.

You are MUCH more important than any amount of money.

Sending lots of good wishes your way x

Hope2013

longtermplanner wrote: »

hi Hope,

are you a single parent? Is there another adult you can talk to about this?

Your house - how much equity is there? How are you managing the mortgage repayments at present?

With such a huge amount of unsecured debt, I am afraid my advice is to sell the house and rent. If there is even 10 or 20k of equity, that should be enough to clear the debts with a full and final settlement. If there isn't enough then go bankrupt to clear the rest and have a feesh start.

Your kids need you. they don't need bricks and mortar. Getting rid of this monstrous pile of debt will remove a major source of stress from you.

No, there is no other adult, I am a single parent but no, selling is not an option, that is my worse nightmare, that I will end up homeless.

Upsidedown_Bear

Do have a read of this if you've not seen it already

http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/credit-cards/mental-health-guide

dubs57

I think that if you are not working you can get interest payments on a mortgage paid by housing benefit. My sister does and she is unable to work because of ill health. Have you looked into this? Then hopefully you wouldn't have to worry about losing the house.

sourcrates

Hope2013 wrote: »

Hi there,
I have never before posted on a forum, so please bear with me.
How to start, well, I have a HUGE!!!! unsecured debt £70K+ , a mortgage and suffer from a @severe depressive illness' as the doctors call it. A few years ago I was shopping and handed it one of my CC to pay and it was refused, as I was sure I had an enormous credit limit I wondered what was wrong and decided I needed to call them after, so I took that card back and gave another, to the same avail. By now I was really worried as both cards, according to my memory, supposed to have a lot of credit on it, way more than what I was paying for at the till. So, being frustrated, puzzled, worried and embarrass, I paid with my Debit card and went home to check my cards. And guess what, I was at the top of both the cards! That was a shock to me, as I have no idea how it happen. To cut the story short, adding this to the rest of the other problems I was having at the time I ended up diagnosed with severe depression, becoming suicidal, being made redundant from my excellent well paid job (ill people are first in line to get kicked out when redundancies come around), and finding myself on a desperate situation.
During one of my periods of recovery I signed up to a free DMP with StepChange and it went well for a few years, I cut all my credit and store cards and was sort of managing on my salary, but after the redundancy everything went pear shape. Even when I am on a Token Plan at the moment some of the companies have started again to harass me, funny enough, they are mostly the ones I own the less! I feel so frustrated , scared and desperate that I am strugling to do anything related to money. I wish I could just sleep and die somewhere in my sleep. I know that will not be fair on my kids and that is why I believe I have not done something more proactive towards ending my life, but I feel that it does not matter how much I do to accept responsibility for my actions and improve the situation and paid off the debts bit by bit, things just go against me even more and more. I am so scared ......

Hi,
You say you were made redundant, are you on JSA now or some other benefit ? or have you another job as yet ? is all the 70K debt on credit cards or loans ? when did you open theses accounts (roughly) pre 2007 or not ? what stage are you at with these debts letters and calls ? or have any been to court ? is the mortgage up to date ?, sorry for all questions, I know it must be hard, but the clearer picture we have of your situation the more help we may be able to offer.

Hope2013

I am on NEA as they say I had a good business plan, but did not qualify for the business start-up loan because of the debts. So now I am an employee of my own company but can not pay myself a salary because the company does not makes enough money.
The mortgage is on a agreed period of interest only but I was told that if I am on NEA I can not get the interest paid by the benefits agency.
As due to the situation I had to stop making the agreed paymentsto the DMP, they put me on a Token Plan, but some of the companies did not liked that and have re-started their harassment campaing and adding penalty fees to the account.

Hope2013

They ar credit cards and unsecured loans, all started way before 2007