Need help No motivation

NOMOJO

Thought I would join today - have been reading MSE for few years know how to search for cheaper car/house insurance, gas/electric etc. 0% credit cards never late with payments. But cannot get DH on board - he know we are in a financial mess but cannot stop spending on unnecessary items.
As he keeps spending it makes me think why should I even though I know I should.
At the beginning of every month I think right meal plan, shopping budget, ebay, (I do crafting but not as much as I should.) it never lasts for more than perhaps a week.
How do you all keep the motivation going even if you DH is not on board, and how do you get your DH to listen and help to save and pay of debts which grow month by month.
thanks for reading

Suseka

Hi and welcome,

Can you expand a little when you say the OH knows your in a mess but just keeps spending on unnecessary items? Does he really know how bad it is, or you assume he realises? Perhaps you could write it down in black and white - incomings vs outgoings and how much is being spent frivolously.

Both me and OH have debts and we are sharing the burden of a joint DMP in order to remedy that. Before then I guess I knew we were struggling (OH had various pay related benefits cut) but didn't know how bad it was until it was too late.

Its a harsh reality facing up to your financial situation and sometimes you just have to be blunt and make the other half listen (easier said than done I know).

NOMOJO

Hi Suseka thanks for your reply.
DH know roughly know how much we are in debt but has buried in head in the sand. He has cut back on spending but for example when servicing our cars he will not buy 1 say oil filter he'll buy 2 - 1 for next time, but by the next time comes around we have sold the car, this has happened a few times.
I will try and sit him down tonight and explain this has to stop and we have to pay off our debts - you never know what is around the corner.

FireWyrm

NOMOJO wrote: »

Hi Suseka thanks for your reply.
DH know roughly know how much we are in debt but has buried in head in the sand.

Nominate someone to be the final financial arbitrator? I run the finances in the house. Nothing gets spent without my say-so, end of story.

NOMOJO wrote: »

He has cut back on spending but for example when servicing our cars he will not buy 1 say oil filter he'll buy 2 - 1 for next time, but by the next time comes around we have sold the car, this has happened a few times.

Ah, penny wise, pound foolish as the saying used to go. How about if you suggest putting the cost of that extra part into a savings account labelled 'car repairs' or something like that instead of spending it up front?

NOMOJO wrote: »

I will try and sit him down tonight and explain this has to stop and we have to pay off our debts - you never know what is around the corner.

In a word, interest rate rises. If that doesnt put the fear of god in him, nothing will. Work out what would happen to your debts if your interest rate went to 30% and tell him that is what will happen in the next few years. Work out what happens to your mortgage if the rate goes to 7% or more? What happens if one of you loses your job? Can you cope? Illustrations like that are what will bring it home.