Wife built up credit card debt without my knowledge

1blahblah1

Hi,

2 days ago I found out my wife had built up around £13,000 of debt - I wasn't best pleased to say the least. Anyway I paid off a few of cards and shop cards (maybe a bad idea) and still left with £8500 debt and now I have no money in my accounts now to pay any more debt off for her. Anyway one of the cards she had was a platinum barclaycard...she had run up about £7500 debt on this card alone. Considering she only gets about £500 / month... although she told barclays she was on £20000 / year. Surely they should do a proper credit check and see that she is being paid regular over the last 6 months or so before they can give her a spending limit this high. My thought when I saw this figure was it should be impossible for Barclays to give someone this much credit. To me this smacks of lending money to somebody without the ability to pay their debt. She has only paid debts in the past because I've paid them for her with my savings - unfortunately my savings have been blead dry. Basically what i'm asking is there any chance that this amount credit can be reduced as it was a ridiculous amount of money for the banks to give her access too. Or is it a case of she's spent the money she should have to pay. If you read this BBC article (google search "irresponsible lendingprohibited by oft" It states lenders must assess if customers can afford to repay loans...clearly in my eyes..my wife has no chance of paying £7500 off (as previously she was only paying off debt with my money). What is your view? And what should I do next?

FireWyrm

Well, there is nothing you can do about it. It might well have been irresponsible lending, but there was irresponsible borrowing going on too. The debts are hers if that makes any difference and not attached to the house or to you, unless you are explicitly named as a co-signatory.

Why has she run up the debts and didnt you notice anything new coming into the house? I have a similarly sometime dangerous situation with my spouse and I simply manage the situation - no credit at all for them. I manage the household finances, completely and utterly. If money is to be spent that I dont 'need' to know about, a fund for that purpose is available and a ballpark figure agreed ahead of time. I have simply removed temptation and that is that.

marliepanda

Your wife lied.

You seem to be mad at Barclays for believing her lies. I assume she was managing the minimum payments up until now?

You are being annoyed at the wrong person. Perhaps your wife should up her hours to pay back the debt rather than sticking at £500 a month.

poppasmurf_bewdley

You can't blame Barclaycard for lending the money to your wife. They didn't tie her up and force the money into her handbag.

If your wife is like my ex, she will be crafty enough to weave a tall tale that will seem plausible to almost anybody. Women have been known to lie.

eyeopener2

Stop the blame game and work out a way to pay it back. Work together.

You also need to find out the under lying issue that caused so much debt to be accumulated. Once you've cracked that, the rest is easy.

I lied constantly to my wife, ran up £25k of debt and the house of cards collapsed underneath me. We worked together to sort it out and now we are a stronger couple for it.

Don't blame Barclays, forgive your wife and get on with sorting it out.

diamondfan25

Hi There


I was once like your wife!!! I was very sneaky & devious & thought my husband would never know what I was doing. I used to apply for credit (in my name, never used my hubbys) & not think anything off it. I can (hand on heart) say that I was a bear faced liar & im not proud...


My hubby found out about my debt & was livid (like you would be)
I was only working 3 1/2 day on £180 pw but told banks I was on much more, hence why they gave me credit, I still do work them 3 1/2 days but have also had to get myself another part time job on a evening working 2 hrs every night.


like eyeopener says you need to work together & believe me there is light at the end of the tunnel, its getting brighter everyday for me


Good luck xx

Kate_fixing_it

Hi there,

I'm ashamed to admit I have been in a similar situation to your wife. I ran up debt on 6 cards, took a loan to pay them off, ran them up again and stupidly got involved with PDLs. My hubby knew I had debt but not how much. I came clean last October. I think if he'd found out for himself things would've been MUCH worse. As things stand I'm about to enter a DMP but it's ME that's taking responsibility.

I don't mean to be rude (so please don't take it that way) you are doing her no favours. This isn't the first time you have bailed her out, she's learning nothing. I only changed my ways when I was staring down the barrel of losing everything. It's one hell of a lesson and nobody wants to see their loved ones in trouble but she has to deal with this herself.

God forbid, but what if something happens and you are unable to earn? I speak from experience when I say that something like a broken leg could turn your lives inside out.

Does she show any remorse other than the initial guilt and upset at being found out? Has she destroyed the cards? Told lenders the truth about her income? My DH didn't believe I was serious until I handed over my cut up cards. What I'm getting at here is that unless she fully understands and takes responsibility this is going to happen again, with more money owed and more serious consequences.

I wish you luck in getting through this but it's very telling that it's you posting here for advice and not your wife. DH and I are getting through our problems together (the drbt and secrecy was a symptom of other issues) and our relationship is getting better. I hope you have the same outcome.

Kate x