Opposite of hoarding anxiety - no name for this!

[Deleted User]

Over the years I learned to live without too much clutter, just the necessary or minor stuff and don't hoard beyond storing dry foodstuffs and cleaning gear (one shelf each only)

I got married again, and as my husband is from a south Asian country have visited there a few times and the fact that some people manage very well with relatively few possessions stayed with me.

I'm not a miser, I enjoy good food and sharing that with all who might drop by, and my nieces get nice gifts for birthdays, Christmas.

It's just that I still crave and want less stuff around me. The thought of buying new shiny consumer goods actually now makes me feel anxious! When my husband said he might get a new phone, my first reaction was annoyance and dread of yet another plastic shiny thing plus chargers etc.

This is how I feel though - apart from soft furnishings, mattresses, sofas, underwear and shoes I really don't want to buy a newly-made item for the home. I freely buy consumables for the PC etc fine.

There seems to me so much quality older stuff available, especially when it comes to things like furniture, crockery etc.

I've been reducing my paperback book collection, selling a few extra things on Ebay, give away on Freecycle, occasionally got stuff from there too.

Hard to explain this feeling, except it is akin to the anxiety that some hoarders feel - but with regard to acquiring new objects

Linda32

I know what you mean and its what bought me to this forum in the first place. Re using rather than buying new all the time.

[Deleted User]

I must admit after my friend de-cluttered my house I felt so much better for it and now raely get much in store if I can help it.I am at present running down some of the food mountain that I seem to have aquired and now only shop for essentials of things as I want to use up what I have and clear a few cupboards of stuff.I really don't need 9 tins of tomato's do I :):)

GreyQueen

joolzred, it's called minimalism, and there's a lot of it about if you do an internet search. I've been trending towards that direction for years, with the realisation that Stuff brings a short-lived thrill, which often dissipates shortly after dragging home the retail kill.

Sound to me that you're on a good track in life and more power to your elbow.

Less Stuff = more leisure to enjoy your family and friends, the natural environment and engage with the world.

Check out this American stand-up comedian on Stuff and laugh your socks off. http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/0364784775/george-carlin-stuff-from-classicstandupfan

Emm-in-a-pickle

Thanks for that link GQ, it`s very funny but well-observed - especially the bit about packing stuff to take on holiday. (I am not known for travelling light...)

My best friend went `minimalist` several years ago when she moved to a much smaller house in another area, and has kept it up without difficulty. We were talking about this when she visited recently, as I`m always conscious of my place being very cluttered even after a de-clutter, iykwim!!
My friend has summed up what made it possible for her:-
1) Sheer necessity at the beginning when they moved.
2) Being on a very tight budget with no spare cash for `stuff` unless it was really needed.
3) Having no kids, and her parents still over here in their house ok with the `stuff` she left behind - and not close by enough to keep getting her more stuff like they used to when she first left the parental home.
So it`s just her and her OH and they are both of the same mind, they`ve stayed `minimalist`. Any `spare` space is taken up by their pets - a very large dog and 3 house ferrets!

I have some of my late parents` stuff, stuff my daughter left behind, my son moved back here and so his stuff and lots of his daughters stuff is here too. That`s not even counting mine & OH`s stuff - no wonder we`re cluttered!!!
But, like the OP I am not into shiny consumer goods or replacing things in the home just for the sake of it. My daughter has had more changes of curtains/carpets/tellies etc in a decade than I`ve had all my life!
So a part of me is minimalist, despite all the clutter.

pm2326

I wouldn't say I was minimalist however I wont replace anything unless it's broken. I refuse to upgrade anything as it's just going to be out of date within months.

My late father was always buying new so he had the latest model....I left home 21 year ago and I've never bought a tv as always got his cast off's.

My hoover was parents cast off and lasted me 15 years before it went bang last year.

When I moved out of my flat 12 year ago I brought the carpets I had bought 9 years earlier and used them in my new house, only replaced them last year.

My iron was 20 years old when it went bang.

My friends & family think it's funny that I wont replace until it's broke but I just dont feel the need to have everything new and shiny.

[Deleted User]

GreyQueen wrote: »

joolzred, it's called minimalism, and there's a lot of it about if you do an internet search. I've been trending towards that direction for years, with the realisation that Stuff brings a short-lived thrill, which often dissipates shortly after dragging home the retail kill.

Sound to me that you're on a good track in life and more power to your elbow.

Less Stuff = more leisure to enjoy your family and friends, the natural environment and engage with the world.

Check out this American stand-up comedian on Stuff and laugh your socks off. http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/0364784775/george-carlin-stuff-from-classicstandupfan

Thanks all for replying In Nepal they have a saying "Simple Life = High Thinking" which kinda rings true.

But it's the anxiety feelings when confronted with the idea of a new 'thing' coming into the house which bugs me a bit. Time for some more re-learning relaxation techniques I think.

Bathory

I get this 'anxiety' type of feeling, I think it must stem from being minimal for the vast majority of life - long before I had heard of the term minimalist. I try to just relax and tell myself that its my boyfriends stuff coming into the house and not mine to worry about, as he is not minimalist and I don't wish to change him. To have a home the way I would like it to be would really mean living alone.

I don't like to buy new stuff either, I have a 10 year old nokia phone that's still going, some of our remaining electrical things date from the 90's, the telly got sacked when digital took over and I get by with a spin dryer rather than buying a washing machine ... 'if it ain't broke' springs to mind.

bluebag

joolzred wrote: »

Thanks all for replying In Nepal they have a saying "Simple Life = High Thinking" which kinda rings true.

But it's the anxiety feelings when confronted with the idea of a new 'thing' coming into the house which bugs me a bit. Time for some more re-learning relaxation techniques I think.

There is comfort in the familiar though isn't there? I frequently dislike anything 'new' as I usually keep things I am very comfortable with.
This means when I have to get something new I have to make adjustments to use the new thing, or it doesn't work in quite the same way, or it may do more things than I want or not do as much as I need.

I have had more than one favorite appliance die only to find it's 'new and improved' replacement isn't a patch on the old faithful. Some of the discomfort with new things isn't just all in my head!

meritaten

I cant do 'minimalism'. I was born in the mid-fifties and stockpiling while the goods are available is ingrained in me. my parents and grandparents lived through WW2 and after that, stockpiled in a big way! my mother still does it - at last count she had at least a dozen boxes of Daz which she had bought when heavily discounted!

I also cant bear to throw away items which could be useful soon. I do pass on clothes to charity shops. I also buy them from there! I don't keep broken items or 'bits and bobs'.

I don't like bare shelves or walls, but don't go 'overboard'. I do however, have a lovely collection of antiques which my parents and their siblings rejected as 'junk and oldfashioned'.
I have found the right balance for me - but my guilty secret is my book collection is hidden in spare room wardrobes - as OH thinks books are 'junk'! and I like to keep them.

[Deleted User]

pm2326 wrote: »

I wouldn't say I was minimalist however I wont replace anything unless it's broken. I refuse to upgrade anything as it's just going to be out of date within months.

Me too. Not minimalist, but the house is not cluttered either, even though I don't throw much away. I don't buy much, and keep it as long as poss, so it doesn't cause much clutter even though I don't throw stuff away.

My old telly was 30 years old when it kicked the bucket 5 years ago, the HiFi is 30 years old this year. The cooker was about 45 years old when I replaced it with a 20 year old one two years ago. The fridge was over 40 years old when that went last year. 3pc suite 31 years old.......