Partners Debts

Tribaltiger

Hi all.. New to the forums and have a question to ask.

In short ive found out my partner is receiving letters from debt companies for money she owes. I knew there was an outstanding debt that was being paid off about 2yrs ago for about £300...but the most recent letter i stumbled across is stating nearly £2000. I know debts get sold from company to company but from the letters ive seen im not convinced its just one debt being passed about. When i confront her the only response i get is " im sorting it"!! Our relationship is at breaking point as it is and with kids involved all i can think is " how much is she not telling me?" if someone comes knocking on the door where do i stand as the debts are in her name? If someone does come knocking for payments or goods to cover the debt, legally how do they judge what is owned by her or anyone else in the house?....I dont think its got to that point yet but this is where my mind is going as ive always been one to make sure i pay whats owed. I know there is the data protection Act but is there a way to find out what debts are against an address? 2yrs ago she got a mobile contract for our daughter...that contract ended and a month or so ago she tried to get another but for herself and she was refused. So would i be right in thinking that somewhere along the line somethign has been filed against her? I live at the same address and have 3 different mobile contracts and never had any real problems getting loans. Well apart from not having enough credit history.

not sure if any of that makes sense or clear....just got things rolling around in my head and looking for a bit of advice.

thanks in advance tribal

19lottie82

are you linked financially to your partner? i.e. do you have any joint accounts?

FireWyrm

Tribaltiger wrote: »

Hi all.. New to the forums and have a question to ask.

In short ive found out my partner is receiving letters from debt companies for money she owes.

The first question in tackling this, is how much does she owe? You're going to need to sit down and have a sensible and adult conversation on the subject if you want to save this relationship.

Tribaltiger wrote: »

I knew there was an outstanding debt that was being paid off about 2yrs ago for about £300...but the most recent letter i stumbled across is stating nearly £2000. I know debts get sold from company to company but from the letters ive seen im not convinced its just one debt being passed about. When i confront her the only response i get is " im sorting it"!! Our relationship is at breaking point as it is and with kids involved all i can think is " how much is she not telling me?"

Probably allot. Out of fear, out of embarrassment, out of worry as to how you will react. Perhaps a bit of reassurance will get answers and insight where badgering and anger will not.

Tribaltiger wrote: »

if someone comes knocking on the door where do i stand as the debts are in her name?

They are her debts unless expressly linked to you say as in the case of a mortgage. But in reality, the household expenses are both your problem and with children involved, even more so. You need to understand what is happening, how deep the hole is and have a realistic plan for getting you BOTH out of it.

Tribaltiger wrote: »

If someone does come knocking for payments or goods to cover the debt, legally how do they judge what is owned by her or anyone else in the house?....

Are you married?

Tribaltiger wrote: »

I dont think its got to that point yet but this is where my mind is going as ive always been one to make sure i pay whats owed.

Good, then your experience and level headedness will come in handy helping her to sort it out. Debts are rarely incurred through profligacy, more they just seem to accrue over the years. Kids shoes, new clothes, a bedroom decorated, an unexpected car repair. Perhaps the question you ought to be asking, is why is she in this mess? Is she trying to shoulder too much of the household expenses? Are you both going out to dinner rather more often than is prudent?

Tribaltiger wrote: »

I know there is the data protection Act but is there a way to find out what debts are against an address?

Debts are attached to people, not property unless it is a joint venture and then, both of you are liable. However, it is unlikely you are liable for debts you were unaware of. It is possible however, and you need to get to the bottom of it...calmly.

Tribaltiger wrote: »

2yrs ago she got a mobile contract for our daughter...that contract ended and a month or so ago she tried to get another but for herself and she was refused. So would i be right in thinking that somewhere along the line somethign has been filed against her?

Not necessarily - she's probably run out of credit.

Tribaltiger wrote: »

I live at the same address and have 3 different mobile contracts and never had any real problems getting loans. Well apart from not having enough credit history.

Forgive me, but it sounds as though you live at the same address like a lodger rather than a partner/husband. Your whole OP sounds more worried about yourself, than her or your home or relationship. This is only going to get worse if you dont start to calmly deal with it.

Tribaltiger wrote: »

not sure if any of that makes sense or clear....just got things rolling around in my head and looking for a bit of advice.

Calm down. Sit down and decide if you want to save this relationship or not. To pay off debts means a long hard haul and you are going to have to cooperate for years to come. If you cant even discuss the problem without getting into a fight, you are in more than just a bit of financial trouble.