Need to move on but don't know how

chewynut

Good evening.

I'm looking for some advice about the situation I've found myself in. I'll try and keep it short. I apologise for the vague bits but I know at least one colleague uses this website.

I'm 28 months into my job. It was an apprenticeship that doesn't even resemble what they said it was going to be. I enjoy the actual job but I can't cope with my boss's attitude any more. I'm the first to admit that I'm not perfect and I make mistakes. But it's very hard to do your job well when you're constantly belittled, intimidated and made to feel like a stupid little girl all the time. I dread going into work when he's there because I never know if I'm going to be ranted at or mostly ignored. There's no in between. I live in fear of making mistakes and then end up making worse mistakes or forgetting things because I get so panicky about it all that I freeze up or my mind goes blank and I make stupid decisions.

I've got to the point where I know I need to move on because he's going nowhere and he's not going to change. I'm going to go to the Job Centre in the morning but I don't know what to expect.

So to return to the purpose of this thread, I was wondering if anybody has any advice about what to do now. I feel lost and useless and unemployable and the thought of finding another job is daunting. I don't know where to begin. Will the job centre help me even though I'm hanging on by the skin of my teeth? I'm starting to feel like I'm only fit for a job with no human interaction or responsibilities to mess up. Does anything like that exist?

Thank you for reading this. I appreciate I'm lucky to have a job and that's more than some people have. But surely just because he pays me doesn't give him the right to treat me like something he trod in?

hcb42

You could try and tackle the attitude head on - or via HR...

Or if that isnt possible and the only way is out, then just do some research, give your job search some real focus, identify potential employers, industries etc, and get working on it.

There are a lot of bullies and bad managers in the world unfortunately

Job centre might not be the best place to start, you dont say what you do, but they dont have a lot of jobs for the majority.

Try local recruitment agencies, or careers advice service? Don't pay for that advice though..

the_bottler

Your young - hate patronising but you can move on, never let fear stop you


I get the feeling you maybe don't like dealing with customers? again this is something that improves with age I can promise you, in fact when stuck with the same similarish kind of manager attitude recently, customers were the only thing that kept me going and it positively wound them up I'm sure that I could understand the customer


The only non contact customer role I held was in bank processing (we were not allowed to talk) and warehouse and I hated that too - their was still stress as tasks were timed and if you were slow your wages got docked so it is not all one sided


The granny bottler x

chewynut

Thank you for the quick reply.

There are only 5 of us so unfortunately he is HR. My only option would be to go to the board of directors but I can't see what ending well. I've made a couple of attempts to stick up for myself over the years but they've never gone well because he's always got an answer. No matter what you say, he's always got a reason why he was in the right to treat me like crap. If he hasn't got a reason then he brings up issues from months ago that I didn't even know were issues. If I can prove he's in the wrong, I'm usually scoffed at or ignored for a while. It makes it so hard to talk to him!

I'll try the job centre anyway to see if they have copies of the local newspaper. I seem to remember that being a good source because it gave you details rather than 'warehouse technician' in a vague location by a confidential employer.

chewynut

the_bottler wrote: »

Your young - hate patronising but you can move on, never let fear stop you


I get the feeling you maybe don't like dealing with customers? again this is something that improves with age I can promise you, in fact when stuck with the same similarish kind of manager attitude recently, customers were the only thing that kept me going and it positively wound them up I'm sure that I could understand the customer


The only non contact customer role I held was in bank processing (we were not allowed to talk) and warehouse and I hated that too - their was still stress as tasks were timed and if you were slow your wages got docked so it is not all one sided


The granny bottler x

Actually, that kind of advice is just what I need to hear, thank you. The fear is stopping me. Every time I come home in tears because he's humiliated me in front of customers I say that's it, I'm looking for another job but the fear of having to find another job when I feel useless at the one I've got stops me.

The sad thing is that I really do love my job. The customers are the best part of it because you see the regulars. I get loads of Christmas cards and I even got birthday cards last year. I get a lot of comments from the people who know what my boss is like. There are locals who won't use us because of how he treats his staff (aka me).

I like the thought of a warehouse job. I'm used to working any odd hours and all night if I need to. I wonder if I could find an adminy type job in a warehouse or something.

Horace

Jobcentres tend not to have newspapers in them these days - they rely on their dodgy computers. If you need to look for work and want to read newspapers then you can often do this online.

There are some bosses who are bullies and it isn't just the younger generation that they bully, I was once bullied by a boss and turned into a suicidal wreck (no exaggeration). It took me an age to re-build my confidence but it can be done.

Don't walk away from your job - ride it out and apply for other ones because it is easier to get a job when you are in a job than when you are not.

Chin up - you can do it. Your boss is probably a bully because he is out of his depth and does not know how to manage people. You would think that the customers who witness his behaviour would write to the directors to make their feelings known.

Kayalana99

How long have you got left of the apprenticeship? To be honest you've stuck it out a long while personally I would say fight though... I am someone who has quit many things in my younger years for various reasons and I wish I had stayed and completed them now.

chewynut

I completed the apprenticeship in a year.

When I got the apprenticeship, I was told it would be something like £2.60 an hour, for 16 hours a week. This would rise to 30 hours after 3 months and I would go onto NMW once I completed the apprenticeship. We were supposed to be having an extension built and my hours would go up because I'd be looking after the new building and the people using it. The function of the new building is exactly what I wanted to do when I left school so I was willing to work nights, weekends and drop everything when I was needed because it was supposed to turn into my perfect job.

The only thing that has changed is I went up to NMW. There's no sign of the extension ever being built. I found out last year that I will never have anything to do with it. My job is to work all the crappy hours nobody else wants to work and I think it always will be. I'd be fine with that if my boss addressed me like a normal person. It's like when we're busy and I've gone over my hours for the week, he'll give me a day off but he phrases it in such a way I feel like I've done something wrong.

Then, for example, he'd have to go shopping to restock. He never buys enough new stock in and I end up rushing out the next day. This has a knock on effect on my schedule and I get in trouble for that as well as it being my fault he didn't buy enough stock. Even though he just gave me the day off?? If I point that out, that's when he brings up some unrelated incident just to 'win' the argument. An example from yesterday is that I can't be doing my job properly at the weekends because he popped in at the end of a children's party and there was no balloons on the walls. It shows what he thinks of me that his first assumption is that I'm being lazy and taking shortcuts. Not that young children love balloons and burst them within the hour

It's that kind of negativity and always assuming the worst of me that is dragging me down. I can't be that awful at my job but he's making me feel like I can't do anything right.

When_the_going_gets_tough

Chewy - I think you just need to look for another job. But try and do that without resigning first. The job centre won't help you, yiou need to register for a number of job sites online - try googling and all the big sites will come up. Then you will be emailed a selection of jobs that fit your criteria every day. You can try your local newspaper as well - but I think you just need to buy it. Also don't forget to keep your eyes open whenever you are out for cards in shop windows etc. Horrible bosses like you have need to be ignored - I think you will soon get your confidence back if you work where you are treated decently and wih respect. Spend a whole weekeend surfing the net and apply for anything and everything!

whodathunkit

Have you thought of doing some kind of assertiveness training?

chewynut

Well I went to the Job Centre this morning. I didn't expect anything, it was just to see if they had any advice or knew of anybody I could talk to, that kind of thing. In short, no advice, nobody I can talk to. If I resign I'll be sanctioned, if I'm fired I'll be sanctioned. It was a very reassuring conversation...

After that I went to get the local newspaper that comes out every Wednesday. The first time I signed on, it had about five pages of jobs. The second time I had to sign on it'd gone down to two. There's a quarter of a page of jobs in it today :eek: There's one for a hardware store that I could probably do, depending on what the 'heavy lifting' is. I'm only 5ft 4 :rotfl: