What is the real cost of having kids?

SJG123

Hi Everyone,

Hubby and I are about to adopt 2 little boys 4 and 2. While money is not going to be too much of a struggle, living off the reduced wage is obviously going to be tight. I am trying to put together a semi strict budget so that we can stay in control of our spending and could do with some help.

We don't have any other children so I don't have any real idea as to how much things cost? How much extra does it cost to feed the children, what about incidentals - clothes, toiletries, (also the little one is still in nappies)?

What are peoples recommendations with regards different brands for different products etc?

Also, we are starting from scratch - so any information will be greatfully received - how many sets of bedding etc do I need to buy? How many clothes do kids need? Obviously there is an element of common sense here but what do people think I can get away with as a basic set up so that we are not having to constantly rush to the shops for the first couple of weeks?

(We have furniture, books and a few toys all sourced second hand or donated by kindly relatives)

If anyone can give me some rough ideas I would appreciate it. I have no Idea where to start.

Thanks in advance.

thenanny2die4

Congratulations on your new family! How exciting for you .

I can't do costs for you really, but...

Do you want to use disposable nappies for the little one or would you consider reusables? That's a one-off cost of course, but if he's an older two year old, it may be that he'll not be needing nappies for too much longer so disposables might be cheaper in the long run. I hear good things on here about the Aldi disposables but I've no personal experience of them.

Is the four year old at school? If he has a school uniform that will mean he needs considerably fewer home clothes. I'd get lots of socks, pants and vests but, to some degree, you have to decide how often you plan to do laundry and how you'll be drying the clothes. This will have a bearing on turnaround time. Remember also to shop with the seasons (particularly for the little one as you can hand down the older boy's clothes but buying cute things that the little one grows out of before he's had a chance to wear them will be frustrating.

Sorry, that wasn't particularly helpful but I wanted to respond; I felt excited on your behalf. Good luck and enjoy your children.

Possession

Join your local Facebook selling sites as children's stuff is what comes up most frequently and you'll be able to get most things you need secondhand very cheaply. I very much regret buying everything new when my children were little and then giving it away for someone else to use secondhand!
Congratulations on your adoption too, I hope they settle quickly with you.

Ladyluck1

Congratulations.
Children are a true blessing and you're giving them a second chance and a lovely life! Hats off to you!
I have 2 children so I'll try and say what I think is essential...
Beds: We have a second hand cotbed for DD and DS has a bed which used to be my brothers! Mum keeps everything.
Absolutely nothing wrong with second hand furniture, IKEA do some lovely kids storage too fairly cheap. Trofast and expedit.

Clothes; it's still fairly cold but I wouldn't go overboard with jumpers etc so in my boys wardrobe (dd still baby)
Long sleeve tops x 5
Jeans x 4
Tshirts x 3
Hoodies x 2
Pants x 10
Vests x 6
Socks x 10 pairs
Pyjamas x 8
One warm coat
A hat
2 pairs shoes trainers and one more waterproof.
As pp said posaibly less for 4 yo if he's at school?
I would try and find out what the 4 year old likes prior ie any character etc. 2 year olds aren't usually too bothered.
Asda are doing some lovely bits at the mo and do very cheap basics
Bedding I only have 2 sets and an extra sheet.
Then plates and kids cutlery for the 2 yo. At 2 they don't eat that much so it shouldn't effect your food bill too much, the 4yo will need packed lunches on nursery/school days.
As a family of 4 (buying food and formula) we spend around £130-150 though a lot less some months.
Toys, second hand is also good but don't buy too much as it probably won't get played with! If you have a go garden a good old ball or a dig about keeps my boy occupied for hours!
They'll probably like to watch cbeebies or similar too for an hour or so so that'll keep then occupied whilst you find out about toys.
We but aldi or lidl nappies for our DD and they are great!

Pooky

Congratulations on your new family.

Bedding wise, I'd opt for at least two sets for each bed, a spare duvet is handy too if you get any wet or sicky accidents. (I always kept a spare duvet and pillow with covers on under my bed in a storeage bag so I wasn't scrabbling around in the middle of the night.

As for toiletries, a gentle shampoo and a mild toothpaste is about all you need differently. A bar of soap and a flannel does the rest. Brand isn't important, stick with something basic and see how you get on with it.

Don't forget to get some plasters and children's paracetamol, a must for the first aid box. Oh and keep a pack of tissues or wet wipes on or near you at all times for snotty noses.

storytime

Congratulations on your new family. We adopted 3 children all in one go in 1993. The first thing I would say is talk to the foster parents about the routine they are in and try to carry on the same tweaking it to how you want to live. The second is to be kind to yourselves. You both will be shattered, so call in help from family and friends even just to put on a wash load or do some ironing. A few ready meals won't kill them and forget about dusting!Then find your nearest mother and toddler group and go with the 2 year old when the 4 year old is at school. You might find , as I did that you are not the mother with adopted children. Either way it's still nice to hear other mums problems and realise that you are not the only one.
I agree that Aldi nappies are the best and cheap. Clothes,especially in the sales from supermarkets and Primark are fine. I used to buy in the sales for the following year. Also start a present stash as the boys will be invited to lots of parties. Second hand toys are the way to go at their age and I used to rotate them, putting some away.
Finally if you are planning a holiday this year get the children involved , show them pictures , the date on the calendar etc. it makes them realise this is a forever family and will add to their feelings of stability. It worked for us. We are now in the process of planning our daughter's wedding. Good luck.

Jox

I second joining a facebook free for families type group for your area, if you put a post saying you're adopting 2 children and would appreciate anything that others no longer need, you'll probably get some kind donations of clothes, bedding, toys etc
Nappies for my little one are £6 for 80 in Asda.

helzbelz_57

congratulationson your new family!

wrt nappies- i would probably stick with whatever the little one is used to using now. he will be going through a big change coming to live with you and toilet training/habits is such a big thing to fix if you get it wrong (voice of experience) so it would be awful to give him an insecurity over his toilet habits before toilet training even starts.

clothes wise- i have two boys aged 4 and 8 and i have school unfiforms which i assume you wont have for a while so i would say 4/5 pairs of trousers, sweaters and long/short sleeve t-shirts each. but also consider how often you will be washing and how quickly you can get things dried. do you have a tumble drier or are you dependant on the weather? i am and i struggle to dry things quickly so try to keep a few extra of everything. underwear i would get 2 of the 7 packs for £2.50 from A*DA for the older boy and maybe he has a favourite character he could chose some himself when he has settled in a bit. socks and vests i would have 7 sets each. teh same with pyjamas. i kitted my two out in new clothes after christmas in the sales and spent £85 on each, but this didn't include underwear, socks, vests or pyjamas so i would think another £30ish. however i would very much recommend looking for bundles of clothing on ebay or facebook selling pages as you can get some great bargains. especially shoes of ebay for children.

bedlinen- at least two sets each. as i said i struggle to get things dried quickly and my youngest will sometimes have night time accidents so i have quite a lot of spares but accumulated over the years so not an all in one expense as you have to do. again, try ebay and facebook or alternatively shops like B and M do some lovely children's sets and often have reduced stuff too. i have picked up duvet and pillow sets for £2 in there.

one thing i would definitely recommend is waterproofs and wellies. it can be quite stressful for both you and children adapting to new family life and sometimes the best thing you can do is just get everyone outside to blow off some steam. wellies and coats on and you have no excuse- extreme wind or rain aside.

helzbelz_57

also- spread the word amongst family and friends and ask them all to keep a look/ear out for anything you need. maybe jot down a list as you think of things. people can be so generous when they know you need something.

helzbelz_57

" i would probably stick with whatever the little one is used to using now. "

apologies- i should clarify what i mean by this. i dont mean stick to a brand he is used to. i mean if he is using disposables now then i would stick to those rather than strating with reusables as they give a different sensation when wet than disposables do which he may find distressing.

Willowpop

You've had fab advice so far, I can think of a few things to add off the top of my head…. kids don't need expensive toys necessarily. A big box of balloons (inflated) was possibly the best xmas pressie my then 5 yr old daughter ever had!
If you like doing arts and crafts, have look on Pinterest, there are LOADS of ideas on there to do with kids…collecting leaves in the park and painting them white so the look like ghosts for halloween decorations etc.

If you have an active freecycle group, there are often loads of things on there given away as kids outgrow them.

Medicines…things like kiddie paracetmol, ibuprofen, hayfever meds and any 'every day' stuff can be got for free via the NHS minor ailment scheme if your area does it. Speak to you gp's recepionist. They should give you a form if I remember correctly (was a few years since I registered) which you take to the participating chemist. Then whenever you need something on the scheme you just ask at the chemist.
There is a service search on this link if you scroll down, you can see if your area does this…
http://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/Pharmacy/Pages/Commonconditions.aspx
Or ask at your docs of course.

I always double make my daughter's bed with a disposable bedmat (http://www.pampers.co.uk/pampers-bedmats) in between the bedsheets…
So, I make it like this: fitted sheet, bedmat,fitted sheet. Then if my daughter has an accident, I take off the wet sheet and the disposable mat and there is already a sheet in place so I can get her back into bed quickly. She is 8 now, so rarely has accidents at night, but they did happen when she was younger.
Hope that helps a bit.
Otherwise, just remember that once the little ones are here it doesn't matter if the house isn't spotless, or the washing up isn't done. Snuggles on the sofa whilst they are small is time better spent.