I may be lying in the gutter but I'm staring up at the stars.

KillPeppa

I've decided that it is finally time to get myself sorted and out of debt. I'm in my thirties and have just moved back home after graduating last year. My income is minimal and I need a firm shove in the rear to get sorted. I want to grow up, get my income sorted, improve my health, get my own place and start living my life rather than letting it float by.

I'm a chronic procrastinator and have some anxiety issues, I was diagnosed with bi-polar and then OCD but it was then decided that I do not suffer from either of these. It has been suggested that I have ADHD and I need to learn to structure my life within the bounds of the way I think. My mind is normally a chaotic mess, a million thoughts streaming around and competing for attention, the chaos tends to spill over into my life. There is I much going on that I get overwhelmed at times and tend to lock myself away, I also have a tendency to drink and smoke too much which is dreadful for me physically and mentally.

Being accountable helps so I have decided to start a diary I'll try and keep the mental chaos to a minimum and off the page :rotfl:.

Off to get a brew and check the debt figures so I know where I am.

KillPeppa

On to the debt figures, it wasn't as bad as I first thought!

Loan: £3800
Overdraft: £500

In addition I need:
£728 to meet my living costs/expenses to the end of April.
£70 car tax for the end of March
£500 for a new passport and 12 month visa.
£3000 towards a new home (agency fees deposit etc).

This means a total of £8598 to freedom :eek:. However, just saving/making this much isn't enough, I also need good habits and regular earnings so I can cover all my outgoings and not slip back into debt. It all seems like a mountain at the moment .

On a more positive note I weigh less than I thought, 11 stone 7lbs so nearly 2 stone to lose.

Just got to figure out how the hell I'm going to do this :cool:.

KillPeppa

OK, time to sort out goals, apparently they need to be specific so just saying sort out your life you loon isn't going to cut it :cool:.

This is an area where I struggle, I tend to think big, really big and go over the top. I then hide under my duvet and cry at the futility of it all. So I am trying to reign myself in and think achievable, I'll then break it down into mini goals and go from there.

I actually started and wrote a long list of goals before realising that they were the usual wooly lists with stuff like get fit. When I've been told again and again that is the wrong way to go about it. So new goal list:

• Pay off my debts.
• Consistently earn £1.5k monthly after tax/NI/SL.
• Reach my goal weight of 9 1/2 stone.
• Complete the couch to 5k.
• Stop drinking alcohol for 2 months.
• Quit smoking, goal achieved when I am 6 weeks smoke free.
• Declutter all my belongings.
• Complete my furniture renovations.
• Organise my tax records and set up a new spreadsheet and filing system for daily use.
• Set up a new account for tax etc. to be saved in.
• Close down old Barclaycard.
• Close down old NatWest account.
• [STRIKE]Find the charger for my camera [/STRIKE] :j
• Find my Ecig charger and set it up.
• Clean my car :rotfl:.

I know there are a few todo list style things on there but they've been hanging around so long they are a challenge and if I can get them ticked off quick that would be a big boost!

One area I don't know how to write a goal for is my mental health/self esteem. I can't think of anything concrete for that just yet :cool:. Any ideas would be gratefully received.

Gonna go and see if I can finally find that charger now .

skintygerlinky

Go for it Kill Peppa!! Hope you get some solid inspiration from this site. I think it's a great idea to start off with a smallish goal, really nail it and then move on to the next sized one, sort that and then on we go to the next.

Not only will you be starting to cross stuff off your list but you will also be starting to focus calmly on what lies ahead.

Have a good look around the forum, it will soon become obvious that you are not alone!! Lots of like-minded people around here.

Best of luck and keep posting

KillPeppa

Thank you *skinty* hopefully things are coming into focus a little.

I've decided on some concrete intermediate goals.

• Lose half a stone.
• Pay £1000 off the total.
• A week of Ecigs only.
• 2 weeks non drinking.
• Clear out my bedroom and workroom.

Breaking it down to goals for this week I shall:

• Complete the quick and easy goals.
• Get out of the house for a brisk walk every day.
• Drink a litre of water rather than just tea and diet coke
• Clear out my workroom.
• Start using my Ecig.
• Write 3 things I am grateful for everyday.

I had another long skype session with my ex and he thinks that when the day starts right for me I get things done. I'm not one that can mess around in the morning and then crack on as I already feel I have wasted my day. So I am going to focus on the easier more achievable tasks first thing and then I can turn my hand to other stuff in the afternoons. I've made a list of all the different tasks and projects (am sure I will add more) and starred those which are easily achievable and don't have the potential to go wrong. Hopefully this will work.

We also broke down some other quick goals. I.e. Cancelling Barclaycard. 1. Locate paperwork from giant box where it all got dumped. 2. Turn on PC and set up template etc. etc. hopefully breaking things down like this will help me achieve and move forward and if it does end up taking me an hour to find the paperwork it is still goal achieved and not a goal failure.

I have also misappropriated an egg timer from the kitchen and practised my look of wide eyed innocence for when its absence is noted :A.

Still can't find the *#+$ camera charger though, why can't they just use the widely available normal batteries anymore :mad:.

in_need_of_direction

I think the self esteem will come from achieving the smaller goals

KillPeppa

Thanks INOD, I hope so!

I've decided to start a list of reasons to pay off the debt, I can add to it as they occur and look back when I'm wavering.

• No more fear when the post comes or the phone rings.
• No more panic when a bill is higher than expected.
• No more frantically checking my account in the early hours of the morning and praying I won't go over limit.
• I will have the funds and freedom to travel more.
• I can do the activities I want to try.

That's 3 to start .

Just decided to add some more positive ones

KillPeppa

Well my first full day of debt busting has been pretty good, but, I did manage to spend £70 on beauty products :eek:. BUT, I have PCOS and I've suffered with my skin my whole life. Most of my beauty routine is pretty cheap but Alpha H and Pixi Glow Tonic finally allowed me to stop troweling on an inch of foundation so I could leave the house without scaring small children. People have noticed since I ran out last month (let's just say my Mum and Sisters can be rather blunt :cool: ). So today I was sent a link to a special offer for a large bottle of Alpha H and the cleanser and eye cream for £35 delivered, I checked ebay and can negate most of the cost by selling the cream and cleanser. Then I got a 20% discount for Pixi, I bought 3 bottles to get out of postage and then saved another tenner with the discount. It'll be 8 to 10 months before I run out of either so I think £5-£6 a month isn't bad for something that helps so much.

I didn't just jump in and order though, I actually sat down and figured out ebay earnings after fees etc, cost per month and decided it was a good deal:A. So there . I am now setting a spending ban for toiletries, I have everything I need to last me months except for shampoo and deodorant and my lovely (and forthright) Mum has offered to buy these for me when she does the weekly shop :T.

The rest of the day has been pretty good, I'm certainly not storming ahead at full speed but I've achieved more and feel I'm on the right track. Hopefully I can build on new habits day by day.

And I finally found that sodding charger, my Mum did some 'organising' [STRIKE]utter destruction of my finely honed 'it's on the floor somewhere' system[/STRIKE] of my workroom while I was away and had put my charger cable in the box clearly marked cables. How the hell she expected me to find it in there I have no idea .

debtfreeby30:S

:hello: KP!!

Just wanted to stop by and say hello - your diary name caught my eye as I remember liking the quote when I saw it on a tshirt a couple of years ago.

Looks like you're off to a good start, I love your lists - I live my life by lists and people make fun of me for it but I don't care as they help me keep focused and being able to cross things off a list just brightens up the day!!

Anyway, I wish you lots of luck with you DFD journey

AGirlWrites

Good luck KP! Loving the diary so far, my organisation system sounds exactly the same as yours, so when I do actually tidy my flat I can never find anything! Haha!

National_Debtline

Sounds like you're on the right track. Perhaps you can offer me some advice about where I might be able to find my camera charger!?