what will happen if I don't get a sick note?

victoriasterl

Hi,

My story is a long one but I'll try to keep it short for the purpose of my question.

Started working for a bookmakers five years ago, began gambling a year later and I am now a gambling addict with a problem that has slowly but surely destroyed my life.

I hit rock bottom, Thursday of last week when I received a letter stating my driving licence has been revoked due to not sending back my licence for 6 points to be applied after being caught driving with no insurance on my way to work... After I had gambled away my insurance money. I live with my parents in the middle of the countryside with no transport links what so ever and my workplace is 18 miles away. So getting to work has now become a major issue. No exaggeration the nearest bus stop is 3 miles away and it would be impossible for me to get home even if I walked the 3 miles as no service runs late enough to accommodate my needs.

I rang work and explained my licence has been revoked and I was doing everything in my power to get it reinstated ASAP. The DVLA informed me it can take up to three weeks but usually takes one.

At this point I really did feel helpless with everything. I decided enough was enough, the licence is just one of many issues I've dealt with that has stemmed from my gambling. I decided I needed to come clean to someone, anyone really. I've always been scared to admit my gambling problem through shame and embarrassment, but also in fear of where it leaves me in regards to working where I do and doing what I do, which is accept bets off customers over the telephone. I suffer from anxiety and so my fears of coming clean although may seem silly to most... overwhelms me.

I decided to tell my team leader at work via text, she rang me and although nice over the phone and saying all the need be's such as I'm here to talk etc, I feel no actual support has been given from work, and they are a very big industry leading company, again it might be my anxiety, but I feel like they are more concerned about when my licence will be be back so I can back to work ASAP and I've even convinced myself that they think I'm lying about my gambling addiction to excuse my licence being revoked and that's why they aren't too bothered about it.

I have been trying to get into the dr's and have finally managed to secure an appointment at 9am tomorrow. How it stands at the moment is I have been absent from work since Saturday, four days of which are working days.

Since coming clean with the team leader at work, I feel my fear and anxiety has increased ten fold. I am now scared about going into work because of fear everyone now knows my dirty little secret. She asked my permission to tell my supervisor the issue which I granted, she's married to a manager in another department and the way gossip flys around the office it will probably get out eventually. I know being in work I will be constantly paranoid of what people are thinking about me, if they know or don't know etc...

I plan on telling my Dr everything in regards to my job and my gambling problem, is it likely I will be able to obtain a sick note? I'm scared that I won't be taken seriously, which is always my issue hence why I end up dealing with my depression and anxiety on my own. I can tell you now, I will not be attending work sick note or no sick note as I just can't face it at this moment in time, but then where do that leave me?

I've tried for so long to overcome this on my own and I know two weeks sick off work isn't going to solve my problem. I have been constantly looking for other work, trying to sort it all out without having to actually tell anyone and that just hasn't worked.

Sorry if my post isn't very logical or if you need to ask me any further questions to understand in greater detail my position, please ask away I'll answer anything

duchy

It sounds like you are suffering from stress and there is no reason why the doctor wouldn't issue a sick note on that basis.

The sick note isn't your problem - the gambling is. What help are you getting with that ? You need to speak to people who can help you with that. I understand it is hard to talk to people about your addiction -but you'd be talking to people who have heard it all (and worse) before and whose job is to help you not judge you.

victoriasterl

Well that is what I am attending the Drs for, to seek help for my gambling problem. That is why I spoke to work about it, under the impression there would be some sort of duty of care in regards to working in a gambling industry, but that doesn't seem apparent. I don't feel like the office is currently the right environment for me at this moment in time. A large percentage of people in the office gamble, and work even have competitions during things such as Cheltenham where we are encouraged to participate in sweepstakes and such things for 'fun'. This for me would not be fun at all!

I have actually joined the gamcare forums and gamblers anonymous forums to seek help and advice from fellow gamblers whilst I wait to see my GP in regards to the matter. I've started an online diary to keep account of my feelings and urges to gamble, and so far I've got 2 days, which is a long time in the current cycle of gambling that I have been stuck in.

Like I said I've tried to keep this to a minimum in regards to my question just simply because I could write a 10,000 word essay on the trials and tribulations of the last few years of my life. I am well aware and not naive or oblivious to the fact that gambling is the problem I need to be focusing on, this is just a side enquiry about my work situation

tomtontom

Your GP can refer you for counselling, but they do not have a magic wand.

I don't see how you can continue working at a bookmakers. Is sickness the answer or would you be better to resign? How old is your child?

duchy

It's not really a side issue though is it - as all this anxiety and the insurance problem is caused by the basic problem. I know you are struggling but calling one of the help lines although scary should not only get you some support from someone who really understands but they will be able to advise you about the work situation too. I know it's easier to simply post on forums - but if now really is the time to change things - then actually speaking to someone is a massive step. Your GP will likely tell you to do the same as few GPs have the specialist knowledge to deal with gambling addiction but will probably offer a sick note and medication. Two days is good -get the support you need to make sure it's two weeks, two years and then forever !!

I know it's scary -but you need to remove the problem not just put a plaster over it. As for work....odds are the team leader will have spoken to the manager and there will be some kind of process- you won't be the first or the last employee of a bookmakers to get into this situation. If it's one of the big companies they may even have a counselling scheme themselves as part of their duty of care for their employees- again one of the gambling addiction helplines will likely know more about this. You've nothing to lose by picking up the phone.

victoriasterl

My daughter is 6 years old, I don't see how I could resign without being penalised in regards to entitlement to benefits then. Like I said I have been looking for other work for a while now, but to no avail. I am not in a position financially and neither are my parents where I can survive even 4-6 weeks with no money, they have their own struggles with my mum currently off work receiving SSP whilst she has cancer treatment.

I have discussed handing over my earnings to my mum for safe keeping, with her giving me money as and when needed. She isn't aware of my gambling but thinks I am just frivolous and careless with money and so wishes to help.

I really don't see resignation as a feasible option for me.

tomtontom

victoriasterl wrote: »

My daughter is 6 years old, I don't see how I could resign without being penalised in regards to entitlement to benefits then. Like I said I have been looking for other work for a while now, but to no avail. I am not in a position financially and neither are my parents where I can survive even 4-6 weeks with no money, they have their own struggles with my mum currently off work receiving SSP whilst she has cancer treatment.

I have discussed handing over my earnings to my mum for safe keeping, with her giving me money as and when needed. She isn't aware of my gambling but thinks I am just frivolous and careless with money and so wishes to help.

I really don't see resignation as a feasible option for me.

You can understand why your employer will struggle with the idea that you are 'sick'?

Your GP will no doubt give you a two week sick note, most will with little fuss. But what happens after two weeks, the problem will not have disappeared. Keep in mind that employers are far more likely to employ someone who a) is in employment and b) has not had excessive periods of sickness.

I don't know what the answer is, but going on the sick is going to do you no favours.

victoriasterl

tomtontom wrote: »

You can understand why your employer will struggle with the idea that you are 'sick'?

Your GP will no doubt give you a two week sick note, most will with little fuss. But what happens after two weeks, the problem will not have disappeared. Keep in mind that employers are far more likely to employ someone who a) is in employment and b) has not had excessive periods of sickness.

I don't know what the answer is, but going on the sick is going to do you no favours.

I'm sorry, but no I don't understand why my employer would struggle with the idea that I am in fact sick. Addiction is an illness. Yes I have managed to continue to work thus far, but with great impact on my well being. I sleep very little or all the time. I don't eat very much at all, then there's headaches IBS and outbreaks of eczema. I have not up until this pointed decided to seriously try and combat my problem, and so work hasn't been a problem because the gambling 'wasn't' a problem. Yes I have been looking for other work, but it was because I require something closer to home with better working hours, now my goalposts have changed with my realisation of how severe my problems are.

I am not simply going to my GP and asking for a sick note with the impression I'll have a couple of weeks off and everything will be hunky dory. I am seeking help and advice, a point in the right direction, a professional insight. I am trying my hardest to make the first steps to improving my life and combating this demon that's had me in its grips for four years.

I am not expecting a magical cure, or overnight success. I am well aware I have a very long and windy road ahead of me. I know I have to be motivated and WANT this and I do.

To be honest all the advice I have tried to get so far has disheartened me and made me feel a bit like I wish I had never told anyone in the first place. I feel foolish, ashamed and a lot of an idiot. I just feel so lost and as if I have no options.

Bantex_2

What actually happens of you go a day without gambling?

victoriasterl

Bantex wrote: »

What actually happens of you go a day without gambling?

I can see what you are getting at here, but if it was as simple as just not gambling, I wouldn't be gambling.

Nothing happens, in fact I am probably a much happier person when a day goes by without gambling.

Trust me. I know how stupid this all is. I know the bottom line of it all is simply, not to gamble. I really do wish it was that simple. I like to think I am a rather intelligent person, however when gambling is involved my thinking is irrational and illogical. Chasing losses, and losing even more to the point where there is nothing to lose.

I have had so many times of been awake all night in tears driving myself crazy thinking about how I'm going to manage to scrape together the petrol money I just spent, or writing and writing for hours about how I'm going to 'change' then a few days go by, and it all starts over again. I always tell myself I won't let it get this far ever again and I do, over and over and over again.

I_Can_Haz_Job?

firstly, self exclude from your company's website/shops and all other gambling sites. You can install software like Gamblock to help with this. Being self excluded shouldn't affect your ability to do your job so I wouldn't worry about this - it's also a good indicator that you're prepared to take action and sort yourself out. Have you an Employee Advice Line at work? Give them a ring and see if they can help you in any way - there's specific gambling related treatment available and - depending on where you're located - you could attend this. You've nipped things in the bud at the right point - there's countless stories out there of staff resorting to fraud due to gambling addiction and so taking action now shows you are taking control before things get worse. Work with your employers, keep them in the loop and they should support your recovery