SOA Help

debt_doctor

So why couldn't your parents offer an amount based on their ability to pay?
You are leaping around with lots of scenarios that are not helpful to you - getting in to a spin and thinking of jumping off bridges needs to give way to calming down and some logical thought.
So
Your parents have a debt.
You owe your parents.
You cannot pay either of the above or accumulate a lump sum to do it - put that firmly out of your mind.


IF you go ahead with BR then your parents will have the debt they have already got. Your parents could then, if in financial difficulty, do any of the normal things that any one else could do.


DD

[Deleted User]

michael1983l wrote: »

And no matter what the law says, they must realise that I have a family duty to prefer them to my other creditors.

The law doesn't realise anything of the sort.

michael1983l

debt_doctor wrote: »

So why couldn't your parents offer an amount based on their ability to pay?
Y

My parents credit rating is spotless and they have worked hard for years on close to minimum wage to gain what they have now. If I force them to pay my loan, it will mean that they cannot retire when they are supposed to and it would mean wreaking their credit file for my mistakes.

My dad is already suffering from depression because of his job and is retireing in 2 years. If I sprung this on them then he would have to continue working.

There is no way I could live with myself by doing that.

So I am not willing to budge on the paying of the £436 to my parents every month until the sum is paid. And I will do whatever it takes to fulfill that comitment and if that includes some drastic measures then so be it, but I will not allow them to be punished for my mistakes.

michael1983l

Bedsit_Bob wrote: »

Look at it from the position of the loan company.

Suppose you lent a friend £5,000 then, a few months later, the friend won the £20,000 Lotto raffle.

How would you feel, if you found out he had used the £20,000 to pay off four other friends, who had each loaned him £5,000?

My parents will miss £10,000, Barclays lose that amount down the back of a sofa. So its not really a fair comparison. I understand the logic and I see why the rules are how they are. But I think you can understand why I am trying to protect my parents. I am not doing it to try and diddle the creditors out of any monies owed. I am just not prepared to wreak anybody else's lives, like I have ruined my own and my ex wife and kids. I have done enough damage already.

[Deleted User]

michael1983l wrote: »

Surely I have a liability to the money that has traceably been transferred to my account from theirs?

Morally perhaps, but legally, probably not.

To enforce recovery, your parents would have to convince the Country Court, that the money was indeed and loan, rather than a gift.

Do they have a properly drawn up, signed and witnessed, loan agreement?

If not, then they have a something like 1 in a 1,000,000 chance of making you pay.

So I am liable for the money they transferred to my account right?

Only by way of a (non-enforcible) gentleman's agreement.

And they are liable for the loan they took to fund that transfer?

Yes.

michael1983l

Ok. I think after a lot of discussion and the fact that I am unable to change my approach on paying my parents (agree with that or not I ain't changing my mind for nobody). Then I am in a little bit of a position that I can do little about. I guess it is 20 more month of trying to dodge bailiffs and court proceedings which will keep my stress levels elevated for the time.

It might sound like the easy way out to some but it is anything but the easy way out. My life is a mess and I have no quality of life. I am paying for my mistakes in greater ways than in finance I can assure you.

[Deleted User]

michael1983l wrote: »

My parents will miss £10,000, Barclays lose that amount down the back of a sofa. So its not really a fair comparison.

It's an entirely fair comparison.

In a BR, each creditor gets a share of whatever money is available, depending on the amount they are owed.

But I think you can understand why I am trying to protect my parents.

Of course I can understand that you are trying to protect your parents, but that doesn't make it legally right.

I am not doing it to try and diddle the creditors out of any monies owed.

That is exactly what you you are doing!

If BRs were allowed to treat family members as preferential creditors, you would have people claiming all sorts of liabilities to family.

"I'm sorry Mr OR, but I have no assets, because I'm still paying my mum back the million pound she loaned me ten years ago"

FrugalLina

Michael, I have a son a wee bit younger than you and I know that I would rather have him alive WITH debt than to lose him, even if that left me in debt. Plus your kids need you too.

Looking at your other thread, I can see the debt you have is quite huge and suggest you go and see someone at Citizens Advice asap. They are fantastic, non-judgemental and will help you through the maze.

Believe me, you will feel tons better!

lilybankrupt

Would this work?

Let's say your SOA is agreed, with the amends suggested by Debt Doctor. This would mean you would not get an IPA and so we are just looking at a year of your finances being under the control of the OR.

Within the amounts, is there a way that you could really scrimp for 12 months and use the 'spare' cash to pay for stuff for your parents such as food and petrol? This would free up some of their income to enable them to meet the monthly loan payments.

As far as I know, how you actually spend the money agreed in an SOA is up to you.

In my view this falls into the 'bending a few rules' category, rather than the other options which are - as others have said - a bad idea.

I realise some will say that if you can save a few hundred a month from your SOA then your SOA is wrong, but I would see it that an SOA is about 'reasonable living'. If you could live for a year on 'bare minimum' then the difference could be used to help your parents.

Happy to be shot down by more experienced peeps, but just a thought.

michael1983l

Thanks lily that is an interesting proposition so I will wait to see what others think about the praticalities of it.