Very scared!

bubble_x

So a year ago i had to give up full time work to stay at home with my kids as my child care fell through and couldnt afford full time care- (i now work part time around my hubbys shifts)since then we have slowly racked up more debt we move a credit to a 0% interest then more debt racks up!! now are minimum payments are racking up and i am having to put food and petrol on our credit cards!! i have looked into a DMP and i am petrified! i spoke to one company who painted it as the answer but having done some more looking into it im now not so sure!! i dont know what to do!! i know that we could prob manage with out one but it would be a struggle and we would be working ourselfs to the bone- im so confused i hate myself for getting into this mess

WantToBeSE

Hiya bubble. Please don't hate yourself. You are most certainly NOT alone. Many many of us have been in a similar situation to you and this board is full of really helpful people who can give you great advice.

The first thing you need to do is to post up an SOA. This shows all of your income and expenditure.
This is where you will find the SOA: https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/562271

The more extensively you fill it out, the better advice people can give you, so take the time to do that.

I didn't do a DMP so cant advise on that, but lots of other people have, and I am sure they will help you out.

asparagus1968

morning, you are in the right place, there is so much good advice and support on the site.

do as suggested above and fill out the SOA. the more you share, the more help will be given. don't despair, there will be an answer!

runforlife

Well done for posting. It's really difficult to face up to your debts - I know, it took me many many months if not years. Firstly it's never too late and whatever problem you are in there is a resolution.

Firstly gather up all your statements and debt info and write it down. It is a bit scary but get yourself a cup of coffee or tea and take a deep breath. Make sure you write every debt down, everything - even the odd tenner owed to a friend. Once you've down that it will give you a clearer picture and rather oddly make you feel better.

Now you can grasp it and take action.

Good luck

McKneff

Why not do a Statement of Affairs and we can look at that and try to help where we can.


Before that, I must ask, do you really, really need a car. Its a money drain on any budget.

HOK3Y

You have been given all the advice I think you need right now. I just wanted to send you a cyber hug and tell you that it will work out. Take a deep breath and understand that this is the point where you start to put one foot in front of the other and you begin to move forwards. No more backward sliding. It is possible to claw out of any financial mess. There is always a solution.


Many people here have found themselves in horrible messes and I am sure you will find many in worse situations than yourself. So take heart - you are in the right place!

bubble_x

thank u everyone!! xxx im gonna have another look at what we can do without the dmp! our big loan finishes in 2 years and when that is out the way we can start really clearing the credit cards! unfortunatly we do need the cars as we both work and taxis, buses, trains or walking just arent possible with the shifts we work-
owning up to what debt we had was the biggest challenge and now i have done that i feel better!! i have a spending habit and now i have taken my head out of the sand i think i can beat this!! i have given my hubby the cards, i have come off selling sites and i am gonna ask myself do i really need this and think about how low i feel right now!! when i told him about everything (he knew about some debt) i was a mess- i honestly knew id let him down, and i thought he was gonna leave! i mean who wants to be put into this mess! but i am so lucky he has been amazing we sat down and i showed him everything and he wasnt angry! as a team i hope we can do this and get back on the straight and narrow!! im writing my budget, im swapping my shopping from asda to aldi and farm foods and im looking through the house to see what i can seel on ebay/bootsales! i know this is gonna be a long road but i can do this!!

HOK3Y

Best of luck, bubble. Have you thought about starting a diary here to keep you on track and get some support from others in the same position? x

matttye

Was the company that painted a DMP as the answer a fee paying one? If so avoid like the plague...debt charities will help you for free.

Good luck!

ladeeda

bubble_x

Do not be scared. No lender can shoot you, jail you or make you pregnant! You are taking control - that's a positive strong move. Which makes you a strong enough person to sort the debt. Follow the advice from these guys on here, there's a lot of wisdom & experience to draw from.

Madchickenlady

Bubble
Please don't hate yourself as others have said you are not alone and we have all been where you are now, I am in fact still where you are now as I only took my heas out of the sand a couple of weeks ago, I found this forum and I feel soooo much better for it.
People here have given me good honest advice about where I need to cut down so I am in the process of re-evaluating my finance and I know this sound wierd but apart from one set back I am actually enjoying myself, I do like a challenge and I am now continually looking for the cheaper deal, but now I am doing this I feel in control for the first time in a long time and you will too. Look at all the threads and you wil find there are lots of brilliant ideas on how to save money, good luck xx