I think I'm being bullied?

getmore4less

Part of the issue is it has gone on for some time so changing can be difficult.

Try to understand why they let it go on than can be a great help in directing the remedy.

Without knowing the exact personalities it is difficult but I think I would be pushing back and getting others to do the same.

If I knew the line mangers boss to chat to which you should do if you stood in for 2 periods of extended sickness I would think about a very blunt and to the point(sort of off the record when the chance come up).... look mate you know x is a bit of a**e this situation is getting out of control the company is suffering(selected list of thing that could improve the bottom line) you need to do something soon, give them a chance.

You have obviously done OK while standing in if the opportunity happens again make more of it or even suggest you are promoted so you share or split the job.

what about the
Show me how you would do it and I can document it so we can all do it that way next time, document and distribute with CC to line manager and their boss.

X has noticed we have been doing this wrong this is the recommended process.


Never easy and different things work in different workplaces

Ms_Chocaholic

I've been in exactly the same position; several years ago by a male manager, I was being bullied but didn't recognise it at the time and during discussions with the managers about it never raised the issue as bullying (as I didn't realise) and he got away with it.

He is no longer my boss luckily but his behaviour has impacted on my working life; I continue to feel on edge from time to time and if my current manager asks to speak to me I feel really anxious (even though she is lovely).

Are you in a Union. If not join one now.

Also make sure you keep a diary of everything that happens, even the smallest of things.

If I were in your shoes i wouldn't raise it with anyone just yet, otherwise it may be seen as tit for tat. I would keep a diary for a few weeks and when you have several instances of continued bullying I would report it then.

keyser666

As mentioned above record things but do this on a home computer and not in work or work time.

I would be inclined to put in a grievance but as mentioned not now as it would look tit for tat. I would also be wary of other colleagues who might not back you up for fear of what might happen to them in terms of things becoming worse etc for them and them not wanting to rock the boat. I would sound them out though

Why is it you think that they are not inclined to discipline, sack her?

Ms_Chocaholic

Could you surreptiously record her; not to use as evidence itself but to enable you to record exactly and accurately what was said.

samfan121

OP here.

So, we had the meeting today.

First I had my monthly one to one with my line manager (having done more work over the weekend so that anything she could possibly pick on was covered, whether it was due yet or not) and that went surprisingly well. She listened, she was friendly. I have no idea why because I could only think about the meeting with her boss that was to come immediately after this meeting.

Anyway, it got closer and closer to the time we should head to her boss's office and she still kept talking. Then her boss phone her to see where we were - I saw the name come up on the mobile. Line manager ignored it. We ended up over 5 mins later for her boss who told line manager he had somewhere else to be and had been calling to see where we were. How ironic.

Big boss addressed me after that. Didn't acknowledge line manager and didn't invite her to comment. He was friendly, fair and reasonable, saying this meeting was simply about my arrival time, nothing else, he was pleased with my work, but Line Manager had brought up my often late arrival and while I was not alone by any means he must insist everyone start by nine to give a good lead to junior staff who could be disciplined if they were to follow my lead. There were no problems if I had a genuine issue like severe traffic, a Drs appt etc, but in general I should be there on time and he hoped I understood.

I looked over at my line Manager and she was smirking. I have no idea why because I thought it was going well, I wasn't being yelled at which I assume she had hoped I would be.

I addressed big boss and said I admitted I was often a few minutes late but I hadn't realized it was that serious an issue because I wasn't client facing, got my work done and made up the time. However, I took on board what he was saying, could see it was indeed an issue and had actually been self monitoring for the past 10 days anyway. I had been 10 minutes late the first day, 5 minutes the next, and on time since then so I felt I could continue to keep the problem solved.

I offered to show them my spreadsheet but Big Boss said no need, he trusted me.

That was the end of the meeting. No talk of monitoring, reports, formal warnings etc. Nothing was put in writing. I don't know why my boss felt that would happen. I think it actually made her look a bit stupid and like she couldn't deal with it herself.

I avoided her when we came out, but just before the end of the day she came in and sat at the guest chair by my desk and asked me how my weekend was, told me about hers. She was very chummy and the other person in my office was looking totally bemused. After line manager left she said she thought she was nuts.

Was this her way of making friends again. Or was it her showing a weird form of favor now that I'd toed the line?

Either way, I don't think she achieved anything by reporting me and she made herself look worse if anything.

But I will certainly be recording things from now on