Questions for the vicar

PRINCESSX87

Hi,

We’re meeting the vicar on Saturday. I’m sitting here wracking my brains on what questions to ask about marrying us. Problem is….I have nothing…..What would be on your list of questions Ladies & Gents?

Tia x

LEJC

your vicar will if he's like ours was guide you through what happens in the ceremony and probably if you dont know aboutthe costs etc give you a breakdown on those too.


Things we asked the vicar included
If there was another wedding on the same day...thankfully there wasnt but apparently the cost of church flowers could be discussed with the other B & G if necessary


Does the church allow confetti....some do some dont even if its the bio degradable or natural


what are the churches views on photos inside the church...and indeed what are your views on someone taking pics of you exchanging vows.
Some churches allow it...some dont and some couples like to ask the vicar to "remind" guests that the use of mobiles to take photos and post on facebook before the service is over is discouraged.


Similarly if you want a video or recording of the event some churches charge extra for this and its worth checking how much any extras might cost you


Are you required to attend church or marrige preparation classes prior to the wedding.


I'm sure there must be lots of other questions but thats a start for you hopefully!

jackieblack

LEJC wrote: »

some couples like to ask the vicar to "remind" guests that the use of mobiles to take photos and post on facebook before the service is over is discouraged.

Oh dear

DigForVictory

If vicar not pro-Facebook/live tweets etc (some think it is a House of God & a special moment to reflect as you make binding Vows etc) will the vicar do a photo op with bride & groom so guests can post pictures immediately after service?!
(Most of them have a sense of humour - work with them!)

Music:
Has the church bells, bellringers & what are the rates?
Choir, availability of same in case relatives can't wheeze through hymns?
Permission to play any Special music over church audio (song with special meanting to you both?
Availability of/recommendation for a church organ/organist?

The polite debate over Obey - where does vicar stand on this? (Note, useful clue as to where sense of humour located.)

tillyenna

@DigForVictory - actually the word 'Obey' is not IN the standard wedding vows anymore, for ANY church - luckily my minister is kind enough to let me put it back in :-D





@OP it's worth asking whether you can edit the vows, some vicars/ministers do, so may let you add to them, but not remove things.

It's worth finding out what type of church you are going to and whether minister/father/vicar/priest is the correct term for the person you will be seeing

Confetti and Photographers and how they are on this


Flowers - whether you have to sort it, or whether they have a flower team that would be willing to take a contribution in exchange for matching your scheme (note, if you get married during lent, you don't get flowers)


Whether they want biblical readings, or whether they are OK with just some poems or book readings (if you don't want bible readings) and if you DO want bible readings if they have any that go with a set 'wedding' sermon they do

Dependant on the type of church you may be able to ask for a copy of the service, I'm Methodist, so the sermon is printed in full with all vows and structure in the Methodist Worship Book, it's been really good having a copy of that so we know what to prep for

Ask about format of the service, how flexible they are, how many hymns/readings they suggest (and if you don't have strong preferences) if they have any suggestions on hymns/readings




What marriage classes they would like to do with you and your other half, and whether they have any recommending reading on being a good married couple. Also, if it's not a CofE church, find out where your Bans will be read




Probably a load of other stuff I've forgotten about too! Good luck though I'm sure it will be fine. Write a list to take to the meeting - that's what I did

minerva_windsong

I'm guessing it's a CofE church because you said 'vicar'. If it's not, then just to be aware you'll need to give notice at your local registry office as well as having your bans read.