New, skint member who is on a mission!

Rebus81

I am a new member on MSE and this is the start of my diary. I am skint, stressed but confident that I can claw my way out of this hole that I've been digging for the past 4 years. I'll start with a brief background of myself:

Since I have started to earn my own money, which is when I started working at the age of 16 (I'm 32 now!), I have struggled with money and never really had any savings or assets. I have been in debt and got out of it more than once before but this time I am in deeper than ever before (current debt is about £10,000 ). I've had a couple of opportunities to really excel financially but due to my attitude of 'live for the moment', I have dwindled this away on junk over the years and don't really have anything to show for it. At one point I made just over £50,000 profit from a house sale but after splitting this with my now ex-partner and spending the difference on rent to live in a city centre apartment, including buying loads of clothes, nights out etc, I was left with nothing. This is one of the biggest regrets of my life but the positive I can take from it is that I was only 21 years old and know that I wouldn't do the same if given the opportunity again.

My debts mainly consist of the dreaded pay day loans, which I just can't seem to shift. I think that is mainly because I'm paying drips and drabs as and when I can as opposed to having a focused plan that I'm committed to. I have a really old CC debt of nearly £2k, which I really need to see the back of this year!

I'm aiming to get married in 2015 with my OH of 4 years, so I really want to be debt free by then and know that I can if I put my mind and heart into it. It's really not fair on her to be held back due to my poor money management! I earn over £2k a month but have large outgoings, especially with the car and the fuel to commute to work. However, I still spend too much and like the odd flutter, which I'm desparate to knock on the head as it's started getting a bit silly recently. I have had my head firmly rammed in the sand over the past few years by ignoring the debts, ignoring phone calls, letters etc and also spending money at the weekend to go out or get drink in the house just so I can 'switch off' for a bit. I had my LBM this week and know that I've been doing everything wrong. I just think of the nice times ahead once I've paid all my debt back and have my own money to myself again without feeling sick when I spend it. I can't fully start with the budget etc until I get paid again, which is on 24th Jan.

My diary will be me documenting the ups and downs (I'm assuming there will be many - although more ups hopefully!) of my journey trying to clear my debt. I'll be honest with where my money has gone, I'll budget plan and highlight if I have overspent, I'll celebrate when I have a NSD and I'll keep a running total of my debt. I hope that there are people out there who can relate to my situation and find comfort that they're not the only one. I hope that my diary can inspire people to join me in the quest to be debt free and I hope that my diary will attract those who have been or are going through this to offer me support and guidance. I'm going to need it! I want to be able to get into bed at night and be able to fall asleep soundly without the same old thought spinning around my head. I want to be able to treat my Son more, who deserves every penny I earn.

Anyway, that's enough for now! Sorry to bore you all but I truly believe that if I document my situation and progress then it will help in my quest!

Until tomorrow....

Rebus81

Hello diary....sorry it's been a while since my first post. I did write up quite a lengthy entry on Friday but unfortunately when I went to submit it, I had been logged out! I know many of you were probably dissapointed not to see my latest post and have been sat with bated breath ever since I joined the forum! ;-)

Anyway, I'm back now and will commit more time to documenting my spending habits and hopefully some saving habits too! I've had a good few days moneywise and not spending too much, although I did spent a bit more than I wanted to on Saturday night in the local boozer! However, someone must be looking down on me as I've been really struggling this month with money and have even had to rely on the mother in law to help me out as I had no money for petrol, food or my Son's birthday present. The ultimate luck (albeit to someone elses misfortune, which I feel bad about) came to me on Saturday afternoon when I was out walking (nothing clears the mind like a brisk walk!) and I stumbled across a wallet with absolutely nothing other that money inside. There is no way I can trace the owner either as usually there are cards or something inside but to my amazement it was ID-free. I have found wallets in the past with ID inside and handed them back with the full contents and I have even been on the receiving end of someone returning mine, so I know how it feels. I'm just going to have to take this occurance as a lucky break. However, when I get paid next Friday, I will buy extra food for the foodbank from my budget.

As everyone probably has since January 1st, I have vowed to lose weight and get fit in 2014. I'm not unhealthy or fat but could lose a stone or two. I do a lot of walking, cycling and the occasional run so it shouldn't be too much of a shock to the system! I've entered a competition in the office, which cost £10 (tut-tut!) but if I get in the top 3 then I can win some money back! It's also a good way to keep me motivated! Currently had 3 gym sessions in 5 days so it's going well! I think to be fit and healthy is a good way to think clearer and helps me make better decisions, especially around money. I spend a lot when I'm feeling bored or depressed so if I can focus on something more productive then it's a good start to be on my way to being debt free!

Right, I'll draw a close to this post but so far today it has been a NSD, however, it is only quarter to 10 in the morning! Really excited about pay day when I can budget!

Below is a brief summary of my outstanding debt:

Total Debt: £10,653
Unsecured Loans: £7560.94
Utilities: £130
Credit Cards: £1874.06
Mother in law: £200
Friends:£338
Pawnbrokers: £240
Misc: £310

Rebus81

One week today and it will be pay day!!!! :j Christmas is usually an ok month as I get my bonus pay but unfortunately it's not being paid until the end of Jan this year. It's been a tough 4 weeks but have £80 left and can definitely get to next Friday without stressing! I should feel good about this but unfortunately, I owe a LOT out so won't have much left at all by the times I've repaid everyone. As soon as my money clears I'm going to withdraw all my budget allowances and get them in their envelopes - where they will remain until required! I promise!! I can't have another year of spending all my money after week 1 and then pawning everything or borrowing for the next 3!

I know I said in my original post that I would cut down on the gambling, which I believe I have since the turn of the year, however I did have a couple of horse bets yesterday (£7.50 in total) and won £54! I know I shouldn't have risked £7.50 of my own money as this will be needed for car juice next month but felt that I could survive even if I lost it! Totally the wrong way to think I know! Someone is definitely looking down on me this week though as God knows where I would have got money from if I wouldn't have had two fortunate events.

Spending has been going well though to be honest and not spent much at all this week, although I've not had one NSD. Already spent money on Breakfast today but I've deserved it as I've done really well on the weight loss challenge!

Have a good, spend-free weekend!

Rebus81

Can't wait to update my Friday so I can reduce the balances on my signature!!:j

Rebus81

A really good start to the week as I have actually only spent 89p on a bottle of milk!! :-) To some that might not be too great but it's as close to a NSD as I've been! I didn't even go and place a bet on the footy tonight and resisted the temptation! Very proud of myself! I have also clocked up 13k walking and running...if only I could spend every day like this!

I can definitely feel a change since my LBM and have again today talked my OH out of us going for a meal out after work! She would pay (or at least add it to the IOU!) but I just don't want to spend money at the supermarket, only to leave it in the fridge whilst we eat out! 2 meals out and a couple of beers is not far off the weekly shop budget!! It's crazy when you think about it! She's going to think I'm well miserable since my LBM but she'll certainly see the benefits by the end of the year!

Anyway - best get to bed to end the day on a high!

Until tomorrow.......:j

wantabetterlife

Your doing great Rebus...I also cant wait until payday, it has been a very long month!!!

Rebus81

Well a day off work today to pack the house up ready for the move in a week. Unfortunately, I always tend to spend more money when I'm out of the office! I spent £10 on fuel, £1 on bread (which is bad considering I'm trying to do well in this weight-loss comp!), £2 on scratchcard (scummy I know! ), £3 on a meal deal but I did redeem £2.50 of Nectar points! and I unfortunately also spent £15 on footy and horse bets, which I just can't afford to lose! I'm so cross with myself. :mad:

Had a productive day though and the diet did go well (after the bacon and white bread brekkie!!!). Big weigh in tomorrow so will see if my exercise from last night paid off! Back to work tomorrow and have enough left for petrol until pay day. I have food in so making it to Friday won't be a problem! I promise I'll be better and stronger willed from Friday onwards!

Until tomorrow....

Rebus81

Dear Diary - sorry for neglecting you yesterday but I was very busy in the office and then even busier when I got home! On a positive note though, I only spent £1 on some tomatoes, which is ace! :T I think today may officially be a NSD as I have 25p until pay day tomorrow! This will be a huge achievement but I can just see my OH saying we should go out for tea tonight as it's pay day tomorrow. As always, she'll sub it until tomorrow but I need to stay strong and eat what I have in and also get my wheezy body out running! Incidentally, I'm in the weigh in yesterday I'm the same as last week but in the morning I was 3lb down so I think that's not too bad! I've not gained which is good!!

Tomorrow is going to be ace when I get paid as my budget plan will kick in! I never thought I'd be excited about not spending and paying off some debt! I do think my light bulb is staying on for good! :j

Hope you all have a good, spend-free day!!

Rebus81

Hello diary...I've been looking forward to writing to you again! The last time I created an entry, I was in debt by £10,653, which to be honest made me feel sick every single day. I couldn't see a way out, even though I earn a good wage! My problem was that I couldn't bring myself to tell my Fianc!e of the problems I had got my self into with Pay Day loans. Anyone who is reading this will know that having debt is not easy to talk about, even to the closest of friends/family. It's embarrassing to be in such a position and you know that as soon as you admit it and say it out loud then you have to actually deal with it!

Well......I'm pleased to say.......I actually faced up to it all, grew up and had a serious chat with her and she was amazing about it! Obviously, there were tears, arguments and concerns at the start but then the understanding kicked in and we were able to resolve it. We have been saving up so we have used that to clear my debt and as of 12:15pm yesterday afternoon, I became completely debt free!!!!!!! This morning was the first time I have woken up in God knows how many years without owing any money! I can't tell you how that feels! I'm still a bit numb about it all! This problem has hung over me for far too long and it has dominated every minute of everyday. It's all I have been able to think about! Now that I have a clear mind, I just don't know what to think about any more!

I'm extremely excited about my future now and looking forward to enjoying all the real things in life. I'm looking forward to devoting my time to my friends and family instead of worrying about all my issues. I only wish I would have faced up to it a lot sooner but like I said earlier, this isn't an easy thing to talk about.

The journey I have been on over the past few years has been nothing short of horrible. However, I have learnt a valuable lesson and will never seek help from a pay day lender again. I never borrowed for my own greed, it was always survival, but I'm sure honesty would have been a better option for me.

Anyway, I wish everyone on here well and hope that you can all be debt free in the very near future - I'm sure you will. It takes will, determination, character....and in some cases - honesty!

DawnW

Congratulations on becoming debt free

All the best for the future xx

Rebus81

DawnW wrote: »

Congratulations on becoming debt free

All the best for the future xx

Thank you Dawn!!! Really appreciate it! All the best to you too! :T