New to CSA .. any advice would be greatly appreciated

ryanmcn

Hi guys. I'm not too sure if this is the right area to post this but I'm not sure where else would be helpful.

Last week my ex decided that she would no longer let me see my 2 kids unless she recieved more money from me.

Previously we had a mutual agreement where I paid her £240 for my kids.. cash in hand.. every month. Apparently this is no longer good enough.

At the heart of all of this its my children who are being punished as they love staying here with me. I get the kids once a week for 24 hours. They stay overnight.

I work at the minute earning minimum wage for 40 hrs per week. Currently after tax I take home around 950 per month.

The reason for my ex's sudden change of heart is she had another child to a lad a year ago. Since then I have found he lost his job and she kicked him out. I feel like she is now expecting me to make up the loss of money he would have paid for her.

I have decided to go to CSA and legally pay for my children so there will be no more demands for more. I am also going to a solicitor (which is going to hurt me financially) to gain access rights for my kids. Currently with my rent and groceries I am scraping by.

Can anyone offer advice as to what kind of process I am looking at? I feel alot of anger towards my ex at the minute. All I want to do is see my kids and provide for them.. but I feel blackmailed. My decision to go to CSA stems from the fact that she feels she can demand more money from me because her new boyfriend is'nt around anymore.

I have never missed a payment to her and I have some txts that show dates that she was paid. I have no documentation to prove what I have been paying. To be honest, paying anymore than I am now would seriously hurt me but I know I have to provide for my children and I want to.. however I also want to be a part of their lives. They really enjoy being here and I dont want that taken away from them or me.

themull1

I think that the CSA charge now, so take that into consideration, how old are your kids?

ryanmcn

Hi. Thanks for the reply.

My daughter is 6 and my son is 3.

Vikipollard

You need to get an accurate figure for what you should pay. It used to be 20% for two children. Which is unlikely to equate to £240/month let alone more.


I say this simply because my OH voluntarily agreed to pay £650 to his ex (half his then take home pay). We lived a soup and beans lifestyle and she was having leather suites and home improvements done. He dropped it to £300/month and she involved the CSA, who stated he should be paying £254/month in total.


Could the CAB help with some free advice?

Mojisola

ryanmcn wrote: »

Last week my ex decided that she would no longer let me see my 2 kids unless she recieved more money from me.

Your ex needs to be told that children aren't "pay for view".

CM and contact time are completely separate things, although that doesn't stop some resident parents trying to manipulate the situation.

Check what you're legally obliged to pay -
https://www.gov.uk/calculate-your-child-maintenance

Go onto the forums for separated fathers and learn from other people's experiences.

DUTR

ryanmcn wrote: »

Hi guys. I'm not too sure if this is the right area to post this but I'm not sure where else would be helpful.

Last week my ex decided that she would no longer let me see my 2 kids unless she recieved more money from me.

Previously we had a mutual agreement where I paid her £240 for my kids.. cash in hand.. every month. Apparently this is no longer good enough.

At the heart of all of this its my children who are being punished as they love staying here with me. I get the kids once a week for 24 hours. They stay overnight.

I work at the minute earning minimum wage for 40 hrs per week. Currently after tax I take home around 950 per month.

The reason for my ex's sudden change of heart is she had another child to a lad a year ago. Since then I have found he lost his job and she kicked him out. I feel like she is now expecting me to make up the loss of money he would have paid for her.

I have decided to go to CSA and legally pay for my children so there will be no more demands for more. I am also going to a solicitor (which is going to hurt me financially) to gain access rights for my kids. Currently with my rent and groceries I am scraping by.

Can anyone offer advice as to what kind of process I am looking at? I feel alot of anger towards my ex at the minute. All I want to do is see my kids and provide for them.. but I feel blackmailed. My decision to go to CSA stems from the fact that she feels she can demand more money from me because her new boyfriend is'nt around anymore.

I have never missed a payment to her and I have some txts that show dates that she was paid. I have no documentation to prove what I have been paying. To be honest, paying anymore than I am now would seriously hurt me but I know I have to provide for my children and I want to.. however I also want to be a part of their lives. They really enjoy being here and I dont want that taken away from them or me.

As other have stated 20% net for two children, about £190 a month max less the overnights.
Don't be wasting money on a solicitor, you can make an access request via the courts yourself, just over £200, they will order a cafcass report and unless you are a severe danger to the children, then you will get access , the courts don't mess about nowadays.
Good Luck.

ryanmcn

Thanks for the responses guys. Its much appreciated and puts the mind at ease, even though it has drove me to distraction this weekend not seeing them.

In regards to DUTR's last post, do you have any idea how long the court procedure and report gathering takes?

Many thanks again for all the replies.

DUTR

ryanmcn wrote: »

Thanks for the responses guys. Its much appreciated and puts the mind at ease, even though it has drove me to distraction this weekend not seeing them.

In regards to DUTR's last post, do you have any idea how long the court procedure and report gathering takes?

Many thanks again for all the replies.

My friend (female) just went through this, she was worried that the dad had a solicitor and she didn't , she paid I think £214, think IIRC started in about August and and all sorted with contact weekly in December and a review to follow in February, I think there were 3 court visits and 2 cafcass meetings. The courts have a very dim view of those denying contact and they don't stand for any he said she said, they deal on facts, and cafcass agents have heard all the sorry excuses, my mate went through similar with his ex's and it was resolved in his favour.
Good Luck.

mum2one

Your better going though the CSA for an assesment.

As for contact i wouldn't use a solicitor as it is sky high prices, and the work can be done yourself, your in a position that you did have contact so already your in a stronger position.

Basically your fill in a court form asking why you want access, I would fill in the answers a few times on paper then you can adjust your answers by that I mean leave out the emotional aspects eg she stopped me seeing my kids because of cash, basically the courts aren't interested in any financial arrangements.

it may be that you are offered mediation first (you need to go through that) if things dont get sorted from there then the court process will start.

Generally the court will read your statement - ie i had the kids for x hours a week, regular arrangement until xx when XX changed the process.

the courts will then involve caffcass - they will interview you both seperataly and interview the children, for my daughters 1st assesment with cafcass she was seen at school, (she was 8 then) and they build a repor and bring all the reports together and make judgements accordingly. It is rare for a court to go against cafcass reports.

It may well be once the threat of court action is enough for your ex to back down.

Hope you get to see the kids again soon xx

Mojisola

Make sure that the school knows you want to be kept informed about everything to do with school - the school should send you newsletters, information about trips and contact you as well as the mother if there are any concerns about your child.

Lieja

You can definitely do this without a solicitor OP, since the cuts to legal aid for contact cases the courts are used to parents representing themselves. My OH was in a similar position to yourself and he represented himself against his ex's barrister. He found the process very fair and he was granted regular contact including weekly overnights despite a lot of malicious lies from his ex.

If your ex sticks to her guns and you have to wait out the process it will no doubt feel like an age, but just try to concentrate on the end result and it'll be worth it. Like other posters have said, it shouldn't take too long for a simple access case.

Good advice about the school too - if you have parental responsibility then the school must keep you informed of everything, although this has been a running battle for my OH. It's actually been more of a struggle to get the school to keep in contact than it has to sort things with his ex!