E? win £1000 for submitting your best joke.

furndire

http://www.1054centuryfm.com//Article.asp?id=425009

at the bottom of the page

WIN


If that's not enough here at Century FM we are giving you the chance to win £1,000 just by submitting your best joke. So what you waiting for click here to submit your best joke for your chance to be a £1000 richer.

smaisey

I entered:

How does King Wenceslas like his Pizzas?
Deep pan, crisp & even

Tee hee

Eupho

I'm not sure mine was allowed.. but it cracks me up every time.. (and I did send it)


A woman is standing on the Bridge at Niagara Falls about to throw herself off, When along comes a sailor.

He asks her why she is about to jump. She tells him she has had enough of her life, and that she had decided to end it all.

The Sailor says 'My boat is sailing again tonight, why not come with me, get away from it all and have a fresh start?'

The woman agrees, and that night the sailor smugglers her onto the boat.

For three weeks the woman stows away in the life raft of the boat, and each night the sailor brings her food after which they make love.

One night the Captain of the ship is doing an inspection, he checks the life raft and finds the stow away woman.

' What are you doing here?' he says..

The woman replies and tells him her tale of wanting to end her life and meeting the sailor that saved her.

She says ' Each night he brings me food, and is screwing me'

' He certainly IS Madam.. This is the *Maid of the mist!!*









(just incase you don't know, The Maid of the mist is a boat that does the rides under Niagara Falls.. it doesnt go anywhere but up and down)

furndire

Its funny when you've explained it.

smaisey

If you have to explain a joke, it's not funny

emma_leigh

Well mine was a bit X-Rated too!! So dont know whether they will allow it but I thought it was funny!

A northern lady goes up to a man in the street and says: "Have you got the time on ya c*ck?"
The man was shocked and replied: "No I havent, I wear it on my wrist like everyone else!" :rotfl:

Eupho

smaisey wrote: »

If you have to explain a joke, it's not funny

I agree, but I got it the first time because Ive been on it

ermmm I wasnt THAT girl btw :rotfl:

mpython

Do bears Poop in the woods?

A bear in the woods comes out into a grassy clearing to have a poop. Midway through, he notices a rabbit is having apoop as well just next to him.

The bear asks the rabbit, "Excuse me, I hope you don't mind me being so inquisitive, but does the poo stick to your fur when you go to the toilet?"

The rabbit thinks for a minute and says "No, never had any problems like that."

The bear says, "O that is handy, you're a very lucky fellow."

The bear finishes his poop, picks up the rabbit & wipes his bottom with him, drops him on the ground and trots off back into the wood.

Eupho

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Xercsees

Here was my one...maybe too risque too

A man meets a woman at a bar and they go to her place. They're undressing and he drops his trousers. She points to his messed up knees and asks what happened. He says 'when I was young I contracted kneesles'. She says 'you mean measles'. He says 'no, I actually got kneesles'. She shrugs and continues undressing. When he removes his socks she looks at his sorry toes and asks about them. He says 'shortly after the kneesles, I contracted toelio'. She says 'you mean polio?'. He says 'no, I got toelio'. She shrugs it off, until he drops his shorts. She looks again and says 'don't tell me - smallcox?'

Xercsees

Do you actually win a £1000 or is it just a break and spending money worth £1000


Terms & Conditions
All auditionees must be over 18 - judges decision is final.
Travel expenses and hotel accommodations to the final in London will be paid by Nicotinell.
The overall winner’s prize is a two night stay for two in Edinburgh plus £150 spending money, winner must be over 18 - judges decision is final.
Promoter: Novartis Consumer Health UK Ltd, Wimblehurst Road, Horsham, West Sussex, RH12 5AB.
Nicotinell® ‘Lose the Smoke, Keep the Fire’ and Nicotinell TTS 30 are registered trademarks of Novartis AG.