How long do I have to pay maintainance for

parkside_stroller

Hi everyone.

I have a voluntary arrangement with my ex - never any CSA involvement or court orders.

My son will be 17 this year and will go into 6th year at High school (final possible year at school).

His mum wants him to go back to school and I believe it is the wrong move for him - he has a track record of underachievement at school.

He doesn't want to go back to school - he has a low paid job lined up and has taken careers advice on college courses for next year or year after. He thought he might work full time and go to college once a week to top up qualifications but now feels he has to go back to school as his mum has said she will take most of his earnings in digs money.

I am trying to decide if I should continue maintainance payments - in many ways I would rather put the cash aside to help him through college or in future university. I think the current situation is allowing her to force him into a corner but I will happily continue if he starts to show some signs of improvement at school.

We live in Scotland (might be relevant to some aspects of child maintainance in that kids can seek maintainance on their own behalf).

I need to know if she would be entitled to contest the maintainance payments if I stopped them - could she still get the CSA involved at this stage and how long does it take to do this?

Does anybody have anything else to add that might be helpful or worth thinking about?

His mother collects child benefit (she has a second son with current husband who is on DLA and still under 10 years old) and I'm wondering if she is thinking about the loss of that as well as maintainance so wants him at school (on top her her natural concerns that he should try to maximise his educational qualifications).
How much would she lose in child benefit per week/month?

Could she still get child benefit over the summer if he told the school he intends to go back but then changes his mind in August?

ben500

I'd like to offer some help but up in the coldies it's all different than down here in Wales.
I'd say you have something of a predicament in that if he goes back to school against his will then he will be resentful and most likely neglect his studies further, it will also probably develop into friction between him and his mother. Given the info you have provided I'd say on balance you are looking at things calmly and accepting that not all our kids are geniouses or even motivated by the same things.
I'd hazard a guess that right now your boy is going through the "Kevin" stage also with hormones eating his brain alive! Is it not possible to reason with his mum, perhaps make a 50% contribution for his first year of work if it is within your means, this would buffer her loss and leave her in a position to accept that her son is doing his own thing and becoming independant, that he will have an extra 12mths in which to establish a better earning capacity and contribute more to the household budget when your payments stop. If you can alleviate the financial loss she may just be able to be more reasonable about her son's capabilities and wishes, it might just tip the balance for you, at least that way everybody get's a little of what they want if you see what I mean.

NAR

Child Support is payable until the child's 19th birthday or when child benefit ceases to be paid, whichever happens first. Child Benefit will normally cease in the September after second level education has ceased.

TheWaltons_3

NAR wrote: »

Child Support is payable until the child's 19th birthday or when child benefit ceases to be paid, whichever happens first. Child Benefit will normally cease in the September after second level education has ceased.

This is only if they carry on into college though isn't it?

I thought it stopped at 16 unless the child furthered their education?

parkside_stroller

Yes some good points there.

I have given more money in the past when circumstances dictated that she needed it so I wouldn't be against continuing paying something.

I think he is at a low ebb just now with friends leaving school and some other stuff that has had an impact on him this week.
I put this to him and asked him to take this into consideration when deciding.

He took a day off school yesterday to go to a Careers advice centre and came back with some stuff that encouraged him and he said he had plans to seek out further information before deciding exactly what he would do.

He stays at my place at least twice a week but it can be as much as four times so I'm questioning all aspects of our arrangement at the moment.
I thought this might have some impact on how much money she could get anyway if she was able to get the CSA involved.

I want to support him in getting on in life but I don't think that my ex (who was very academic as a teenager) has got this one right and I'd rather see his energies spent elsewhere - i.e. somewhere more productive.
My son has a strong work ethic and he has been showing this a lot recently in doing some fairly hard work for our friends and neighbours - I'd rather encourage him to get some real life work experience then decide what he wants to do with his life rather than waste a year at school with me helping to pay for that wasted year.

The thing is he normally likes school but he just doesn't do any better than average in most things academic and just does the bare minimum in homework. A few weeks ago he wanted to do next year at school but I think the reality of it has not descended on him.

He is very like me in my behaviour at his age so I believe I am seeing something of myself in him that suggests he will be successful if he doesn't feel constrained.
I left school having achieved less than I was capable of but I went back to college part time,eventually managed to find a job (high unemployment then) and then I got into a training course on the back of that. I now have a decent job and I went back to University to get a degree so I know that people like me (and probably my son) can get there in the end.

His mum feels he is giving up too easily and never tries hard enough - she seems to think this year will be different to previous years and I disagree. At the same time I wouldn't question that she wants what she feels is best for him.

I'm starting to feel as depressed about this as my son looks (he was at school today) and is saying that he won't leave school yet as mum will lose money. I can't help but feel she needs to cut the apron strings here.

Anyone else any further thoughts on the financial things - I think the majority of the Child Support stuff is the same as in other parts of the UK - it's probably just the fact children can claim on their own behalf that is different here?

ben500

If it's the same as down here then it is as long as the child is in full time education, that being said as far as I am aware the csa are not taking on any new cases, the new process being to encourage mediation between the two parties and only intervene if that fails.
I really think though that as you only know the amount currently being paid your the only one in the position to calculate whether or not an enforcement would be beneficial.

I get the impression from your op that your ex has a complcated life and limited funds, if I am right then this will obviously be a worry for her if he leaves school and she suffers financial loss, I'm not saying she is necessarily being mercinary just that it will be a consideration for her even if only subcontiously, if you can eliminate or diminish that aspect of the debate then she may be more likely to be able to consider both your son's and your own points of view on education and employment, perhaps even suggest to your ex that if he can get and hold down a full time position for the summer break all can review how they feel about the situation prior to school returning, and a final decision made then, at least that way you keep the options open and have opportunity to discuss regularly before anything is set in stone.

parkside_stroller

Ben500 I had a look elsewhere on the boards before posting and seen a post suggesting that CSA take about 15% of income after certain living costs are taken off. I'm not sure what exactly they take into consideration as living cost now but I'll try to get some more info on such things.
If that figure of 15% is accurate it doesn't fill me with the same fear I might once have had about the CSA being involved.
When we split there were some horrific figures being banded about but in any case, I will do the sums.

Mr_Green_Genes

NAR wrote: »

Child Support is payable until the child's 19th birthday or when child benefit ceases to be paid, whichever happens first. Child Benefit will normally cease in the September after second level education has ceased.

It's a bit more complex than that. It's September if the education stops in the summer term, but May if it stops in the spring term and January if it stops in the autumn term.

andy_H_4

My 16 y/old son starts work full time on moday, do i still have to pay CSA? in september he starts his apprenticship though, and I was told I am still resposible for CSA payments if he is an apprenticship (I am on CS1)

momisa

Hi Parkside

I can give you an idea of what happened to me but this is going back an awful long time and was when I was in England.

My folks split in 1985 when I was 14 (this is making me feel sooooo OLD :rotfl:). I was forced to live with her. She claimed that Dads payments weren't regular enough and took him to court which was best all round as the money was them taken straight out of Dads pay. If memory serves correctly, child benefit stopped at 16. However, maintenance remained at the same level until I completed full time education. After school I went to College, then Polytechnic and then to University. I was always the person who "tried hard" and so with a great deal of effort I eventually got the education I had aspired to for a long time even if it was a long way of getting there.

Dad happily continued to pay maintenance through all my educational years and never once complained to me. However, the important point to mention here I feel is that at some point (I forget how old I was) the maintenance was put into my personal account rather than hers. She wasn't pleased with this and to say that we argued is an understatement!!

I would suggest that if your son stays in education then pay whatever you're paying your ex directly into his bank account.

"Child Tax Credit supports families with children, and some 16 to 18 year olds." Taken from old doc http://www.hmrc.gov.uk/pdfs/wtc1.pdf.

If your son wants to continue his education now I'm sure you'd support him. However, it maybe the case that his practical skills as opposed to academia would be better explored ie plumber, electrician, joiner, landscaper - the list goes on.

Your son is definately at an age where he can decide for himself where he wants to live. Is it possible that he could move in with you permanently if he chooses? Just trying to cover all bases in case your ex gets demanding of what your son does with his career!! If he did move in with you and if he did not continue his education at this time ground rules would need to be in place to ensure he's contributing in some way to food, bills etc so he would have to get a job somewhere.

I wish I could provide more uptodate stuff for you.

HTH

Nova5

Andy H - I would be interested to see what happens as my husband is in a similar situation with his daughter from a previous marriage. We have two children together and his daughter from the previous relationship turns 16 in July and will be doing work based training. I believe she will be fully qualified in 18 months. He is quite happy to continue to support her where needed but would prefer to give money straight to her and not her mother.