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New Christmas Traditions for the Newly Single Mum

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Oh joy, it's Christmas season. NO pressure to be happy, and live a wonderful and fulfilling life, with no bad moments. (Sarcasm, clearly!)

Anyway, it is my first single parent Christmas (and birthday actually). Stupid man left us around three months ago, us being me, my 8 year old son, and five year old daughter. We were sort of clawing our way through, but the Christmas period looks like it could be very difficult for the three of us.

I am planning on asking their father to come round about three o'clock Xmas day. This is purely for the kids sake.
(Personally, I want him to sit in a dark room, rocking, and feeling LOTS of pain at not being with his children on Xmas day. Know this makes me sounds like a *****, but hey, he left, and I'm allowed to be a bit narked off!)

I can't face having my parents for dinner, and really feel I both need and want it to be just me and the kids.

What I am looking for, is some new traditions, to go alongside some old ones. Something for our new life. I have started today with different tree decs, and have bought 'Elf On The Shelf'. What do you do every year, that I can steal from you?!? Do you always hit a circus, go to the pictures, make something? Add everything... You never know who might need the inspiration.
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  • I'd say your entitled to be narky too!

    My kids are 6,5 and 2 and we do the following
    Xmas eve, always a buffet/party lunch, i do loads so it comes out for lunch, dinner and any leftovers go I. The fridge to snack on until it's gone
    Walk to shop to buy a carrot for Rudolph. I usually make them race each other to get rid of a bit energy
    Xmas eve hamper (which is more of a get a bath and ready for bed hamper)

    In the run up,
    as much crafting as possible, cards, wrapping paper, baubles (hobbycraft sell the polystyrene balls, which they decorate and give out as gifts), paper chains and decs (done some today)etc etc
    Tree up obviously, I let the. Do the baubles then make it look presentable when they're in bed!
    Visit to panto, couldn't afford the 'real' one this years so tried the one at the local church. Cost just £14 for the tickets, with free drinks and biscuits, I could tell it was on a budget, but the kids loved it!
    We go to a party at a local hotel with my parents and siblings and their kids
    Christmas movie nights on Friday nights (kids get to stay up late, popcorn, blanket)
    Meet a friend and her dd on one of the late night shopping days to swap the kids presents, have a got Choc and a walk to see the lights
    Pictures to see whatever Christmassy film is out (I'm wondering if ill be able to fit that in this year actually)
    Baking is usually slotted in somewhere
    If the school is having a fair we pop there.

    One thing I'm going to do this year is give them all £2 each and let them walk around pound shop (the big ones will look after little one) while I stand at the front of the shop. I will tell them each to buy a present for myself and one for the hubby, I'm thinking it could give us a laugh at what they buy!

    On christmas day itself, we stay in all day i new pjs with no visitors at all and its bliss!
    Mummy to ds 29/12/06 dd 10/2/08 ds 25/5/11
    :Amy angel born too soon 18/11/12, always with me Emmie Faith:A

    15 projects in 2015 10/15completed
  • Katiehound
    Katiehound Posts: 8,125 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    Sounds like it will be a tough time for you.

    Are there any traditions that you really enjoyed as a child? Perhaps now is your chance to re enact them?
    Are the children old enough to have their own ideas... like a wish list of things to do... that way they help to create the tradition.

    What ever you do hope it turns out better than you expected
    Being polite and pleasant doesn't cost anything!
    -Stash bust:in 2022:337
    Stash bust :2023. 120duvets, 24bags,43dogcoats, 2scrunchies, 10mitts, 6 bootees, 8spec cases, 2 A6notebooks, 59cards, 6 lav bags,36 angels,9 bones,1 blanket, 1 lined bag,3 owls, 88 pyramids = total 420total spend £5.Total for 'Dogs for Good' £546.82

    2024:Sewn:59Doggy ds,52pyramids,18 bags,6spec cases,6lav.bags.
    Knits:6covers,4hats,10mitts,2 bootees.
    Crotchet:61angels, 229cards=453 £158.55profit!!!
    2025 3dduvets
  • Katiehound wrote: »
    Sounds like it will be a tough time for you.

    Are there any traditions that you really enjoyed as a child? Perhaps now is your chance to re enact them?
    Are the children old enough to have their own ideas... like a wish list of things to do... that way they help to create the tradition.

    What ever you do hope it turns out better than you expected

    No! Really wouldn't want to inflict any part of my childhood on my kids! Have consulted kids abut everything, but they are currently being very 'good' and people pleasing - a reaction to their Dad leaving, I believe - and do not want to offer any ideas, suggestions of their own. I assume this is because they don't want to be seen as being 'wrong' or rocking the boat. I have a few things in my mind, but want to collect as many ideas as I can and choose any that I think would particularly suit our new family.
  • DigForVictory
    DigForVictory Posts: 12,069 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    Stockings to contain small things, gift wrapped to give you a few extra minutes.
    Really easy meals. (I so admired one woman, who herded her brood out to a reservoir, With A Picnic! Exercise, food & stunning surroundings then home!)
    Borrow a dog for a walk?
    Box set DVDs (so long as you all agree!) mean the babble box is an ally rather than a distraction.
    Board games? Hneftafl (spelled wrong but google it) is easy to make, easy to play & somehow even young folk love to beat mummy... (Revenge is easy - eat the pieces.)
    Baking together - real bread, allowed to rise, is fun & that with soup is a meal to be proud of!

    What ever you do, Choose it! And enjoy!
  • iammumtoone
    iammumtoone Posts: 6,377 Forumite
    Tenth Anniversary 1,000 Posts Name Dropper I've been Money Tipped!
    Hello

    I feel for you, it is hard being a single parent especially this time of year. I started my a thread myself about it earlier, some good ideas on there from people

    https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/4841446

    I am further down the line than you, this is not mine and DS first Christmas without his Dad but the points made on the above thread have help me feel better about this year and I am starting to now look forward to it.

    Following your thread too, hopefully I will get more ideas :)

    Love the idea of a Christmas eve hamper.
  • spam88
    spam88 Posts: 71 Forumite
    Definitely well within your rights to be a ***** - but good on you for allowing him to come round for the kids sake. For a little while when I was younger we took up baking on christmas eve. Perhaps you could make a gingerbread house or something on Christmas Day - you cna buy kits so it mostly involves decorating and sticking together. Christmas film goes without saying obviously - get in your pyjamas and snuggle up together with all your Christmas chocolates.
  • the_why_bird
    the_why_bird Posts: 83 Forumite
    edited 8 December 2013 at 9:47AM
    Just going to rattle off a list off the top of my head:

    - Make a tree decoration each out of salt dough, felt or old Christmas cards
    - After it gets dark, walk/drive around your neighbourhood and vote on which house has the best decorations. Post a card through their letterbox telling them they won your competition.
    - Choose a Christmas film you all like and watch it on Christmas eve. You could even do a Christmas eve box with the film, some special pjs and some snacks to share
    - Home made cookies for Santa
    - A special breakfast on Christmas morning. We have french toast, but if you're not up for cooking so early, cinnamon rolls or muffins feel like a treat.
    - Gingerbread houses. If that's too much mess, this year we covered upside down ice cream cones in green icing and used smarties and gum drops to decorate them as Christmas trees.
    - Go to the pound shop, give the kids two pounds each, everyone has to pick a present for each other. Maybe open them before bed Christmas eve or at the dinner table on the day.
    - 'plant' tictacs or peppermints in a bowl of icing sugar or flour. Overnight they will 'magically' grow into candy canes
    - Drag your quilts and pillows downstairs and camp out beneath the Christmas tree

    Good luck. I'm certain whatever you decide will be wonderful. You're obviously a great mama from your post, your children will feel so loved.

    Oh I forgot one: we once held the 'reindeer games'. I made nine mini game rounds, each with a tiny prize (chocolate coins or similar) and got a pound shop reindeer ornament for the winner's trophy. The games were things like gift wrapping a box while wearing rubber gloves, getting a malteaser out of a plate of flour without using your hands, a quiz round etc.

    You could do a treasure hunt with clues to lead to their presents.
  • I am a single mum and have 2 girls the same ages as your children.

    We also do elf on the shelf and have 2 elves and have lots of fun with that, so far this year our elves have turned the toilet water pink using a cistern block, wrapped each other in toilet roll like bandages and covered each other in plasters, they been riding eldest daughters inline skates and drawing pictures of each other and they had a game of junior scrabble spelling out slightly rude words like bum, burp, poo and wee and of course my girls names.

    This is our third year doing elf on the shelf and the things done in past years that have been popular were wrapping Christmas tree in toilet paper, hanging mummies pants from the tree, covering the door between the hallway and lounge with wrapping paper, spelling my daughters names on the kitchen worktop using cheerios, having a fake snowball fight using cotton wall balls, writing on the mirror in the bathroom using lipstick.

    On Christmas eve we make magic reindeer food using porridge oats and edible glitter and we sprinkle it outside on Christmas eve for the reindeers.

    We make cookies and decorate with icing and sprinkles.

    During the Christmas period we have afternoons snuggled on the sofa watching a Christmas movie with hot chocolate and popcorn.

    We always go and visit father Christmas before Christmas and go to the panto between Christmas and new year

    Hope this gives you some ideas

    Tracey
    Officially debt free :j
  • Artytarty
    Artytarty Posts: 2,642 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    Why bird, I wish you were my Mum! Some really great fun ideas there that will create magical memories.
    Norn Iron Club member 473
  • bossymoo
    bossymoo Posts: 6,924 Forumite
    1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    Hi

    We do the elf thing, lots of crafts, always go on the Santa express at local steam railway, do Xmas eve hampers, drive around looking at the lights, gingerbread house.

    But I keep telling myself the main thing is just to be together. The pressure of perfection ruins the fun.

    X
    Bossymoo

    Away with the fairies :beer:
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