so sad

jacklink

.......... i hope all is well with everyone

clearingout

unfortunately, fresh air doesn't put food on the table, the radiators pumping out heat or clothes on children's backs. Or is it the case that one parent should pay for everything to avoid being labelled nothing other than a 'gold digger' or other equally distasteful term?

FBaby

What a pointless statement. Of course children equal money. Wouldn't be great if they didn't! In regards to pwcs/nrps, many will try to get as much as they believe they should get whilst the other will try to give no more than they believe they should pay. No different to many other aspects of our life that cost money.

Poppie68

jacklink wrote: »

its all so sad when kids = money

Yes Kids do equal money, they cost a fortune to feed, clothe, keep a warm roof over their heads. When 2 people make a child those 2 people should provide to the maximum.

Csa_Survivor

Poppie68 wrote: »

Yes Kids do equal money, they cost a fortune to feed, clothe, keep a warm roof over their heads. When 2 people make a child those 2 people should provide to the maximum.

Great stuff, I look forward to the day when those 2 people mentioned are also provided with equal enforced rights when it comes to access too!

Marisco

Csa_Survivor wrote: »

Great stuff, I look forward to the day when those 2 people mentioned are also provided with equal enforced rights when it comes to access too!

Aye, and that'll be the 12th of Never!

I think what the op means is, that it's a shame that even if the NRP's are paying their dues, some PWC try to milk them for more and more, often using access as a blackmail "tool".

tiggerkian

Csa_Survivor wrote: »

Great stuff, I look forward to the day when those 2 people mentioned are also provided with equal enforced rights when it comes to access too!

what an excellent statement!! :T

FBaby

Great stuff, I look forward to the day when those 2 people mentioned are also provided with equal enforced rights when it comes to access too!

There are no rights on either sides. An nrp has just about as much power to avoid paying maintenance to the pwc as the pwc can deny access, despite the csa and the courts.

A nrp who doesn't want to pay can quite his job, take on self-employement and declare no income, or get into a new relationship, get her pregnant and become the stay at home dad. In these instance, the pwc will get nothing or next to nothing, still have to financially provide for the child(ren) and yet get nowhere.

We can go back and forth with this, we can try to identify percentage of who is affected and whether nrps are as a whole more victimised than pwcs and argue the value of the data for pages. The bottom line is that unless both parents are naturally responsible and reasonable, both have ways to make life very difficult for the other parent.

medsec_222

There are many fathers who do take responsibility for their children and are reasonable, but are still denied contact with their children by the 'receiving parent' (as I believe it is called now).

Scrootum

Would be better if who was to blame for the split was bought back into the equation. All this "nobody's fault" stuff just encourages bad hehaviour.

FBaby

medsec_222 wrote: »

There are many fathers who do take responsibility for their children and are reasonable, but are still denied contact with their children by the 'receiving parent' (as I believe it is called now).

Yes and ditto the other way. Myself included, I am friends with a number of pwc whose ex are doing everything in their powers to pay either nothing in maintenance or very limited and still make sure that contact is regular for the benefit of the children. My ex hasn't paid maintenance for over 5 years now. He has been in and out of jobs. I even pay for them to go to him on the bus/train every week-ends. I do it because it benefits my children to have a close relationship with their dad regardless of him wanting the good part of being parent and leaving not so good part for me.

It is pointless to see it only one sided because it isn't. Each case is different and so where the wrong lies when it doesn't work out.