Starting again after 21 years/suspension/help

AlwaysClueless

Hi all. Tricky this as there`s a lot involved so please bear with me. Just after thoughts/advice really as im a complete mess.

Ive done the same job for 21 years, straight from school, and ive recently got into trouble for posting things online about my place of work. It was all generic, no names where named etc, but someone worked out it was me, and printed off all my 2000+ posts from over the last 5 years, gave it the boss and now im suspended for gross misconduct.

Its not looking good, it reads pretty badly, but what ive posted is what I thought was the truth, ie rumours etc, but there are underlying factors, namely a bad stutter and possible autism spectrum, moved towns 10 yrs ago, and never made any friends. Wife works late hours, and im alone most of the time. The autism aspect would possibly explain why I didnt realise what i posting was wrong, believed rumours to be true, and my stutter means I struggle in social situations, means I found it easier to vent my frustration online rather than in the workplace. Ive got a doctors appt to get reffered to a specialist to see how bad my autism is, if indeed I have it all, but my wife is trained with special needs kids and has said for years that im on the autistic spectrum. Ive done 2 online adult autism tests, both say if you score over 32 your autistic, and I scored 38 and 42. I may well keep my job, though its doubtful at this stage of events.

So I find myself completely unskilled, I have a stutter, and probably autism, its not noticeable its just I really struggle in social aspects, like meeting the public, meeting new people, ive always hated going out, even to get my kids from the school, i feel very nervous. I cant drive, and im not very open, though when I am im pretty full on. Im 38, and had 1 interview in my life.

Ive no idea where to turn regarding the worst case and I get sacked. Im a hard worker and get on with whatever task im given. Im 6ft6 and quite strong, but my back isnt the best given my current jobs 21yrs strain on my back. Ive never had problems with my work.

All in all I dont rate myself very much, but I have a huge mortgage and 3 kids to support. I simply cant affords to train for a skill as i`ll go under pretty soon, getting behind with bills etc. Im on around £300 a week at the moment, and all of it used for bills/food, whilst the wifes wage pays the mortgage.

Any advice, ideas ?

cheers in advance

dandelionclock30

Well for a starter, Have you admitted to it? If not then say you dont know anything about it. They have to have reasonable belief it was you, and be able to evidence that.
Anybody could have posted that,and thats what you need to be saying.

AlwaysClueless

I admitted it in the fact finding interview. The manager is big on lying, the last 4 dismissals at our place where for people who had they told the truth would have kept their jobs. I thought honesty was the best way. The guy who runs the forum I posted on said that my company have recently had 2 court orders to get IP address`s from him regarding posting things online, and theyre pretty certain it was me anyway.

dandelionclock30

Im really sorry to say that its a one in amillion chance they wont sack you. You really need to be talking to your wife about how your going to manage with you not having an income etc and start budgetting accordingly.
Theres no way any of the companies I have worked for would let 2,000 posts slagging them off go. You need to be thinking about what your going to do next. Is their any way you can go self employed?

AlwaysClueless

The 2000 posts arent all bad, theyve just pulled out the bad ones - I dont how many there are. I cant go self employed as I have NO skills whatsoever. Ive searched jobs all day today and theres simply nothing in my area, or even close too my area, and seeing as I dont drive, its not good.

starrystarry

AlwaysClueless wrote: »

I cant go self employed as I have NO skills whatsoever.

I find that difficult to believe. You don't do a job for 21 years without picking up skills. You probably just can't see the wood for the trees at the moment. I'm sure you've got some transferable skills, if you really think about it. What type of work are you doing at the moment? (Don't give specifics...you're in enough strife!)

redcard

Well done for sticking it out for 21 years in a job that sucked!

DKLS

AlwaysClueless wrote: »

Its not looking good, it reads pretty badly, but what ive posted is what I thought was the truth, ie rumours etc, but there are underlying factors, namely a bad stutter and possible autism spectrum.

I wouldn't accept those as mitigation for slagging the company off on social media, sorry to say it but I think your screwed, but hopefully you can get an agreed reference from them.


I would start registering with agencies asap, and in future never use facebook to talk about work in any way positive or otherwise or be-friend any colleagues.

AlwaysClueless

1 of the autism symptoms is that you tell it like it is, not knowing what your doing is wrong. I really didnt know I was doing anything wrong. It was a public forum with 100`000 members, no one knows anyones names etc and theres over 500 offices in the country. I was always vague about certain aspects so as not to offend anyone. Ive not slagged anyone off so to speak, just posted stuff that happens at my place of work, funny stories if you like, which they are now using against me saying I was picking out individuals and what it might have led to. I also asked reps on the site about advice in certain situations, as my own reps didnt know, and theyve taken that as im revelealing company info and slagging my own reps etc. Its all been twisted out of proportion. Yes ive done wrong, but not the extent theyre making it into.

marybelle01

I think the reality is that there is only a long shot here - abject apology and grovelling. Even if you are autistic, I am afraid it's a bit late to discover it now, after the event so to speak. By all means mention the possibility - but it isn't a defence and they don't have to accept it as mitigation either, and it isn't even formally diagnosed. The best hope you may have is that your 21 years and being sorry for this will count for something, but I couldn't promise it will be enough.