80th birthday ideas for someone with end stage MS

vikki_louise

It's my Nan's 80th birthday on New Year's Eve, she is bedbound, unable to move or talk, tube fed etc. She has hearing and vision (although we don't know how good/bad the vision is, she can't see one side so pointless decorating that wall and there's patio doors the other side) and spends most of the time sleeping. Sometimes she is with it and seems to follow what your saying, other times she's out of it.

We want to do something to make the day special but I have no idea what! I did a scrapbook years ago with photos and memories so that idea is out.

Bennifred

I think just making her feel loved will be enough - family being around so that she can hear/see you without neccessarily joining in any conversation, so that she is aware that you are there for her. :A

the_why_bird

I agree that probably your presence will make it special.

If you're looking for a gift idea, could you get different members of the family and friends to each record a message for her, and put them on a CD that can be played to her? You could also add songs that she likes. If anyone is a particularly good reader, they could record some meaningful poems or stories. I bet if everyone recorded a favourite family story or memory it would be lovely.

whitewing

It's not pointless decorating if it lightens the room for everyone else though. Balloons and birthday girl banner on the bed. Could you trace family and friends hands onto fabric and sew it on to a bedcover as a 'group hug' - sounds naff but I am sure artistic people could make it be brilliant. You could use fabric pens to write birthday messages on the hands.

Or theme the bed as Birthday Queen and decorate it up like royalty.

Even if she can't eat them, an open tub of birthday chocolates for everyone else could help with a sense of occasion.

Getting the scrapbook out and chatting around it.

Who actually sings Happy Birthday to her? Could you organise a group of you together to do it onto a DVD that you can play to her.

Depends on her environment/sense of humour but could you pin 80 paper candles on her feeding tube.

Have an old fashioned birthday tea with birthday cake in the shape of 80, if she has children/grandchildren - even a pass the parcel (it could go via the bed). My nan used to love the hum of family life about her even if she couldn't join in.

Anything that makes the day a bit out of the ordinary is worth doing.

Alye16

When my Grandad was bed bound we brought him a bird feeder that attached to the window. People were able to fill it with seed when they visited, it also gave us something to talk to him about. He would lie in bed and look at the birds.

Quackers1

When my Gran was bedbound, we took delivery of lots of bunches of flowers which not only looked lovely but also gave the room a natural perfume.

converted-lurker

My dad had MS and for years I used to get chocolate treats for birthdays and xmas but in the end stage as you know that is sadly not an option.


Towards the end I bought DVDs and CDs and audio books so that he could hear something nice. Like you say they are not always with it but in the clearer moments it gives them something positive to listen to.
Also I did a collage of photos in a massive picture frame. His eyesight wasn't the best so don't know how much he looked at it but it also helped him indirectly as other people when they came to visit had something to talk about and triggered memories they could talk about.
Some people find it difficult talking when they don't really get a response back.
My Dad was in his sixties when we lost him. I think she has done really well to reach the grand age of 80 with MS and that should be celebrated with lots of love

whitewing

Also I was wondering about those children's projectors or crystals or something that will spread beautiful, shifting colours on the walls of the room.

Bennifred

whitewing wrote: »

Also I was wondering about those children's projectors or crystals or something that will spread beautiful, shifting colours on the walls of the room.

That's a lovely idea, but I would find that disorienting as I sometimes suffer from vertigo (I have MS) Relaxing or soothing music might be better.

pineapple

I know you've done the photo thing, but for something a little different how about a digital photo frame for a slide show of family pics (loaded with a memory card or memory stick etc ).

pelirocco

I hate to be morbid , but if she is at end stage , NY's eve is a long way off . Dont wait for her birthday spend as much time with her as possible . Talk to her about her past and her family , read books . poetry or even the paper to her .

When my MIL was in end stage i spent the last day reading her the paper then talking to her about her mum and dad , brothers and sisters , she was the most alert she had been for weeks if not months