Why doesn't he want to marry me?

stir_crazy

daisiegg wrote: »

The pill, when taken correctly, is over 99% effective. You just have to have half a brain and follow the instructions in the pack. I have 'trusted the pill as my only contraceptive' for a decade and managed never to get pregnant, and there are many other women in the same position!

I trust the pill as well, but somehow my 3 nephews (3 brothers have 1 son each) were all "accidents" when their girlfriends were on the pill (and apparently taking it properly). Not that we would change it now that they are born, I just think that the men in my family must be super-fertile

OP, maybe it's time for a full and frank talk with your OH. Without knowing each other's thoughts on the matter, and being able to come to some sort of agreement between you, it will likely lead to resentment on one or both sides.

daisiegg

stir_crazy wrote: »

I trust the pill as well, but somehow my 3 nephews (3 brothers have 1 son each) were all "accidents" when their girlfriends were on the pill (and apparently taking it properly).

I think 'apparently' is the operative word there ... :rotfl:

stir_crazy

daisiegg wrote: »

I think 'apparently' is the operative word there ... :rotfl:

Quite right, i forgot to add in the quotation marks around it :cool:

System

The pill, when taken correctly, is over 99% effective. You just have to have half a brain and follow the instructions in the pack. I have 'trusted the pill as my only contraceptive' for a decade and managed never to get pregnant, and there are many other women in the same position!

I'll add to that, ive been on the pill and ive missed pills, taken more chances than I should have and never got pregnant on it.

I did have two 'accidents' and that wasn't because the pill failed it was because I told him 'no' he said 'go on' and I caved in.:D

peachyprice

sleepymans wrote: »

Men love themselves first, and one or more "interests*" second, their family(Mum, Dad, siblings...) third........partners are a poor 4th at best.
*The "interset" may be drinking, football, mates, sport, gambling, career, gym, steam engines, vanking, whatever.....any number of things...maybe many of them.....but their partner??? always at the end of the list.

Advise you learn to rely on yourself, girl.

They are made differently to us!

Its just our bad luck if we want to mate heterosexually.:(

p.s. being "legally married" to a male isnt always an advantageous position to be............

I don't know where you find your men, but I would take a long good look at yourself if that is the only kind of man you can attract.

My husband is NONE of those things, nor were any of the boyfriends/partners/husband I had before.

lostinrates

daisiegg wrote: »

I think 'apparently' is the operative word there ... :rotfl:

Nevertheless, contraception impacts on two adults (besides any number of children) and user error, accidental or otherwise, impacts on the guy as well as the gal. There is no need for 'accidental' pregnancy to be solely the fault of the pill taker, and a belt and braces approach hurts noone, where as a messy relationship breakdown can be more difficult with children involved.

Scorpio33

Why not propose to him?

Why not have this big romantic evening with him, pop out a ring and ask him? Make it a big proposal so it is a big deal.

To me, he wants to be with you and is unsure over marriage. By having a big proposal to him, he should realise how important it is to you to get married. If he was dead against marriage, then you need to know why. If he is not bothered either way, then surely he can get married - even if it is just for you.

newcook

Scorpio33 wrote: »

Why not propose to him?

Why not have this big romantic evening with him, pop out a ring and ask him? Make it a big proposal so it is a big deal.

If I had said to someone several times that I didnt want to get married and they still went ahead and proposed I would seriously reconsider the relationship as it would seem to me that the other person was not listening when I said I wouldnt want to get married or they were trying to bully me into it.

OP - you have already made it clear to him that you want to get married. either accept that he doesnt or wait and see if he changes his mind later down the line (without any hints or pushing for a proposal)

Retrogamer

I've only read the first post in this thread, but given the circumstances i'd be in the same position as your partner.

Some people think their partners should have a really good excuse for not wanting to get married, but i'm (and i expect your partner) in the position that i'd need a really good reason for getting married.

I'm not religious so i wouldn't do it for that.
There's very little legal benefits from being married.
if it's for "commitment" i'd always say i'm committed when in a relationship since i don't look / go with other people
If it's for showing your love / big party / special day, you can do all those things without gettied married.

System

He's got everything he wants. He doesn't need the commitment of marriage does he?

I think ive told this story before so forgive me if you've heard it before.

I had a friend who had been with her partner for 15 or so years. Lovely couple, they had bought a house, had a young son early on in the relationship but as she got older she wanted to get married. She didn't need it as she had got everything they wanted but she wanted to get married.

Her partner resisted. Every so often she would mention it but he refused to marry her. He said he couldn't see the point.

Till one day he had an accident at work, it was a pretty serious accident leaving him needing long term medication and someone to care for him long term.

As soon as he came out of hospital, the wedding was booked.

Which brings me to this post:

Men love themselves first, and one or more "interests*" second, their family(Mum, Dad, siblings...) third........partners are a poor 4th at best.
*The "interset" may be drinking, football, mates, sport, gambling, career, gym, steam engines, vanking, whatever.....any number of things...maybe many of them.....but their partner??? always at the end of the list.

It makes you think doesn't it? Now i'm sure not all men are like that but i'm sure a fair few are.