LHG - the biggest adventure yet

lionheartedgirl

Evening :j

debt now stands at £24.6k. All 0% except £2k of a loan remaining at 6.1% which runs out in July next year.

I will finish the year in the fantastic position where if I sold all my musical instruments and the big car that is required to drive them all about, I would be debt free with enough to buy a rusty runaround to get to the hills, plus I would still have a very shiny motorbike :cool:

Good news on the advent calendar/spendy elves collision..... clearly the universe wasn't cross with me because...:A

A couple of days later a very healthy refund from SSE arrived in my bank account as I'd been overpaying my gas from when ex-bf lived here. I knew I was paying more than I needed to but kept forgetting to sort the meter reading. It was just short of the amount I'd spent on the splurgey treat so it really was a bit of a result! :A

Also... I was reviewing some of my YNAB spends across the year and was horrified at the number of times I'd picked up the bill when I was out for dinner with above-mentioned lovely guy, I just hadn't felt it was always me at all but it seems it was. So... less lovely he is now! Humph. Definitely a lesson learned. :mad:

Musical things have calmed down after the summer and I've got more time and space to think again which is great.

A few things have come into focus lately and one of them has been the realisation that I am almost done with the current stage of musical activity. I am almost ready to sell up and stop for a while again. I don't want it to become my living, I don't particularly enjoy it a lot of the time for various reasons and I want to use my time and energy for something else.

What I do want is a little bit of a financial cushion with enough left over to go and do all the things I really adore doing. Fortunately these are pretty cheap bar the occasional replacement of outdoor clothing which can be a bit pricey but is manageable with some shopping around. I'd like to see a bit of the world and am even thinking about working overseas for a little while - goodness knows my pasty adopted Scottish skin could do with some sunshine and some warmth in my wee bones!

I think about how long I've been on this journey - it occurred to me it's 10 years since I separated from my ex hubby which was the start of all this. I read a while ago that divorce knocks you back financially by 10 years - I'm sure it was only a throwaway internet comment but I'm realising just how true it has been for me.

I'm so tired of it all. I'm tired of watching every penny, of wondering if people are judging how I spend my money, of juggling everything. Don't get me wrong, I've not gone down the total hermit route as I knew I was in for the long haul, but there are a few things I really miss. Like getting my hair coloured and having flowers in the house occasionally.

And I realised how long it was since I had a good holiday that wasn't marred by a breakup either just before, just after or during.

So over the last few days I decided I'd look for a permanent job in finance which is what I do at the moment. For a little while, I've actually been enjoying my day job. It's not particularly stressful, the people are really really nice, I'm really well treated (especially compared to my last job!) and even though it's an enormous company, I still feel like I count. There's also loads going on with charities and things to get involved with that I really like. Given the industry I work in, it has really surprised me.

Today a permanent job came up in another team but doing the same job I do now. I asked my line manager about it and she said I'd been suggested for another longer term contract role in another team still. Both would be great options for different reasons so I'm going to have a think tonight then talk to her tomorrow.

My creative artistic soul would normally be screeching and hissing at the thought of a boring desk job, but actually I can see how it will fit really, really well with other things that are important in my life. I'm also realising that I've finally found a job that can be just a job without taking over the rest of my life. So that isn't really so bad after all is it

Wowee this has turned into a long post. I need to head off to bed, I'm trying to see off another mini lurgy as I have a race in 2 1/2 weeks :eek::rotfl:

MistyMountainTop

What did you decide about the jobs? I would have been tempted to go for the permanent one, there is nothing like a bit of security when trying to pay off your debts...

I wouldn't be in a rush to sell your musical things. For me it seems to go in cycles where I play a lot, get tired of it, have a rest, realise a huge chunk of my life is missing, start playing again, play a lot... etc. I haven't quite managed the whole balancing act thing yet but most of my musician friends have similar stories...

Reading your post again, I realised that I could have written it myself. You are doing really well and sound in control of the situation. I can relate to this bit in particular:

I'm so tired of it all. I'm tired of watching every penny, of wondering if people are judging how I spend my money, of juggling everything. Don't get me wrong, I've not gone down the total hermit route as I knew I was in for the long haul, but there are a few things I really miss. Like getting my hair coloured and having flowers in the house occasionally.

I don't care if people are judging me, but never being able to splurge on anything wears me down. Turning down invitations that will involve spending money. Having to make do with the cheap version of things rather than the version that I actually want, then being frustrated when the cheap version doesn't work as well as I'd hoped. I keep telling myself that it's only temporary, and I have lessons to learn where I am before I move on to the next stage of my life. I'd love to just skip to the part where I'm in a great financial situation but think if I don't learn the lessons, I'd just end up right back at the beginning...

RosaBernicia

Hurrah for your sort-of break even, your refund and your almost all 0%! :T


I can totally see where you're coming from LHG. I've just finished training to do my non-day-job thing and I thought I'd now feel able to pack in the steady stuff and rush off elsewhere. Instead I just realised that if I do that right now, I'll undo all the security that I've worked so hard for. Similarly, I've realised that I like the organisation I work for, the job I do and the people I work with, which is pretty lucky really. So I've also decided to stick with the steady stuff and make it a real basis for whatever else I want to do. It doesn't have to be forever. I saw someone today I hadn't seen in ages, told them I was buying a house, and they went 'what, you mean you're staying down here'? Well, no, but this is what I need and what I'm doing for now.

Good luck job finding :j


Rosa xx

lionheartedgirl

Thanks both

MMT my instrument is a big one with a LOT of strings and is a huge investment that ties up a lot of money. It also needs a big car to drive it around. I have other smaller ones that I can use when I fancy a bit of a play for my own purposes or if I want to play in a pub etc so it wouldn't be the end of the world. I don't need to rush a decision on it, I'd be sad to see it go as it's such a beautiful instrument to play but also, it would be a shame to see it stand in a corner unused as they do need regular playing to stay in good condition. What do you play? I'm glad I'm not the only one who finds it comes and goes in cycles!

It has been a very expensive few weeks. Part of this was an unintended purchase that I had planned to make next spring but came up at too good a price to turn down. I couldn't really afford to do it now so I really should have waited. I just had the wants and gave in.

And then my dogs had to go to the vet for a planned dental but one of them had to have a lot more work done than expected AND needs to go back in the new year for more. They are both going strong which is great to see - 11 and 10 1/2 for greyhounds is really, really good going.

So I'm feeling a bit vulnerable financially again (a feeling I HATE) and also pretty cross with myself for all the spendiness. I have phases like this - I cut things to the bone for ages and then have a meltdown. I really am on the last/home stretch now so am going to review my budget AGAIN to try and balance things better.

Job wise - I've accepted the 12 month contract and start in my new team in January. I'm reluctant to commit to a permanent role at the mo for a couple of reasons - firstly I don't think it's any more secure in the short term as you don't get redundancy pay etc for a while and secondly I work in financial services which again just isn't secure at all. I've been temping for the last 3 1/2 years and it has worked well for me. Lastly, I think if I took a permanent job and then left soon after, it wouldn't go down well and I probably wouldn't be able to come back in the future. But it's nice that they would have me permanently if I wanted so if things change on my side and something comes up again in the future which it does regularly, I would have the option.

Another long post. Today is a rare quiet day at home and I'm really going to enjoy myself pottering about :j

RosaBernicia

All sounding good LHG

One thing though... cutting things right to the bone always resulted in splurges for me too. Have you tried keeping a bit of designated fun money or splurge capacity aside? I found it helpful as budgeting for it meant I had the option of either a small bit of spendiness that didn't detour the overall plan, or paying a bit more off and feeling virtuous


Rosa xx

lionheartedgirl

Hi Rosa, yes a lot of people say the same. I did have one but it was more for race entries and running shoes etc. Then a few bills came in and while I'm tracking everything on YNAB, all my categories are all over the show now!

Maybe as you say I just need a little splurge pot :-) I'm thinking about how I will structure things from next year so will add this to the mix I think. Thank you :-)

MistyMountainTop

Hi LHG, I hope all is well! It would make sense to sell your big instrument if you still have others you can play. I had it in my head that you were giving up altogether. I play the piano but also have a very portable keyboard.

I have met a couple greyhounds recently on my walks and they were so lovely and placid. The owners were telling me that they don't need as much exercise as you might think and their dogs were happiest sleeping in front of the fire. I hope yours are doing well after their expensive vet visits!

I am feeling financially vulnerable as well, but am making plans to change this in 2017. There is not a lot else I can do until Jan actually starts, so I'm taking the 'in-between' time to get something solid in place.

The job situation sounds great, and so nice to know that you have options. I hope you've had a lovely Xmas and have a great New Year!

lionheartedgirl

Is it really March already?

So. Lots of news.

I am a greyhound down thanks to an accident in the back garden where one elderly hound with dodgy hips/back decided to chase four whippets considerably younger than him. He turned, or rather didn't, and broke his leg and trashed some ligaments. The ligament damage was too severe for him to recover from at his great age and so a sad decision was made. We had a lovely last morning together though and for a dog who faced an uncertain future at the end of his race career, he had a very long and extremely happy and very luxurious retirement.

And so a monumental gap is now left. He was the comedy/affection side of the greyhound duo, and I am missing him terribly. The thing is, I am now sleeping through the night regularly for the first time in five years. He didn't like sleeping at night AT ALL. So, mixed feelings. The remaining half of the gang is enjoying being an only dog I think, and is gradually getting more snuggly.

Money is.... Ok. Well, there's still a lot of debt but it feels under control despite the huge unexpected vet bills.

Job is.... mmm. I moved teams. It's not the same as my old team and I'm looking around. I spoke to someone about another permanent role as it was feeling like time to stick rather than twist. And then...

Today I found out my aunty is having chemo very soon. She has had a low grade lymphoma for the last 5 years and has been on what they call watch and wait - regular checkups but no treatment unless things change. Things changed. My brother has recently had scans and checks following some nasty lumps too and it all feels so close. My uncle survived an extremely nasty form of lymphoma 10 years ago and it is all just horrible.

So. 5 years ago, finding out my aunty had cancer as well as my uncle (my uncle is my mum's little brother, aunty is his wife) prompted me to change things hugely. I took up running to enter a triathlon for charity and soon after I moved to Scotland to start my music degree.

5 years later, just as I'm starting to think things will be OK, maybe I can relax a bit, everything is up in the air again. So tonight, no grand gestures, no running as a) I was just too tired anyway and b) once I heard the news I knew I would just cry, just sitting here feeling numb and watching the DCI Tennyson thing and drinking a bit of wine.

not too much though because I've started to shift a bit of weight AT LAST and I don't want to wreck that.

Eep what a day...

RosaBernicia

Oh definitely eep LHG - so sorry to hear about your aunty. And your greyhound, though you clearly gave him a wonderful retirement.

Sending virtual hugs. Take it easy - TV downtime makes sense just now.


Rosa xx

lionheartedgirl

New doggy arrived yesterday - and time for a new diary :-)

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/5643487