Why do people ask if they have no intention of getting you what you ask for?

Erinnire

Eurgh...

I am always really grateful for every present I get but I am getting really frustrated with people asking me what I would like then looking at me like a mad person and ignoring my suggestion haha!

I was asked second hand by my partner for what I would like from his parents. I am going to South Korea next year for 3 weeks to study and I said I'd love a phrase book, a travel guide or some currency.

That was veto'd as it's not a 'proper' present. They almost had a melt down last year when I asked for some comfy pillows haha!

Then my partner has been pestering my for ideas, so I showed him my amazon wishlist. It's mainly prepper and survivalist bits and bobs which I am really interested in so I said 'oh I'd LOVE a prepper hamper' just as a suggestion.

He just laughed at me and called me weird

ciderwithrosie_2

I know, it's really annoying. I want to be grateful, but if you end up with something you don't really want or need, I feel the person has wasted their money. I'm happy to give people suggestions and get something I can use. If people surprise me, they usually get it totally wrong! Secret Santa at work is a prime example of this, so now I drop hints in the hope my 'santa' is listening!

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow

:(I'm sorry to have to be the one to tell you this but the reason they are asking you what you would like is to make sure you don't get it.:(

IrishRose12

I hate this also. I then always end up going out after Christmas and buying myself the things I actually wanted. If someone tell me they would like something, 9 x out of 10 I will buy it for them, the only reason they wouldn't get it is if I can't afford it, or there are none available. But there's no point in asking someone then just not buying it!

SailorSam

When i was asked by a member of my family a few years back i said that i wanted a new bird bath for the garden, i told them the one i had, had never been any good since the day i bought it and was broken. They looked out into the garden and said that they'd had one the same and maybe it was badly designed 'cos theirs had broken the same. They said it's carp, we'd never have another like that in our house.
So come Christmas morning they come around with a box all wrapped up ....... aaahh it's my new bird table. Open the box and it's exactly the same as the one i had. I felt they were saying this is carp we wouldn't have one but it will do for you.

pigpen

I don't get what I want because I am unreasonable and want 5 sofas, laminate and underfloor heating for the back room, an aga, though I'd settle for a £1500 woodburning stove I have my eye on and £400 worth of tiles.. of and 2 pairs of £100+ boots.. and a £400 food processor.. driving lessons.. there is a reason I don't have all these things.. the same reason which means others can't get me them too!.

I make it plain I do NOT want sweets or nightwear/dressing gowns (I got 3 last year!) or jewellery or knitting stuff.

It doesn't leave a lot

I do want an ostrich feather duster.. I have wanted one for years, they are beautiful.. and some of those heat holder socks that are 2.3 tog..

OH would like a forge and blacksmithing and leather-working tuition and a grande voyager and a new MacBook.. His phone is fine he is waiting for the Iphone6 next year .. He has a list of sword stuff he wants too with nothing under £130 I do have a list of books to buy from though which is handy.

X_YuMmY_X

I always write a list and my boyfriend looks at it and says he won't be buying anything from it because it's a boring list. But he does always give me lovely presents that he has thought about.

My Dad really annoys me when I'm buying presents for him. Every xmas and birthday he tells me he doesn't know what he wants, and I find it really hard to find something he will like. Then a couple of days before xmas or birthday he will give me a list of things that he wants and by then it's too late or I have already bought something else!

Fen1

People don't actually give a sh*t about what you actually want / need. They are just trying to figure out the cheapest cr*p they can offload on you that is vaguely, somehow, connected to desired gift / your interests.

Or the classic Boots 3-4-2 spare gift that they can dump on you and hope you don't notice that it's a Boots BOGOF.

CathWales

Totally agree with where you are all coming from. Mum has asked me what I want and one thing I have fancied lately is a hoodie from Hollister, but mum says they are about £70, I didn't know the price, but the website says from £40 and my niece has been bought stuff from there from mum in the past. I am not sure if she would buy one as a surprise, but I want to choose my own to check it also fits. Whenever I ask her, its pj's or something, tho she recently mentioned her mp3 player was playing up and this has made me consider getting her one, tho she will only use it for going on holiday a couple of times a year, so not sure if she does want one and don't want to ask her as that is giving away what I had in mind for her. In the past she has come over with shopping, like new boots and asked me if I want to get them for xmas for her, but I am not allowed to do the same. I am really not trying to sound like an ungrateful brat, but almost everything she gave me last year was clothing that didn't fit or had cats on them, I have nothing against cats, but don't want to wear them on a jumper. I would rather be given money so I can shop in the sale and not be tied to one shop by vouchers, I still have a £50 Next one from stuff I had to return last year as tho I had receipts, mum paid by card.

rozmister

We all have lists in my family and have done since kids (big fractured family) and generally my sister, mum and I get what we ask for. I don't always buy from the list because I love choosing well considered gifts for people. e.g. last year I bought my sister some very expensive hand cream and moisturising gloves because she was complaining her hands were cracked. It's probably annoying for everyone else but I've never had any complaints and generally people marvel at how creative my gifts are!

My brother generally doesn't get what's on his list because he picks all expensive things that need to be sourced from specialists (really high P & P on top of the price and no chance to shop around) and it's a pain in the bum!

POPPYOSCAR

I agree with you OP.

It also annoys me when I am asked what they can get for someone and I give them something from my list. They then get something completely different and the person ends up without it when I could of got it for them.