Adult 'pocket money'

peachyprice

Addiscomber wrote: »

I have always budgeted for the amount that is actually taken for each of the 10 months (or 8 months for Thames Water) and shoved that amount into savings in the 'off' months. When I wasn't working that was often all that we could save but we didn't miss it because we were used to having to pay that amount out.

Yes, that's what I do with it, 4 months water and 2 months council tax makes a nice little savings pot and as you say, you don't miss it because you're paying it for the rest of the year.

Luella-14_2

Addiscomber wrote: »

True.

It clearly doesn't work for some couples though. May be I'm too sensitive, but it quite upsets me when I see posts on here from (usually) the woman in a 'partnership' where they each pay half of the household bills and keep the rest of 'their' pay as spending money even when one (usually the man) earns significantly more than the other. That just seems blatantly unfair to me.

Whereas to me, the lower paid female in a couple, anything else would be unfair. My OH earns more than me because of the job he chooses to do. We work similarly long hours but his role merits more money than mine, so I think he deserves more "spending money" than I do. I could apply for promotion and have equal money if I wanted to but it's not for me at the moment.

maman

I've read loads of threads about how to share finances as a couple. I'm in the bit of independence have separate and shared account camp but that wasn't what the OP asked.

First, he definitely should pay for his own cigarettes.

Then I think you look at the other essentials: So some sort of shared pot (or an account in your own name if DH isn't to be trusted;)). In here goes all the money for essential spending, food, rent/mortgage, gas, electric, council tax, TV licence etc. If you look at DFW boards there are SOAs on there that give you ideas of headings. Then you start to stray into areas that you may/may not want to have shared like your own travel costs or hairdressing. My DH and I differentiate between shared gifts to family and those to personal friends, entertainment when we're out together and when we're out separately with friends. Then definite pocket money things like clothes and toiletries that aren't basic supermarket stuff. If you have the option to take lunch to work I'd take that out of the food bill. If you're buying sandwiches cos it's easier then I'd say out of pocket money.

How much pocket money will depend on what's left over after essentials and what your future plans are. I definitely think a joint savings account is needed whether it's saving for a holiday, a house or just a buffer. It's also good to have a personal savings account too where you can put anything left over from pocket money.

What's absolutely essential is that you have your OH on board with all this.

ladymarmalade

I think having 'pocket money' is a great way of keeping control of your finances.

My husband and I get both our wages paid into one account. Send all the money we need for bills over direct debit into another account, which is where all the bills are paid from. We then have another direct debit which pays into our savings account and another one which pays into our car fund which pays mots, services, insurance etc. The final direct debit goes to our own personal accounts which is ours to do with what we want. Typical things it will cover are:
clothes
make-up
beauty treatments
nights out
days out
games/consoles
if we smoked that would come from our own money too.

before we got married we also used to buy christmas and birthday presents for our own realtives from there too but now they come out of the money that is left in our main account when everything else has been transferred.

hgotsparkle

OH has around half of his monthly pay free after bills and such, doesn't put any aside (hes generally really good with money, but the fact he doesn't save up his money drives me up the wall), he does however pay when we go out with friends, to cinema or a meal.I earn less than him and after my side of the bills, I have around £120 left for the month, I will save whatever I can but most months I have things I need to buy, birthdays, xmas savings, MOT etc....

Umistboy

It all depends on what your budget is and what your habits are.

Wife and I bring home total of £4000 per month after tax. We each keep £250 and immediately transfer the rest to our joint account or "jointy" as we call it.

Our household bills total ~£2000 so we save the rest.

Even though we're just 31yo we have a lot of joint interest (walking, cricket club, our 5 month old baby, visiting frineds houses etc) that actually cost very little so we're in a position where he have plenty of money but the allocated pocket money means we waste very little of it.

It's an excellent way of controlling outgoings but must be done realistically.

meritaten

I no longer work - am disabled. I get an agreed amount per week for cash expenses for 'housekeeping' - you know, bread, milk etc and my 'pocket money' for things I want. Books, knitting yarns etc. my OH has a similar amount for things like beer money,and whatever he wants to buy. The rest stays in his account and the household bills like mortgage, energy, food come out of that. that said about a third of his wages are then 'saved' and when we have a large enough sum - he might upgrade the car or we take a holiday. or we help the 'kids' out. or home improvements. we rarely need to take out loans. But, OH doesn't quibble if I want to buy clothes or shoes or just have a spending spree! he isn't mean in any way! Same for him - if he fancies a new wardrobe I am quite happy to go help him choose!

it may not work for everyone but we have done this for at least thirty years (when I was working I mostly spent my wages on the kids) or it went toward holiday money or maintaining our static caravan, which we had to give up when site fees rocketed). you have to work out what suits you both and leaves you both feeling its 'fair'.

my dad was paid in cash (normal for the times) and used to hand over his wage packet to mum - who then doled out his 'pocket money'. even as a child I thought this wrong...........poor dad had barely enough for his fags and its a good job he wasn't a 'drinker' - he couldn't afford more than a pint or two a week! he also had to save up for his clothes! and mum insisted they be bought from the local tailor! mum spent the rest on her 'home'. She was convinced she was a 'good manager' of money because she had nice carpets, curtains the latest wallcoverings etc. as she personally had no interest in food - our weekly menu was very predictable and mum knew to the penny how much it would cost!
Yet they had hardly any savings - despite mum being insistent on me putting my pocket money/birthday/Christmas money away - That was used for my clothes!

Tiglath

Although there's about £15k difference in our salaries, we treat all income and bills as joint. Everything except the car comes out of my account so I know it will get paid, and DH transfers a set amount to me on the day he gets paid. We allow ourselves equal spending money per month, to do with as we want, and I transfer the rest into our savings.

Laurajo_2

We are married and keep finances pretty much separate - I pay half the money for bills over to my husband as they come out of his account, we both put between £100 to £200 into a household savings account, he does the monthly shop, I do the weekly top ups.
Everything else is ours to spend as we wish. It works great with us - I can honestly say we have never had an argument about money (although I have had the odd lecture in the early days about having too much month left at the end of money - fortunately I'm much more sensible now!)

To be honest, I'd resent anyone telling me how much of my money I could or couldn't spend, provided I was also paying my way and into the savings.

lovely-cup-of-tea

Some more great insights into how folks manage their joint incomes.

I broached the subject this evening and OH seemed very up for the idea. I'm going to spend some time this weekend going over some of the SOAs on this site and put one together for us so we can see what our outgoings really are.

Thank you all.