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Partner and her debt
mjv1986
Posts: 49 Forumite
Hi,
To cut a long story short, about a year ago I found some debt letters which went back a few years before I met her. I helped her through these, get them paid off and said if anymore come through, let me know and we will sort it.
I would say every 1.5-2 months there is a new one and I just happen to be cleaning, or putting clothes away etc and the letter is there.
I comfront her everytime and being honest, I was sympathic at first, but now its getting a bit ridiculous. I found one the other day which was for a gym membership she had last year with me, and she just cancelled the DD instead of telling the gym she was quitting so has racked up months of payments!! The letter was dated 3rd october and threatenend court action if not paid by 31st October. WHen I confornted her she said "I was going to pay it tomorrow!" which to be honest I don't believe.
My trust is shot and I really do not know if there are more round the corner as everytime she says "there is no more". Also this gym one, I knew about from about 6 months ago, she agreed to pay the debt in 2 payments, she paid the first one when we sorted it and "forgot" to pay the other one.
The trust is gone and I just want some advice from people who may have been in a similar situation as to can this get better, or is it just going to carry on?
As you can expect, her credit rating is BAD and she we will have to wait about 5 years before even trying to get a mortgage together!
To cut a long story short, about a year ago I found some debt letters which went back a few years before I met her. I helped her through these, get them paid off and said if anymore come through, let me know and we will sort it.
I would say every 1.5-2 months there is a new one and I just happen to be cleaning, or putting clothes away etc and the letter is there.
I comfront her everytime and being honest, I was sympathic at first, but now its getting a bit ridiculous. I found one the other day which was for a gym membership she had last year with me, and she just cancelled the DD instead of telling the gym she was quitting so has racked up months of payments!! The letter was dated 3rd october and threatenend court action if not paid by 31st October. WHen I confornted her she said "I was going to pay it tomorrow!" which to be honest I don't believe.
My trust is shot and I really do not know if there are more round the corner as everytime she says "there is no more". Also this gym one, I knew about from about 6 months ago, she agreed to pay the debt in 2 payments, she paid the first one when we sorted it and "forgot" to pay the other one.
The trust is gone and I just want some advice from people who may have been in a similar situation as to can this get better, or is it just going to carry on?
As you can expect, her credit rating is BAD and she we will have to wait about 5 years before even trying to get a mortgage together!
0
Comments
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You are having the same problem with your partner that I had with my ex-wife. It's like being married to an alcoholic.
Unfortunately, in her case, the problem was incurable and she couldn't stop spending and had no idea about budgeting and keeping records, planning ahead, etc, etc.
Even after we had split up, she continued in the same old way and eventually had the house repossessed and the kids came to live with me.
I found out about it when my 10 year old son asked me casually one day "What's a bailiff, Dad, because one came to Mum's house yesterday"?
I can't give you any advice on your personal situation. Only you can make up you mind on that. But you have to decide if she can be cured or not."There are not enough superlatives in the English language to describe a 'Princess Coronation' locomotive in full cry. We shall never see their like again". O S Nock0
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