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Lost my Mojo...

Hi all

We are sort of moved in and dh is due to start new job next monday.

He now does not want to go bk. However most of the debts are in MY name. he thinks we will never get another mortgage and have to live in this death trap house forever.

Im tired of hauling his backside to go over paperwork, I think i should just let the vultures do their worst.

Am low today - can you tell?

Comments

  • Richard_S
    Richard_S Posts: 4,432 Forumite
    Hi all

    We are sort of moved in and dh is due to start new job next monday.

    He now does not want to go bk. However most of the debts are in MY name. he thinks we will never get another mortgage and have to live in this death trap house forever.

    Im tired of hauling his backside to go over paperwork, I think i should just let the vultures do their worst.

    Am low today - can you tell?

    Hi NME,

    Well so far so good; new (ish) house, new job.

    There is a lot to be said for one of you not declaring bankruptcy if it's feasible. One of the debt charities will be able to give you an opinion as to whether that's best for you or not. At least it'd mean that you'd got control over the situation and won't be all the time trying to persuade a reluctant spouse to do something he doesn't want to.

    As for feeling low NME, you're human; I thought this poem summed emotions quite well:

    Wild sea of emotions

    A sea of emoitions
    Wild and rebelling.
    Mabey sums it up.

    Waves of fear
    Waves of sadness
    And wild waves of helplessness
    Waves of lonliness
    Washover me.

    As the wild tide rides in
    My tears flow like the seas
    How sad life can be.

    My emoitions wash over me
    Sometimes good sometimes bad.
    Sometimes lost
    Sometimes found

    I've found my emotions
    I can live again

    Surely happiness
    Will come my way.

    Amy Louise Kerswell


    "Smile" he said, "things can only get worse," and sure enough they did. :rotfl: :rotfl:

    Regards

    Richard
  • wherediditallgo
    wherediditallgo Posts: 2,889 Forumite
    OH, sorry you're feeling down, NME. This is a song by Victoria Wood that never fails to make me laugh when I'm down. If I can find an mp3 of it, I'll link it for you.

    Let's do it (aka The Ballad of Barry and Freda)

    Freda and Barry sat one night
    The sky was clear, the stars were bright
    The wind was soft, the moon was up
    Freda drained her cocoa cup.
    She licked her lips, she felt sublime
    She switched off Gardeners' Question Time
    Barry cringed in fear and dread
    As Freda grabbed his tie and said

    Let's do it, let's do it,
    Do it while the mood is right
    I'm feeling appealing,
    I've really got an appetite.
    I'm on fire with desire
    I could handle half the tenors in a male voice choir
    Let's do it, let's do it, tonight.

    (But he said)
    I can't do it, I can't do it, I don't believe in too much sex
    This fashion for passion turns us into nervous wrecks
    No derision, my decision,
    I'd rather watch the Spinners on the television
    I can't do it, I can't do it, tonight.

    (So she said)
    Let's do it, let's do it,
    Do it till our hearts go boom.
    Go native, creative,
    Living in the living room.
    This folly is jolly,
    Bend me over backwards on the hostess trolley
    Let's do it, let's do it, tonight.

    (Then he said)
    I can't do it, I can't do it,
    My heavy breathing days are gone.
    I'm older, feel colder,
    It's other things that turn me on.
    I'm imploring, i'm boring,
    Let me read this catalogue on vinyl flooring
    I can't do it, I can't do it, tonight.

    Let's do it, let's do it,
    Have a crazy night of love.
    I'll strip bare, I'll just wear
    Stilettos and an oven glove
    Don't starve a girl of a palaver,
    Dangle from the wardrobe in a balaclava
    Let's do it, let's do it, tonight.

    I can't do it, I can't do it,
    I know I'd only get it wrong.
    Don't angle for me to dangle,
    My arms have never been that strong.
    Stop pouting, stop shouting,
    You know I pulled a muscle when I did that grouting.
    I can't do it, I can't do it, tonight.

    Let's do it, let's do it,
    Share a night of wild romance.
    Frenetic, poetic,
    This could be your last big chance.
    To quote Milton, to eat stilton,
    To roll in gay abandon on the tufted Wilton
    Let's do it, let's do it, tonight.

    I can't do it, I can't do it,
    I've got other little jobs on hand.
    Don't grouse, around the house,
    I've got a busy evening planned.
    Stop nagging, I'm flagging,
    You know as well as I do that the pipes want lagging -
    Can't do it, can't do it, tonight.

    Let's do it, let's do it
    While I'm really in the mood.
    Three cheers, it's years,
    Since I caught you even semi-nude.
    Get drastic, gymnastic,
    Wear your baggy Y-fronts with the loose elastic,
    But let's do it, let's do it, tonight.

    I can't do it, I can't do it, I must refuse to get undressed
    I feel silly, it's too chilly to go without my thermal vest.
    Don't choose me, don't use me,
    Me mother sent a note to say you must excuse me
    I can't do it, I can't do it, tonight.

    Let's do it, let's do it, I feel I must absolutely must
    I won't exempt you, want to tempt you,
    Want to drive you mad with lust
    No cautions, just contortions,
    Smear an avocado on my lower portions
    Let's do it, let's do it tonight.

    I can't do it, I can't do it,
    It’s really not my cup of tea
    I'm harassed, embarrassed,
    I wish you hadn't picked on me.
    No dramas, give me my pyjamas,
    The only girl I'm mad about is Judith Chalmers
    I can't do it, I can't do it, tonight.

    Let's do it, let's do it, I really want to run amok
    Let's wiggle, lets jiggle, let's really make the rafters rock
    Be mighty, be flighty,
    Come and melt the buttons on my flameproof nightie
    Let's do it, let's do it, tonight,

    Let's do it, let's do it, I really want to rant and rave
    Let's go 'cos I know just how I want to behave
    Not bleakly, not meekly,
    Beat me on the bottom with a Woman's Weekly
    Let's do it, let's do it, tonight.

    :D
  • Thanks both of you!

    That Victoria wood one always makes me laugh too. Especially the bit about Womans Weekly...pmsl!!!
  • I thought maybe if I went bk and he didnt, then maybe he might be able to get a mortgage in his own right one day? Im not earning !!!!!! all, and tbh I am even wondering if we will last through all of this.
  • Richard_S
    Richard_S Posts: 4,432 Forumite
    I thought maybe if I went bk and he didnt, then maybe he might be able to get a mortgage in his own right one day? Im not earning !!!!!! all, and tbh I am even wondering if we will last through all of this.

    Hi NME,

    It would certainly make it easier to get a mortgage in the future if one of you hadn't declared bankruptcy, but it's not impossible even if you both do. As for whether you'll last through all this, the effect that financial problems and bankruptcy have on health and relationships is something that those not facing it will never comprehend.

    This is the first time in my life that I've ever felt that all we're doing is existing. We can't plan anything because we've no control over our finances, and there's precious little motivation to start putting together a business knowing that we'd lose an unacceptable %age of the income. It's as if life is on hold. If we don't get our automatic discharge on the due date I think we'll just slip into the black economy or move abroad and make a fresh start. :confused:

    Regards

    Richard (I think I've got the blues now :cry:)
  • Im sorry Richard for bringing you down. What a complete bore I am!

    Mind you though, was feeling very low earlier, felt like Job in the Bible story, thought all I need now is a plague of locusts...ha! Lo and behold we have a wasps nest outside our bedroom window. Had to laugh.

    Am going to send off my bank charges claim letters tomorrow and see what the thieving gets comes up with.

    Starting abroad...now you are talking. Was at boot fair this weekend and I reckon 85% were of Eastern European origin. Maybe I could ask one of them for an exchange? Somewhere lovely by the sea? Hmm...theres a thought...

    Where is the Bat tonight?
  • Richard_S
    Richard_S Posts: 4,432 Forumite
    Im sorry Richard for bringing you down. What a complete bore I am!

    Mind you though, was feeling very low earlier, felt like Job in the Bible story, thought all I need now is a plague of locusts...ha! Lo and behold we have a wasps nest outside our bedroom window. Had to laugh.

    Am going to send off my bank charges claim letters tomorrow and see what the thieving gets comes up with.

    Starting abroad...now you are talking. Was at boot fair this weekend and I reckon 85% were of Eastern European origin. Maybe I could ask one of them for an exchange? Somewhere lovely by the sea? Hmm...theres a thought...

    Where is the Bat tonight?

    Hi NME,

    It wasn't you that was bringing me down, it's getting very close to our discharge date and we've still not heard anything so things are a little tense at the moment.

    Philosophically, whatever happens we'll accept and get on with our lives but obviously our preference is to receive our automatic discharge.

    Bat's always around somewhere; you just can't hear him, watch out for insect wings on your monitor. :rotfl: :rotfl:

    Richard
  • Ha! Got letter today from Woolwich offering £835 in bank charge refund...woo hoo!!!!!!

    Have just finished asking Abbey for £1480.

    Have also spoke to my PND nurse today and she has put the wheels in motion for a retraining programme for me which includes a creche for the baby and its during school hours, so that improves my job prosepects!
  • Richard_S
    Richard_S Posts: 4,432 Forumite
    Ha! Got letter today from Woolwich offering £835 in bank charge refund...woo hoo!!!!!!

    Have just finished asking Abbey for £1480.

    Have also spoke to my PND nurse today and she has put the wheels in motion for a retraining programme for me which includes a creche for the baby and its during school hours, so that improves my job prosepects!

    Oe'er NME,

    Take it out in cash and hide it :D You won't want to talk to us bankrupts if you carry on like that :eek: .

    Good news on the job front, I always tread warily on subjects like PND because it seems to affect women completely differently; my O.H had some bad moments but not what you'd call depression. Having a goal, something to lokk forward to, like a life outside of babies and children, does seem to improve some women's feelings.

    I work in an organsation that does include practitioners in that area and I always listen with ineterst to their anecdotes; very complex.

    Gotta dash, it's home time: yipeee :beer:
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