Friend with Debt

XiiD

Hi All

I've lurked here a lot but only post a little so please be gentle, I'm not sure if this is in the right section or not.

The problem I have is a friends single parent is in debt approx 9-12k and on the verge of being serviced notice to move out of their home(rented/ has been summoned to court). They are in full time permanent work, they have no local family other than there child who can support them.

Their child is now really suffering due to supporting their parent mentally and financially and they really cannot do it anymore but won't walk away from their parent as they fear what could happen to them or what they might do.

The parent is from what I've been told hiding and not facing this head on and is avoiding the debt only they have made amends to their life to spend less money they are still spending too much money on needless things. The child cannot forget the trouble their parent is in even though they don't want to accept any help and as a result is suffering in their own life (no rest no relaxing - their mind won't stop thinking)

The child has so far cleared some debts mostly 3k worth of debt and does have the money to clear the rest although this money wasn't saved for this and was meant for a house/education/career.

They have been to CAB who offered some solutions which the parent chose not to act on only leaving their child to act on and had back a letter which means the whole process is delayed further.

They have been to the parents bank and have been offered some suggests which they did try and act on a set up a repayment scheme for this huge overdraft.

Debts I know about/Ongoing bills - Rent arrears(debt/ongoing) television bill(debt) phone bill(debt) overdraft(debt/ongoing) council tax(ongoing) car insurance/road tax(ongoing - needed for work)

I know what I have provided is a bit vague but I feel if the person seen this they would know it was me posting this and they could see it as me crossing the line. What I want to know is has anyone here gone through this can you offer me any of your experiences that I can try and offer as support to these to close friends.

[Deleted User]

you could look into debt relief orders for her,although if car is worth more than £1000 its a non-starter

Sazzie23

Could you show friend - or child as they seem to be breadwinner - the DFW home page and see if they will get their own light bulb moment?

Its kind of you to show that level of concern, but I'm not sure you can fix it for them .... just keep being a friend ....

tiger_eyes

Only the debtor can solve this. If the debtor's child pays off the debts, the debtor will just rack them up again. Throwing money and emotion at this situation will only delay the inevitable moment when the debtor is finally forced to confront their own spending. That will be the debtor's lightbulb moment.