Time for a wake up call

Beginagain

I can't believe I am nearly in the same situation I was 3 years ago owing over £20k on credit cards and catalogues.

My story.........

I was in serious debt in 2010 owing nearly £40k when one of my family members paid the debt for me and I paid some of it back in monthly instalments then the debt was written off.

Now 3 years later I am now struggling to pay for the basics like food and clothing. I am at the limit on all of my cards and have even gone over the limit just to get by.

I work full time and so have an income each month but I am still struggling to meet all the payments. My husband does know that I have credit cards but he doesnt know the amount as the last time (in 2010) he went spare and I can't face going through that again.

To top things, I lost my mum in 2010 and have also suffered from depression for several years so I am really stuck as to what to do.

Is anyone able to advise me on where to start please? I have started an SOA so will post this on here later.

Many thanks in advance.

Tixy

Hi

The SoA does seem like the best place to start but alongside that I'd also try to work out where you have spent the money that has built your debts back up.
If you have run up £20k in 3years on cards and catalogues then it appears as though you are overspending by over £500 a month.

Do you and your husband keep your finances separate? are you splitting joint expenses fairly compared to your incomes? or are you trying to pay or 50% of costs on a much lower income than him?

Beginagain

Hi Tixy and others

We keep our finances separately and my overspending has been building up for a while and with the extra amounts of interest and charges for going over the limits, its added up quite quickly.

I earn more than hubby and I pay the mortgage and food bill while he pays the rest of the household bills.

I also have a car so I pay for the running costs, servicing, MOT etc.

I don't have anything to show to account for the debt as I haven't had a massive spend up or anything, its just been on food shopping, mortgage and the cost of buying breakfast and lunch onthe way to work each day. I am now taking my own coffee and lunch to work and having breakfast at home instead of buying something on the way to work which I hope will help to reduce things a little.

I have some things that I can try to sell on ebay so need to get myself motivated to get the listings done.

I think that doing an SOA will help me as well as give others the chance to see where I am going wrong and hopefully advise me where possible.

sourcrates

First thing I`d do is cut up the credit cards and don't be tempted to use them again, so easy to get into deep trouble with them, but today its almost expected that you have them, as you have been here before, you know yourself that you have to stop spending, and you say your taking steps to address this so that's a good start, see what the SOA says and can possibly advise more.

Shovel_Lad

Very good advice from Tixy and sourcrates.

This may sound harsh but I've been where you are (debt, depression, being bailed out) so I do know what I'm talking about.

I think from your posts here that you have never addressed the reasons why you are getting into debt.

You have also been bailed out by other people so maybe there's less reason for you to address these issues.

You've reported debts of £33k that where paid by re-mortgaging, £40k that your parents paid (yes, you paid some back but the rest was written off) and now debts of £20k+.
That's getting close to £100k of debt.

Why are you over spending?

This is the one question you need to answer. Not here (unless you want to) but to yourself. You need to be honest with yourself first.

If you don't you'll never be debt free and you'll be back here posting again about what can you do because you now have another £30k of debt or £40k.

MSE especially the DFW board is a wonderful helpful supportive place. Have a read of some of the diaries - there are some amazing inspirational diaries. Maybe start your own?

Do post a SOA as has been suggested.

The only way you're going to get out of the cycle of debt is to figure out why you're overspending.

dancingfairy

Various reasons for the overspending:
1) when you are feeling emotional about things and buying things you don't need.
2) amounts adding up quickly to a large amount (ie coffee and lunch at work). That can easily add up to 6 pounds per day which is 30 pounds per week which is 120 a month.
3) Actually having a higher living standard (or trying to) than you can afford on your wage. It is very tempting to think that because you work full time you can afford to run a car and have a holiday (and various other things) but with bills going up so much and wages stagnant it is becoming harder and harder for average families to cope. You also have the problem that it seems like everyone else can cope on their wages and run a car and have a holiday etc etc( the reality is probably very different).
As someone else said it matters not to us why you are overspending but you will need to identify it for yourself so you can get yourself back on track.
best of Luck
df