Funny overheard conversations in work

yvonne13_2

I don't know if the weather change has made people tired or what, but I must admit the best place for overhearing funny conversations last week was on the way to the kitchen.

Woman " Look at the state of my belly, I can't wait to get rid of it"
Man " Oh, what is that? Is it a beer belly?
Woman " No I've had children "

Manager " Can I get some training on the new phone system?"
BT Man " Dial 9... then your number... training done :eek:"

^^^That one nearly made me wet myself with laughter. :rotfl::rotfl:

Woman A "Ohhhhhhh when's your baby due?"
Woman B "I'm not pregnant :mad:"

Jonesy88

Person 1: "the printer isn't working, put can you do a note to tell people"
Person 2: "Ok"

5 minutes pass

Person 1: "Have you done the note?"
Person 2: "Yes - in word. I've sent it to the pr... bugg3r"

onlyroz

My colleague reported a "blue screen of death" to the IT service department today. He was asked to email the error message on the screen. "Erm no, I can't email anything because all I can see is a blue screen". Doh!

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

onlyroz wrote: »

My colleague reported a "blue screen of death" to the IT service department today. He was asked to email the error message on the screen. "Erm no, I can't email anything because all I can see is a blue screen". Doh!

Pity that was the only desktop, laptop or smartphone in the entire premises. Otherwise it would have been a simple thing to email them.

Artytarty

I overheard a man in his fifties on the bus last week saying to his girlfriend "I don't care, they can send me back to prison if they want, save me a few pennies over Christmas and you'll have the decorating done and the house all nice for when I get out in February" !!! What a charmer.

fake_smile

I sit with 2 girls who are....how do I put this....a little "blonde".

As a colleague came round to collect the weekly lottery syndicate money Girl 1 says "I'm sick of paying a £1 every week to get nothing in return"

Girl 2 "You know what we should do, instead of buying a lottery ticket we all put £1.00 per week in then at the end of the year we will put all our £1's together and share them out"

Girl 1 "wow, 52 weeks in a year, imagine how much we would get each if we shared it all out!"

Girl 2 is tapping into her calculator as I inform them it would just be the £52 they have put in...

hazyjo

A partner's having a conversation on loudspeaker in her office. The only thing I heard from the other person was...

"Have they peed on the carpet yet?"

(Luckily I know she's just got two kittens - although not everyone else has been informed, so God knows what they were thinking lol!)

Jx

FatVonD

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

Pity that was the only desktop, laptop or smartphone in the entire premises. Otherwise it would have been a simple thing to email them.

Most company emails in large organisations are specific to and installed on a particular computer and can't be opened on another.

They could of course (provided the job entailed everybody being connected to the internet) have emailed from a personal account on someone else's computer so long as they didn't mind emailing the IT department from sugartlts69@hotmail :rotfl:

aileth

FatVonD wrote: »

Most company emails in large organisations are specific to and installed on a particular computer and can't be opened on another.

They could of course (provided the job entailed everybody being connected to the internet) have emailed from a personal account on someone else's computer so long as they didn't mind emailing the IT department from sugartlts69@hotmail :rotfl:

Please don't give away my personal email :cool:

Gra76

As a manager at a builders most of the time I hear normal 'builder' related chitchat but this morning I overheard two of the lads (big burly !!!!!!s they are too) talking about getting a spray tan. One of them is booked in to have it done this weekend and the other wants to see the results before he does it too.

That was quite a surreal conversation considering they're usually talking about beer, women and football.

tesuhoha

I was in a queue in Asda the other day and there was a middle aged couple behind me. The man had a loud voice.

The man said to the woman

'You could do with some new underwear in your knicker drawer.'

The woman murmured something. The man said.

'Oh, I forgot, you don't wear knickers anyway, do you and when you do they don't stay on for long.'

The woman murmured something. The man said.

'Oh, I know I should keep my mouth shut. I have to watch what I say.'

Damage already done methinks.