debt spiralling dont know what to do

beccibaxter_2

everything was fine and rosy in my life until the end of august last year.
the day I came back from a lovely holiday abroad, my husband became ill. he woke screaming in pain and it turned out he has two bulging discs in his spine/neck. Surgery was offered but the consultant said it might make things worse! So he refused for now.
now im already unable to work due to illness so hubby was the main earner.
since having the stroke he has been unable to work and he is self employed.
I am now claiming esa and we get child tax credit, child benefit and I now get low rate care and high rate mobility dla.
the dss are helping with the mortgage. however I have mortgage arrears (thought we had ppi but turns out we don't), Lowell are chasing me for old mobile phone contracts (contract ended I didn't renew and now orange say I owe 1119 for termination fees?)
hubby took out a payday loan for £100 but as he couldn't pay it back and I didn't know about it, its excalated, I owe provident a bucket load of money and shopacheck and its my daughters birthday next month and I have literally no spare cash for a present for her.
I feel like the worlds worst mother and wife and I don't know how to get out of this mess. please someone help me.

shinner

First of all breathe. Someone with a lot more experience will be along soon. I would suggest doing a SOA in the mean time and posting. This will help people help. Good luck on your journey.

Horseunderwater

First thing to do is split your outgoings into essential and non essential.
Essential:
Mortgage
Council tax
TV
Utilities
Food
Building insurance - contents is a luxury right now.
Non essential:
Pay day loans credit cards etc. Just because they say you owe them money does not mean you have to pay it. At least at the moment.
How do you pay for the electric/Gas - if by Direct debit, see if the account is in credit with said companies and if it is cancel direct debit for say 2 months. Will save bank charges.
Explain the birthday thing to your daughter and just how worried you are about it all. Mine understood when we went through same. Food on the table is far more important than a birthday present. This is not about being a bad mother. You and your OH are both Ill. Is he getting ESA? If not why not, or has he been added to your claim and are you now on income related ESA.
Are you getting help with Council tax via local council tax support - if not why not.
If you are on income related ESA - then you should qualify for the warm home discount with your electric supplier - worth £135 this year. Google Warm home discount and your electricity suppliers name. Register with them and they will pay out in Feb next year.
Help is out there.

Sazzie23

Hi BecciB

great advice from horse underwater.
First get out your figures, banking, savings etc.
doing the SOA should show you what your outgoings are.
Don't get pushed into paying your creditors except the priorities, mortgage, utilities etc.

My situation meant I went to stepchange charity and set a DMP for debts, your situation may be different but I think you will find the website a helpful place to start.

Check out what debt agencies can and can't do. I stopped answering the phone to anyone except recognised numbers, this gave me the breathing space to sort it out. If I answered any by mistake, I said I was in financial difficultly but taking advice and I would get back to them, then hung up.

Come back here for more help. Lots other threads to help you but if overwhelmed, come back here.