How should I handle my boss's behaviour?

TrickyWicky

Nicki wrote: »

What raises alarm bells with me is that OP it turns out is having issues with other members of management, not just the one with the unfortunate manner. That does raise a question as to whether its her or them with the problem.

I can see you've not really worked in a victims position have you.

Management influence management. They have lunch's together, meetings together, employee discussions together and ultimately they scratch eachothers backs. You kind of sound like you're in management yourself to be honest so it's no real surprise that you're trying to turn this around on the op.

If an employee has a problem with one manager then it will spread to another manager just because one bad mouths the employee to the other manager. Thats how it works. I've only been in one employment where management would stand up against other management in defence of the staff - needless to say my life was made even harder for it.

The op has already made it clear that other people are also victimised by this employer so perhaps you should stop trying to blame the op for it while excusing the management.

Shawn_Dark

Yeah management get away with... murder!

Sad but true.

aileth

I don't have any advice except to get out ASAP.

I worked underneath a manager (in fact, yours sounds like me except for different gender) who was like this. It was in quite a top drawer shop and we only got a handful of customers during the week. She would watch you from upstairs on the cameras while stuffing her face with chocolate from the shop and ring the phone at the till downstairs to tell you to 'look' busy.

I would get phone calls down maybe 8 times during the day to stop cleaning because it 'looked bad' and to stand and greet by the door, then she'd call down 15 minutes later to tell me that I was being bone idle stood by the door and told me to clean, rinse and repeat.

I got disciplined because I booked holiday off with the deputy manager when this manager was on leave, and then also got accused of stealing and had my bag rooted through on more than one occasion, when it turned out she had cashed up improperly and wanted a scapegoat. I was also told to stand three metres away from them when they were cashing up as I might try and pinch from them.

We had a huge staff turnaround and she was ALWAYS the only one left. We might as well have had a rotating door.

It destroyed my confidence and my character and I turned really hateful. I left as soon as I could financially and boy now I look back and laugh at how pathetic they were. Before you leave though, keep your head down, yes sir, no sir, sorry sir, and then have a big smile when you hand in your notice.

Edit: I forgot to add, the clincher for me was when I asked for a day off the week following for my grandfather's funeral and it was greeted with "For f**k's sake."

TrickyWicky

@aileth - sounds like one of my neighbours! She's a short fat blob thats convinced the world is nothing but some sort of evil out to wreck her plans and life yet she'll create trouble at the first opportunity for anyone.

Weird isn't it.

Callie22

TrickyWicky wrote: »

What company WANTS a high turnover of staff and recruitment costs? - 13 members of staff in six months is pretty serious.

I once worked in a similar situation - the department I worked in had four f/t and one p/t staff member, and in less than two years seven been had been through the two more junior roles. The boss loved it. She was causing the problems but used it to her advantage - everyone else was an idiot, and the high staff turnover was a reason why the department wasn't performing (it wasn't, she was a terrible manager). The company were well aware that there was an issue in the department but as the boss was 'favoured' (i.e. her husband knew the CEO) there was nothing they could do.

In the end I walked away and it was the best decision I ever made - within three years I've been promoted three times and doubled my wage.

TrickyWicky

Callie22 wrote: »

The boss loved it. She was causing the problems but used it to her advantage - everyone else was an idiot, and the high staff turnover was a reason why the department wasn't performing (it wasn't, she was a terrible manager).

One of my old bosses was like that - he just loved causing trouble and upsetting people. I've no idea what motivated him or why but he absolutely loved it. Oh yeah hang on... he was a ginger lol

Anyway i was the first to leave but he'd already got one bloke so down he'd been off sick for a couple of months. Thing is, I was the only one with experience of the job - not even the boss knew what he was doing and on top of that I was doing the company other favours too. When I left it made a pretty big statement and left him in the ****. When I went back in a couple of times to sort things out he was trying desperately to show that he could cope - saying to the new guy things like "See how easy it is?" etc and the poor new bloke was clearly distressed lol.

Nastiest man I've ever worked for and he was intent on upsetting customers too.

MrsCorleone

@Nicki: I am certain that I'm not deliberately not doing things his or the companies way. I am good at my job and I work hard. Since being there I have been continually praised by customers for my good service and efficiency (which he is aware of), and I do my job whilst always trying to uphold the company standards and policies. This is why I'm getting so down about his constant and nasty jibes as you really can do nothing right in his eyes, no matter how hard you try.

And his issue just isn't with myself. As I said before, he is like this with other members of staff, mostly in the young and female demographic who he feels he can intimidate the most easily. The whole general feeling of all of the staff members is that they all feel constantly on edge when he's in. When I was only a month into my job I found one of the managers (who'd been there for years) crying in the toilet over him and they way he'd spoken to her. She also used the word bully. Herself, and 90% of the other people who have now left have all said the main reason they left is because of him. He also has a reputation amongst the industry that we work in (there's also a clinical side to it) of everybody knowing what he's like to work for.

As for the other manager having a problem with me, again, it's not something from my end. The other manager isn't really a manager technically, she's his assistant so all of the times she's had a go at me, it's probably come from him.

It's not that I don't like the way the store does things, I don't like the way HE does things. I think the company in itself is great to work for and I enjoy my job. I'd love to work for a different store, he is the only downside about it and it's a shame I feel like I'm being pushed out of a job I like because he's horrible to work for.

@TrickyWicky: Thanks so much for the support. I'm sorry that you've had to go through something similar too! I don't understand what motivates managers to be nasty to their staff, it makes no sense to me.Surely, happy staff equals a happy working environment and encourages loyalty and hard(er) workers. I don't know why they think that tense staff and low morale is good for business OR the customers.

When he was on holiday, our sales figures soared and we were passing targets every day for the whole duration. This was because we all felt a lot more relaxed knowing he wasn't in and watching us. This just proves that him being there affects our working performance. When he came back, targets took a dip again.

Thanks everybody for all of your advice! I'm going to look for another job. Such a shame as I enjoy the job and I get along so well with all of the staff and have made some good friends. But I can't continue to work for such a man as him any more.

Mojisola

MrsCorleone wrote: »

It's not that I don't like the way the store does things, I don't like the way HE does things.

I think the company in itself is great to work for and I enjoy my job. I'd love to work for a different store, he is the only downside about it and it's a shame I feel like I'm being pushed out of a job I like because he's horrible to work for.

When he was on holiday, our sales figures soared and we were passing targets every day for the whole duration. When he came back, targets took a dip again.

While job-hunting, I would be putting together a rational, objective letter setting all this out and, after leaving for a new job, I would send it to the company's head office. It might save other people suffering under this inadequate manager.

SilS

heretolearn wrote: »

Get another job.

You won't change your boss's approach. You won't teach him to treat people differently. You'll just be miserable there.

I worked for two bullies. One I felt trapped in the job for various reasons and stayed for years - he was just awful. I was the only one to stand up to him and in a sense it made things a bit better because he basically just blanked me and refused to talk to me unless he really had to after that, but it made work very difficult.

The next company I went to was also run by a bully, and I knew by the end of day 1 I'd immediately start looking for something else. Took me 3 months - but I got the best job I'd ever had so it all turned out well in the end.

You honestly cannot do anything to change these people. Get out.

That's true! Look for another job, there would be better opportunities for you, wish you luck!