Trying to arrange dp 40th party, HELP

traciemk

Hiya
blimey been a long time since i left a thread anyone need yours advice on this please.............................

Been with my partner since july 2006(nearlly a year) lol
well my partner is going to be the big 40 in feburary 2008
we dont live together yet, hes still got his own flat and ive got my council house looking at living together one day when we can get house bigger aonther for us all to live together but thats another story anyway

i know my partner would love a big party for his 40th( as himself and his family are really pleased he is still alive as about 8 years ago he had major ops and they did not think he would make it and die....
got chatting with him mum last weekend and she said to me, what am i arrange for rob(my dp her son) 40th birthday, she says oh he would love a party and she would like rob to have a big party for all the family to see how well he is doing.
Now am i being silly cos its starting to feel like im footing the bill for this big party, his mum said she will help arrange it and sort out what family can come.(very nice of her but does that means im paying for hire of hall, food, drinks and disco)
blimey i know i do 2 jobs but its only add up to a full time hours lol
then while she was chatting on about how lovelly rob party would be she said oh yeah rob ex wife sharon will have to come as well(they have been spilt up for 8 years now)
surelly that going to feel strange celabrating a party with currant g/f and ex wife in same room.
rob and his ex wife are still mates but not as close as when they were married if you know what i mean.
any way how can i afford all this
is it my duty as his g/f for one year to foot the bill
please please any advice
thanks

bluenose1

I think you need to put his mum straight. I would say I was thinking of doing a party but only a low key affair at home due to the cost. If she wants anything more let her pay herself.
Think she's got a cheek if she presumes you will pay.
If you don't feel comfortable having ex there then say so.

Good luck and don't let your self be forced into something you can't afford .

Volcano

To get this straight: It's his mother's idea for a party and it's her idea to invite his ex-wife?

Bluenose is right; Do whatever you feel is right and can afford.

Personally a posh dinner for two and maybe some friends around for drinks later would be my option. A lavish party for other people including my partners ex would be the LAST thing I'd ever consider!

kay41_2

I think you should broach the subject of money asap. I'm sure you could do it quite cheaply. I did my 40th on a budget and hired a venue, my brother did the music (mp3 player, amp and some speakers), I did the food, easy nibbly bits, I asked everyone to bring a bottle instead of a present, the flowers came from my garden (with a bunch of chrysanths from the market to pad them out), I designed and printed the invites myself, my mum made the cake and everyone mucked in. But don't feel forced into doing it - maybe quietly ask your dp as well, some people would hate a big party and his mum may have got it wrong. Also, if you are unhappy about the ex put your foot down! Good luck.