4 days to go and not feeling the excitement!

FBaby

All the preparations have gone absolutely brilliantly from start to finish, I should feel on top of the world now, really looking forward to the day, but I don't

For one, I am gutted that the weather forecast is going to be clouds and rain. This was my biggest concern and the only reason why I picked to be married in September, because in the last few years, September has been beautiful until the end, but of course, it has been beautiful but is all changing....just this week, grrrrr. I knew it could happen, but the fact that it is is getting to me. Silly really as let's face it, we are in England and if I wanted to insure perfect weather, we should have chosen to marry in the Caribbeans! I wasn't expecting perfect weather, just not a day of rain morning to evening. I am still crossing my fingers that it won't be the case!!

Also, just had a call from my mum this morning. My sister who is my bridesmaid might not be there. She has a medical condition that comes and goes. She has been fine for over 6 months, but sure enough, had a flare up last night She is signed off this week and they are still hoping to make it (long travel), but there is no guarantee. It will not be the same without her, especially if she is in hospital then...

Then we also have a relative of my OH who has been diagnosed with cancer who is due to be there Saturday. She had the operation, but is due to find out today the result of the biopsy....and there are chances that it won't be good news I don't know her well but know she is a wonderful person and the idea that she might get bad news is filling me with dread. I should have written this first as of course it is much more important than the weather, I am just a bit in denial about it.

I know I need to snap out of it because I do know it will be a wonderful day no matter what. It's a one off that means everything to me and so many people are coming and are very excited about it. I just imagined that I would be getting all excited and happy about it right now instead of feeling tired and that I could do with a quiet week-end!

Has anyone experience this feeling a few days before their big day?

CompBunny

*hugs* sorry to hear things are difficult in the run up to your big day.

Firstly, the weather. PLEASE try not to worry about this! From what I have heard from other brides, you spend the week before the wedding watching the forecast like a hawk but on the day itself you hardly notice the weather either way with all the adrenaline that is pumping round. If you get hold of a pretty umbrella just in case you can get some really romantic shots of the two of you snuggled beneath it I know its easy to say not to worry but everything WILL be ok on the day!

The matter of family health concerns must be very worrying and draining for you but in any wedding there will be guests who have huge worries hanging over them. A relative who has just died, a family separation/divorce, illness, redundancy threats, money worries. But weddings are a joyful time, and it is possible to feel both joy and sadness at the same time. Sometimes having something like a wedding to focus on for the day can help people have a short release! I really hope your sister is well enough to make it to the wedding, I'm sure she will be there if she possibly can.

I don't really have anything else to say apart from I can see why you are feeling so deflated but hope that your excitement will build as the day gets even closer Have you got any last minute weddingy bits and pieces you can do with your hubby-to-be to get excited about?

FBaby

Thank you for your very kind and sensible words. What you said about the weather is exactly what I needed to hear, and that make a lot of sense. A colleague of mine got married on the one Saturday a few weeks ago when it rained like cats and dogs the entire day despite the week before having been incredible (and the week after too). I felt totally gutted for her (and prayed it wouldn't be the case for my wedding), but when she came back in the office, she said that it hadn't mattered at all and she had had a fantastic time and I could tell from the smile in her eyes that it was totally genuine, so thank you for reminding me of this.

You are so right too about people experiencing difficult times and yet be able to enjoy the day. I need to focus on that part, making it special for them too regardless of their situation which I can do nothing about.

And excellent advice about doing something with hubby to be, indeed, I think we need to psych ourselves up together. He said I cursed the weather by being so negative about it. I know he didn't mean it this way and was joking, but it didn't help, so yes, we need to focus on the positive and get excited about it together.

Thank you very much, feeling a bit better already

duchy

My last wedding (I have another one in planning atm LOL) the morning was beautiful-as the cars arrived the clouds rolled in and during the ceremony we could hear the rain beating down.....as we opened the french doors from the ceremony room into the garden the sun broke out and we got all the photos we wanted ......and then headed for the reception -and it was still pouring when we left for Gatwick from the reception hours later.

It honestly didn't spoil the wedding in any way whatsoever -I don't even think about the weather when I remember the day. Unless you have something really weather dependant (like my friend who had a horse and carriage -who still loved every moment despite the fact it tipped down the whole trip to the church) it honestly and truely won't matter.

sdr2211

Hi there,
I got married on 17th August this year, on 16th and 18th the weather was lovely but on the day itself, despite the forecast saying it was likely to clear up later in the day - it rained and it rained and it rained a bit more! We still had a fabulous day, people enjoyed it and we got married which was the really important bit. The photographer managed to make it look generally like it was a summer's day, although we also have some brilliant one's of people with umbrella's and the wellies I had to borrow to walk up the path to the Chapel in.
I felt terrible the week before too - we decided to have a week away with family which was not the stress free experience I anticipated, partly because I still had so much to do and was completely out of contact (no mobile signal or wifi for the bulk of the time). The morning of my wedding, with friends and family around me - all that slipped away and having been a quivering wreck at the rehearsal the night before, I had a ball. And, everyone talks about the weather as a real feature of the day too! The only wish I have is that we managed to get a) a photo of everyone together and b) a confetti shot, but other than that, I have nothing but fabulous memories and pictures.

We had people who were in a similar position to you in terms of health issues and we also had family members who simply chose not to turn up rather than let us know for reasons we don't really understand. You don't know what people are dealing with as compbunny says, but that won't stop people enjoying themselves and being happy for you.
I really hope you have a fabulous day - try to focus on you and your future husband and let other people worry about everything else.

Stephb1986_2

A lady I know on one of the wedding groups on facebook her now husbands grandma sadly passed away two days before the wedding but they still went ahead and had a lovely day.

Sometimes the weather forecast isn't accurate so I wouldn't worry about it too much it's suppose to be good luck for it to rain on your wedding day even though you hate it lol.

Hugs

Steph xx

DueMarch11

Hi FBaby,

I assume its Saturday you get wed, we are Friday and like you I have been weather watching and its looking like its going to rain all day, typical lol. But I've decided not to stress about it because, at the end of the day, what can I do about it?!

Sorry to hear about your family members, keeping my fingers crossed for the both of them

Xxxx

FBaby

Thank you so so much for your messages, they have really cheered me up. I also had during that time the news that the family member had been given the whole clear. I am quite surprised as she was contacted by the hospital to ask if she would come with someone and told to bring someone when she said no. Who knows, but I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulder.

Hearing about other people lovely wedding tales despite the rain had also really lifted my spirit. I feel much more into it again, so thank you all. DueMarch, good luck on Friday, you're right, what's the point of stressing! I think I needed to get through the stage of acceptance and now that I have, it has become a 'oh well, never mind, let's move on!

sethsgran

Have a wonderful day. No advice about your fears but you clearly are in love and doing the right thing. Enjoy the last few days. Xx

CompBunny

That is fab news Fbaby Good luck for Saturday, I hope you have a wonderful day! Duemarch, good luck to you too for Friday! Hope you both come back with pics for us all

GlamGirlie

Take a pretty umbrella, maybe even buy some sparkly wellies if budget allows, that way you can have some 'singing in the rain' type photos.
Good luck, and above all - ENJOY! x x