Newbie Alert

LasVegas_2

Hi all

I am new here as i realise I need to gain control of my finances as I have been living way beyond my means as the username probably indicates.

How did you all cope when you realised you can't go out every weekend buy new outfits make up etc. also watching your mates all go on lovely holidays.

What did you fill your time with? How did you get over the change in life, I am struggling am not used to being in all weekend not being able to go shopping and having to listen to all my friends planning our next trip that I can't join them on. In a word how did you all learn to say NO I am really struggling.

Thanks

Las Vegas x

monnagran

Welcome Vegas. Don't worry petal, you'll soon be so attached to this forum that you won't have time to fret about all the things you are NOT doing. Gradually they will be replaced by very rewarding things that you CAN do.

It's hard when all your friends are leading a lifestyle that you can't join in but stick with us, sweetie. Your lifestyle will change over time, not immediately but gradually. You will learn about the fun you can have without spending shedloads of money. Yes, really.
You will find other friends who will be doing the same as you. Spending their weekends car-booting or having time to learn a new hobby.
Sounds boring to you at the moment maybe but give it a go.
Soon there will be loads of people on here with lists of things for you to do. Try the ones that appeal.

Honestly, there is more to life than shopping, new outfits and make-up. and you are about to find what it is.

God Bless.

x

Momomo_2

Hi Las Vegas,

It sounds like you've realised something has to change but that you're struggling with the lifestyle change. The problem at the moment (and all of us experience it) is that all you can see is what you're losing/what you've lost as a result of the lifestyle change. It's time to change your perspective on this all.

Why are you making this lifestyle change? Having a reason is key and try and make it more tangible than 'I'm living beyond my means'. It's important to recognise that going totally cold turkey will leave you feeling like you need a binge. Gradually cut out certain activities.

When saying no to activities what do you say in response? I find that saying, 'No thanks. I'll join you guys next time - I've got life admin to do'.

What did you enjoy doing as a child? Most of us didn't have much money as a child and yet we manage to stay entertained (even without mum and dad paying for us). I played tennis - I play tennis now and at £6 an hour it's far cheaper than a few hours in the pub but far more enjoyable and better for my health.

Hope this helps get you thinking about alternative activities and why you'll want to pursue them instead of shopping.

LasVegas_2

Hi monnagran

Thank you so much for the support I need a LOT at e moment as I to clear the debt I have which is around £13.5k eeck that's scary.

People don't understand why I have started saying no as I earn a reasonable amount but cannot tell people how much debt I am in I am ashamed of it but to go from partying every weekend in a new outfit going on loads of extravagant holidays out for dinner loads etc etc so good job I have been 'ill' the last couple of weekends bad I know but easier than saying I am ill.

Def need ideas for free things to do to fill my Saturday and Sundays as have had to cut my overtime as it was effecting my health so overtime is no longer an option for me!

Health before money!

Las Vegas x

LasVegas_2

Hi momomo

Thank you for your words much appreciated!

Overtime has had to stop as it was effecting my health so I can no longer maintain the lifestyle I had which I was living on a credit card - I know biggest mistake ever!

I will get there but it's goi to take a long time. Need to find someone who wants to do free things with me.

Cheers

Las Vegas x

fermi

Hi and welcome to DFW.

If you want to post an SOA etc or just want to know where to start then please see: DFW Newbies: Where to start, Challenges, SOAs, Nerds & Debt Free Roll of Honour!

theoretica

How many of those outfits don't you wear any more? You could sell them on ebay to fund the odd day out. And wearing the same outfit is so much more environmentally friendly!

As well as sport you could go on walks or jogs, perhaps with your camera. Many museums are free, so you can safely window shop in them. How about joining a choir? Invite your friends to join you - some would probably welcome a cheap day!

chevalier

You could always tell people you have decided to save for a mortgage or something...

ferf1223

I found this thread as I have a search for Vegas.

Congrats for making the decision to get control...it must be scary but you'll be so proud of yourself, I think.

It's always difficult to try to make changes like this when your circle of friends isn't necessarily on the same page for whatever reason...you don't have to tell your friends the amount of debt but maybe just say that you're trying to watch your spending a bit as you don't want your CC to get out of control...or saving for something big like a mortgage as suggested.

As for things to do- I appreciate it's not necessarily the sort of thing that would be everyone's cup of tea - but it's pretty much free (it can have a cost but doesn't have to), can take up as much or as little time as you want and gets you out and about to see things maybe you didn't know were there - or you knew were there but you never went to them before...that's geocaching...basically a 'high tech treasure hunt' using GPS to find things hidden all over the world. If you have a smartphone with GPS there are free apps (c:geo for Android, not sure for iPhone)...worth looking into...there are caches in cities and in the woods - all over really...you'd probably be surprised to see just how many are around you and you didn't know. Some will be boring and just a cache for the sake of it...but many are people saying 'hey come find this and see this cool place/thing that's here'.

Many are small (film cannister size, some smaller) and just to find and sign the log inside...some are big and have things ('swaps') in them - take something and leave something, in most cases it is not particularly exciting stuff but sometimes there are neat things...for some people (like me) there is something really satisfying about hiking out into the woods (not too far) and finding a big tupperware container hidden somewhere in the middle of the woods and flipping through the log to see that it's been there for 6 or 7 or 8 years and all these people have found it before...but most people don't even know it's there.

Worth considering if it sounds at all interesting...and sorry I ramble about it a bit - it's kind of hard to explain really.

https://www.geocaching.com

Paddington123

Hello Ferf1223
thank you for the link about geocaching. I've never heard of anything like it before but it sounds really interesting.

monnagran

Whatever sacrifices you have to make, you will find that seeing your debts diminish every month gives you immense pleasure. Don't forget that once you've paid the minimum off on each one if you've any money over pay some off the debt with the highest interest. When that's paid off you plough any extra money into the one with the next highest interest rate and so on. Your spirits will grow lighter as the debts disappear. But you will never, never go back to the high spending life style you had before. You will have found pleasure in simpler ways of living. Promise!

x