This Time I'm Really Going To Do It

LadyGnome

Anything he may be able to argue is his I would return to him.  Anything you don't particularly care about but would mean he has to do something to sort it out I would definitely return to him.  Be ultra reasonable in a helpfully unhelpful way.  Catalogue everything that you are giving to him, box it up, put it somewhere safe (but inconvenient if possible) then send a letter to him via his solicitor listing everything that you are returning to him.  That way you have proof of what you returned, it becomes his problem and it costs him money for his solicitor to read a long list of household items etc.

Suffolk_lass

LadyGnome said:

Anything he may be able to argue is his I would return to him.  Anything you don't particularly care about but would mean he has to do something to sort it out I would definitely return to him.  Be ultra reasonable in a helpfully unhelpful way.  Catalogue everything that you are giving to him, box it up, put it somewhere safe (but inconvenient if possible) then send a letter to him via his solicitor listing everything that you are returning to him.  That way you have proof of what you returned, it becomes his problem and it costs him money for his solicitor to read a long list of household items etc.

and anything that it could be argued that you contributed to can be divided in half in terms of attributed value. Book resellers, for example...

Watty1

OK, this is great advice.  I have helpfully placed the 5 books from the office in his room.

For future items i will start a spreadsheet recording each item and what i have done with it.   I can share the link to the spreadsheet with his solicitor.  Anything i am selling on e bay i can then list with costs  Mostly I am selling personal items like clothes, handbags and so on but i have put a few DVDs on there so I can list those   As we all know this amounts to very little on e bay and will probably cost more for his solicitor to read!    Stuff i am clearing i would have donated I will just box up and tell him where the box is.   At a later date I can donate the box as is.   At least it gets it dealt with now.

i will also charge my time for clearing and cleaning I think.  

Alchemilla

LadyGnome said:

Anything he may be able to argue is his I would return to him.  Anything you don't particularly care about but would mean he has to do something to sort it out I would definitely return to him.  Be ultra reasonable in a helpfully unhelpful way.  Catalogue everything that you are giving to him, box it up, put it somewhere safe (but inconvenient if possible) then send a letter to him via his solicitor listing everything that you are returning to him.  That way you have proof of what you returned, it becomes his problem and it costs him money for his solicitor to read a long list of household items etc.

Another cracking idea!

Alchemilla

Watty1 said:

OK, this is great advice.  I have helpfully placed the 5 books from the office in his room.

For future items i will start a spreadsheet recording each item and what i have done with it.   I can share the link to the spreadsheet with his solicitor.  Anything i am selling on e bay i can then list with costs  Mostly I am selling personal items like clothes, handbags and so on but i have put a few DVDs on there so I can list those   As we all know this amounts to very little on e bay and will probably cost more for his solicitor to read!    Stuff i am clearing i would have donated I will just box up and tell him where the box is.   At a later date I can donate the box as is.   At least it gets it dealt with now.

i will also charge my time for clearing and cleaning I think.  

Ultra reasonable, after all he was the one being pernickety about goods and chattels.

Watty1

Love all the comments and enthusiasm.  Spreadsheet underway and a pile of stuff from office that could be considered joint accumulating under my desk. 

In other news of a more important nature the bracken clear is nearly finished.  Huge amount of work but a large chunk of the field has been cleared now.  That leaves a very overgrown section.  The tractor does not work.   That is my technical explanation of what is wrong, for those wanting more detail it has something to do with the starter motor. For those wanting more details I am not mechanically minded and that is the best I can do .  The topper does not work because I broke the prop shaft.  A new one is here but it is too long and needs cutting down apparently.  How?? I have no idea.  So I rang the local farmer and had a lovely chat with him.

He isn't entirely sure my bracken clearing plans will work but if it does not then he will pop round and spray under the cover of darkness!    In the meantime he is sending someone with working equipment to mow the field that needs mowing.  I walked around it at lunchtime and I am so happy to realise that I am actually reclaiming part of the land and treating it appropriately if perhaps in a somewhat slapdash manner.

Am sure the ex would not have broken so much. Am equally sure he would not have attached the project with so much enthusiasm.   Farmer offered a special priced deal on the mowing partly to encourage me and partly I am sure because  he realises he will be paid for fixing the equipment if I keep it.  Obviously if i do not keep it the ex can do what he likes and the broken stuff is his problem.    I think his plan is to sell it to the same farmer who is primed to sell it back to me anyway!

Alchemilla

Watty1 said:

Love all the comments and enthusiasm.  Spreadsheet underway and a pile of stuff from office that could be considered joint accumulating under my desk. 

In other news of a more important nature the bracken clear is nearly finished.  Huge amount of work but a large chunk of the field has been cleared now.  That leaves a very overgrown section.  The tractor does not work.   That is my technical explanation of what is wrong, for those wanting more detail it has something to do with the starter motor. For those wanting more details I am not mechanically minded and that is the best I can do .  The topper does not work because I broke the prop shaft.  A new one is here but it is too long and needs cutting down apparently.  How?? I have no idea.  So I rang the local farmer and had a lovely chat with him.

He isn't entirely sure my bracken clearing plans will work but if it does not then he will pop round and spray under the cover of darkness!    In the meantime he is sending someone with working equipment to mow the field that needs mowing.  I walked around it at lunchtime and I am so happy to realise that I am actually reclaiming part of the land and treating it appropriately if perhaps in a somewhat slapdash manner.

Am sure the ex would not have broken so much. Am equally sure he would not have attached the project with so much enthusiasm.   Farmer offered a special priced deal on the mowing partly to encourage me and partly I am sure because  he realises he will be paid for fixing the equipment if I keep it.  Obviously if i do not keep it the ex can do what he likes and the broken stuff is his problem.    I think his plan is to sell it to the same farmer who is primed to sell it back to me anyway!

This last bit is hysterical!

Humdinger1

Yes, cue the maniacal laughter! Xx

Watty1

Busy few days.  The new pony has been collected and is settling in nicely.  The rescue never came through so it all worked out in the end and I have been super busy.  The mowed field is just lovely.  So lovely that i sat up there with a glass of wine and had "an idea".   Decided "idea" was fuelled by wine but "idea" did not go away.   So the last few days have been spent researching "idea".   I will be leaving my rented property at the end of the month and had found a nice house to buy to move into and leave the ex to his own life.  However the mortgage was not as easy to get as I hoped and whilst I can get one I will be left without funds to settle if and when the ex ever does and that sort of defeats the object.   And so the "idea"

I've always wanted to live on the fields with the horses.  And after 4 days of research I think I can do just this and on a budget too.   A man is coming to do a site visit tomorrow to check the logistics.    I'm viewing a "property" I've found on Facebook tomorrow evening.  

If this works out then the ex can do as he chooses.  I will simply be living "next door" although some considerable distance away.  Fingers crossed.

Will need to seriously declutter personal belongings as I currently live in a gorgeous 1 bedroom 1 dressing room huge bathroom huge kitchen huge sitting room rental so watch for more on that!

Watty1

I've just posted on one of the main boards but I'll add my question here just in case anyone has any experience. I need to sell a lot of clothes (as losing my gorgeous dressing room).   I've a couple of dresses on bay of e but they are not getting sold. I'm wondering if sites like Vinted are worth trying?