This Time I'm Really Going To Do It

AlexLK

Not feeling particularly articulate tonight, so I apologise for my prose. Sorry to hear there are people on here struggling at the moment. Ultimately, we need to do what is right for us but that can be awfully difficult sometimes.

Watty1

smallholdingsister wrote: »

No. Sorry. Didn't your neighbour leave you a house? Or wrong person?

ohhh I wish - but - no - wrong person!

Watty1

apple_muncher wrote: »

Just wanted to mention:

We moved mum in to a care home in April. It is a great place, very dementia friendly. Cheaper by far than other places we had looked at (and rejected as 'no way are we letting our mum live there') but still costing an arm and a leg. We have bought a 'plan', basically an annuity that guarantees mum's costs for life. Obviously, her pension goes towards costs too. Anyhow, just thought it might be worth a look. I can honestly say that the peace of mind it brought us is priceless. (We used a company called Eldercare). Don't know anything about the 117 care order, so this may not be relevant - ignore if you need to!

Thanks for this. We have however very little choice in care homes - there was only one that would take him due to the schizophrenia. Lots claim to be dementia friendly but will not take him in case the schiz kicks in. Sadly I suspect his muscle weakness that makes him mostly bedbound was caused by being sedated so he couldn't get out of bed whilst in a general hospital because the general couldn't cope with the psychosis and the psychiatric unit wouldn't take him because he needed physical hospital care. Its been a vicious circle ever since.


Under 117 we theoretically can claim a chunk of his care costs if care is for the mental health aspect. But just now it seems to be physical. I know it sounds bad but I've just given up on it all.

apple_muncher wrote: »

ps I really do not think that you and Mr W should be considering looking after Mr W Senior, as it would destroy your health (mental and physical).

Yes, I agree with this. It has been a tough call to make and we chat it over at least once a week to re-decide this.
And there is always the worry the old boy will outlive us!! He comes from good stock, most of his side of the family make it to late 90s.

apple_muncher

It is indeed a very tough call to make, and one that only you can decide for yourselves. It's good to hear that you and Mr W talk about it regularly, and keep coming to the same decision. Sometimes doing nothing (or rather, doing nothing yet whilst being fully aware of the situation and all its ramifications) is the only way to go. Mr W senior is safe, fed, housed and looked after - let that give you some peace.

smallholdingsister

Sorry Watty.

How is Most Handsome?

Watty1

smallholdingsister wrote: »

Sorry Watty.

How is Most Handsome?

Gorgeous
Went beautifully in a lesson earlier in week and planning nice hack tomorrow if weather holds. Would have gone today but stuck in office working. I would grumble but working on "end of year financials" and it is what gives us the ability to overpay so I am blessing it.

Karmacat

Omigod, Watty. You're dealing with a horrendous level of stress around your FiL. I agree with apple, talking about it with MrW regularly is the way forward - and then dropping it and being with Most Handsome and ex-feral kittie too, for that matter. Giving yourself something good, like being with affectionate animals, is crucial when you've got all this going on.

Sending lots of positive vibes and affection your way.

Watty1

Thanks KC. I think we have lived with the stress so long we forget it is a stress if that makes sense. It was, in part, I think a contributor to me being so ill earlier in the year.

Karmacat

I'm sure you're right about both those things - I ignored background stress for so long that it caused the chronic fatigue I now go through, I'm completely sure of that, so I'm quite hot about it when I see it now I'm glad you see it too.

Watty1

Back from hols. My goodness Sweden was an expensive country! But back and with enthusiasm for rebuilding everything.
All washing being done and office getting straight