I'm crap with money - its official

headoutthesand

Hi Beetle

Sorry to hear your so upset but i can totally sympathise with you.

I am in charge of our household finances and although i like to find out how much we spend it si also an enormose amount of pressure to carry.

I only came clean to my DH 2 weeks ago but what a relief. I told him i didn't think it was fair for him to blame me for bank charges when his name is on the account too.

If he was really interested he could ask me, phone phone banking, check balance before withdrawing money etc but he didn't so he is not totally blameless.

You probably blame yourself cos you do all the shopping and maybe not everything is justified - so you just need to tighten the purse strings.

Shop in Aldis, lidls etc. I only noticed today that the tiny fromage frais yougarts are 58p for 12 in lidl compared to 43p for 6 no frills in morrisons.

Have you thought of maybe getting a part time job one night a week when your DH is home? that way you won't pay an extra days childcare, get to spend time with your child during the day and chances are that the job might be cash in hand too (not that i am in any way encouraging tax evasion (sp)).

I have started working 2 nights a week in a family chippy so it gets me out the house and i really really enjoy it.

Join quidco for cashback on a lot of websites - it's not a lot but it adds up.

You mentioned a bank account - open an a&l bank acount through quico and get £50 cash back......walah....an extra £50 for opening something you needed anyway.

I started using distilled vinegar in the wash instead of fabric softner and it has been the best money saver of all. The clothes do not smell and are vcery soft. I ahve a 4 month old so the clothes need to be soft. I can safely say i will be reluctant to use FS again.

Your electricity does seem high. Turn your boilerr down to 60, have it on timed for a few hours early in the morning and it will do you the full day. Use a clothes airer during the day and finish the clthes in the dryer to soften them instead of drying them from scratch.

Use energy saving lightbulbs too.

If i think of anything else i'll let you know.

You have done well telling your husband - he has to face up to whats going on and it does make things a bit easier when you can talk about it together.

Keep us updated

sammy115

How old is your little one?

Before you ask for extra hours have a really good think about it.. I found that working hard with children meant I come home from work knackered which means I grab ready made meals and crap food = expensive! Also cost of getting there plus food for lunches etc.

I also wondered about your urge to splurge. Could you have a touch of PND? I have come to realise that I will always have the urge to splurge (although I am getting better!) but when I am down it gets worse.

As someone else has said it is an enormous responsibility managing finances on your own and should be shared. If it is shared then perhaps the two of you can keep a check on each other.

Good luck!

azjh77

If you ever know your DD's are going to bounce, pop into the bank and cancel them, phone whoever it is, tell them you will pay them when you have money. I was always doing this, bit of a pain, but saves on bank fees. Then I set the DD back up again.

By the way, Barclays just paid out on my fees!!! So good luck with that, and welcoe to DFW.

Sea78

HI Beetle - how are you feeling today? I hope things are ok with you.

Sea xx

Mrs_Dawn

Welcome Beetle, posting on here is the best move you have ever made, believe me I know. There is a light at the end of the tunnel.
All the experts on here will point you in the right direction.
Big hugs.:grouphug:

jo1972

Hi Beetle :wave:

Welcome to the board and congratulations on facing up to your crapness with money! We are/were all in the same boat at some point so there will be no one to judge here, just help and support.

As someone has previously posted, definately go over to the 'Old Style' board, you will get great tips on cooking and cleaning on a smaller budget. Meal planning and cooking from scratch will save you TONS of money, although it does take some getting used to. I've only been doing this for 2 weeks and still only managing to be organised for half a week and then go to pot, but I am getting better especially since I bought my slow cooker, means I get to spend more time with my kids too rather than being stuck in the kitchen preparing a meal.

Here's the link to the OS board:

http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/forumdisplay.html?f=33

Another thing that I've just started doing which I know is gonna save me loads of money is doing my grocery shopping online. I signed up with Asda and got a £10 off voucher (although if you google Tescos, Sainsburys etc. for codes you'll find £5, £10 and free delivery codes too). I spent £78 and that was purely what I needed for the next 8 or 9 days meals. Normally I'd go into Tesco and spend £100 and come out with 2 meals :eek: so from now on online grocery shopping is the way to go for me. No sneaky packet of biscuits or choc bars crept into my trolley, dontcha just hate it when that happens . Plus I couldn't get tempted by those 'buy 1 multipack of 36 bags of crisps, get one free' offers cos I didn't have to walk past it, just purely clicked on what I needed in my list and that was it!

Sorry I'm rambling... well done for coming this far and good luck with becoming debt-free!

Jo.x

Beetle

hi everyone just so you know I put my SOA on a new thread today entitled "My SOA - read it and weep".
Hope to hear from you soon
x
PS Spoke with lovely work colleague (I thought I was badly off) who's referred me to a lovely person at the CAB for financial advice.
PPS Boss has offered me an extra day's work - permanent, I've accepted. Will still be £120/mth better off even after childcare.

DawnW

Hi Beetle,
You say you are CRAP with money. Well, maybe you are, and maybe it is just that it actually is pretty expensive bringing up kids, or at least it can be, especially during times when interest rates and inflation are rising. I got into debt when mine (3 of them) were little as well, AND when they were bigger and I had to pay for them all to go to college - but I got out of it as well, 'cos guess what - as Martin and others on here point out, you can LEARN to be good with money, it is a learned skill, not something you are just born with, and you can learn it too. What is more, you can then pass this learning on to your children. Right here is a good place to start - you are lucky, there wasn't MSE when I was in debt, so I had to go it pretty much alone, without the support of this great community. It may be a long-seeming journey, but you CAN do it, there is lots of support and good advice on here, and on the old style board as well. It can get addictive too, just like spending (used to be)!
Hugs and best wishes,
D.