International Debt - Weird situation?

HOK3Y

Hello,

I am new to the forums and I think my story is a little different to most but similar in many ways too. I have spent 15 years living abroad due to my first husband's job. He decided to tell me 3 days after we married that he was $40,000 in debt.....which meant I was too. I could've died. In the following 2 years, we were bombarded with abusive letters, phonecalls (to this day I am wary of the phone because of it), legal proceedings, you name it. And I was in a foreign country, away from my family, and my US Army officer husband had dumped me right in it. At least, that was how it felt.

Fast forward over a decade and 2 children later and I finally left him. In my desperation to be away from him, I signed away a lot which I know I should not have done. Basically, he walked away with the house (although he is planning on running out on the mortgage this summer when he moves back to the US), the pension fund, everything - and I was left with debt. Could I kick myself? Yes. Do I dwell on it everyday? No. I have to accept and move on. And I am. Do I tell friends who are thinking of divorce to knock off the friendly approach and go for the jugular? Yes I do! Live and learn!

Oh, and am I happily remarried which burns him to this day? Yup!

Anyway, we moved back to the UK last summer and it has been rough. Finally, I have a decent job that I love and hubby continues to work at it - he has been promoted twice in the last year and is still rising. My divorce has left me with a lot of debt - all held in the USA, none here although since I have lived outside of the UK for so long I do not have any credit history! Urgh! Just getting a mobile phone contract was a nightmare! This also means we can't even think of a mortgage for at least another year and only if we can work up a good downpayment.....and I do have a plan for that!

I have worked my tail off these last 3 months and have sold lots of things that we simply do not need and I have managed to pay off one bill almost completely - only $233 remains and it will be gone next week. After that, I have $9500 in unsecured credit in the US and our car loan there of about $11500. We have a good chunk of free cash each month to apply to those bills and I have mapped out that if we knuckle down we can be debt free by this time next year and that doesn't take into account any extra cash that may come our way (and given that I am an Ebay nut I am pretty sure extra pennies will come calling).

I suppose the good thing is that the US debts do not affect me here other than having to ferry money back to pay them off. I won't run out on a debt - I owe it, I'll pay it. The $9500 is tied to our US current account anyway and my God have that bank been fabulous with us. I wouldn't jeopardise that relationship for anything. Wish I could say the same for HSBC....

I have also promised myself that we will never hold a UK debt other than a mortgage. Even for a car, we will buy when we can pay cash. The small credit card I have here now I pay off in full every month purely to build my credit back up. I refuse to pay a penny in interest. Doing more than enough of that Stateside!

Looking forward to falling under $20k which should happen by the end of September. Thank you for all the motivating threads and stories here that have given me even more of a nudge in the right direction. The support you show others here is incredible.

[Deleted User]

HOK3Y wrote: »

He decided to tell me 3 days after we married that he was $40,000 in debt.....which meant I was too.

Are you sure about that?

I don't know a lot about US law, but I find it hard to believe that, by marrying someone, you become responsible for their debts.

HOK3Y

Those debts changed over time. When we married and moved to Washington State, those original debts became jointly mine as that state considers married parties jointly responsible - regardless of when the debt was incurred or whose name they are in. During the marriage, we paid off debts with other debts, some of which were in my name. Stupidity? Absolutely.

roxy7699

Your motivation is great. Keep it up.