Solution required - but can't find one.

peachyprice

Deleted_User wrote: »

At this age I think they do come as a package otherwise when do I get a break. He isn't offering anything else and is only offering this week as he would be going anyway for himself .

You do the same as he has, you tell him when you are going. And he can take time off work/make arrangements for the children while you are away.

He's a parent, he's going to have to sacrifice some of his 5 weeks holiday a year to look after the children, same as he would if you were still together, he can't just take time when it's convenient for him.

If you take a week out during term time can his parents do the school runs?

itsanne

meritaten wrote: »

on this page all I have seen is 'You' and 'His' responsibilities - what about the 'Kids'? your DD finds this sort of event boring after one day at an event - and you expect her to spend SIX days being bored out of her mind? so that you both fulfil the 'requirements'? stop being so bloody selfish and think of the kids! I can sympathise with DD - I would be bored silly after five minutes!
grow up and THINK about how you can give both children quality time with dad - without putting yourself first.

Ouch! Have we been reading the same thread? That's not how the OP has come across to me - not by a long way.

Funky_Bold_Ribena

Deleted_User wrote: »

Because he says he hasn't got the money and work is too busy for him to take off 2 weeks over the summer holidays.

And you have?

If he hasn't got the money then he can't go to Blandford. It's called 'sacrifice'. If he didn't want to sacrifice any holidays and money then he should have put a hood on it.

Person_one

poet123 wrote: »

I think that you are going to have to accept that your ex, as a man, is going to have more in common with your son and as such will naturally want to organise things that appeal to him more.

That's such a sad view of father/daughter relationships, as well as just not being true.

I really feel for your daughter OP. It seems as if your ex is clearly favouring his son and isn't even trying to hide it, if that carries on there could be some serious difficulties down the line.

neverdespairgirl

Person_one wrote: »

That's such a sad view of father/daughter relationships, as well as just not being true.

I really feel for your daughter OP. It seems as if your ex is clearly favouring his son and isn't even trying to hide it, if that carries on there could be some serious difficulties down the line.

I agree - my sisters, brother and I did things with both our parents together, and sometimes with just one of them, depending on who was interested in what, but it wasn't along gender lines of boys do X and girls do Y!

My Dad, for example, goes sometimes to watch Charlton play football, with one of my sisters and my brother. My Mum, other sister and me would rather spend the afternoon watching paint dry, so we don't go.

poet123

Person_one wrote: »

That's such a sad view of father/daughter relationships, as well as just not being true.

I really feel for your daughter OP. It seems as if your ex is clearly favouring his son and isn't even trying to hide it, if that carries on there could be some serious difficulties down the line.

What I really meant is that the ex will need to work harder to find things that his daughter is interested in whereas typically (though obviously, not always) it will come easier to him to do that for a son.

I don't think the fact that he is wanting to take a son who is interested in x as opposed to a daughter who isn't is favouring the son. If the daughter had been the interested party and he had still wanted to take the son that would be the case.

FBaby

he said to her if you have found the 1 day thing boring, then you won't enjoy blandford, maybe you should stay with Mummy!! He gave her the option of not going in front of me, putting me on the spot in front of his parents. I didn't think rapidly enough through all the consequences so agreed for her sake. I see now that was a bad decision.

Well that is the part that you should be angry about. He had no right to put you on the spot and make a promise to your daughter that relied on you to fulfill. I can imagine you not responding as you would have if you'd had the chance to think about it and discuss it.

On the basis of the above, I think you are doing the right thing by leaving it open for your daughter, and not plan how to make sure this doesnt happen again for future holiday planning.

In regards to father/son's interest, i think it is more common for same sex parent/child to share more interests in common, but it doesn't have to be. I had more interests in common with my dad than mum growing up (sports), and I now have more in common with my son than my daughter (sports again!).

It is not easy to find things they both enjoy doing, however, I am lucky that despite being pre/teenagers, they get along brilliantly. Whatever holiday we arrange, I always try to make sure both get to do some things they enjoy, even if in the end, one will probably have nicer memories of that particular trip than the other.

Mojisola

FBaby wrote: »

Whatever holiday we arrange, I always try to make sure both get to do some things they enjoy, even if in the end, one will probably have nicer memories of that particular trip than the other.

Friends of ours had a boy and a girl with very different interests so they made a rule that, on holidays, all four family members could chose sometime special they wanted to do or a place to visit and everyone else would go along and not make a fuss/pull faces/be grumpy/or otherwise spoil the day!

FatVonD

There are plenty of other attractions in Dorset, I think you should send your DD with them and make it perfectly clear that it's her holiday as well as theirs and that you are expecting 50% of their time in Dorset to be spent doing things *other* than the steam fair.

rozmister

FatVonD wrote: »

There are plenty of other attractions in Dorset, I think you should send your DD with them and make it perfectly clear that it's her holiday as well as theirs and that you are expecting 50% of their time in Dorset to be spent doing things *other* than the steam fair.

FARMER PALMERS!!!!!!!!!!! Love that place.