Going to court to get Access to my Children

nipper76

My Ex stopped me having regular contact to my children back in march when she found out i had started seeing somebody...

*** I split up from my Ex about 3 years ago. She has been in a relationship for about a year and is about to give birth to her 4th child in September ***

I used to have my 3 every Saturday, taking them to school on Monday morning, and on a Wednesday after school, dropping them to school on Thursday morning before work.

This all changed because she didn't like that I had finally moved on with my life.
I Get to see the kids every now and then which would appear to be when its convenient.
I get many texts daily containing general abuse, threats, gloating that she now gets CSA (we had a mutual agreement before) or about how she gets to see the kids growing up... the latest is that its my youngest's birthday in a few weeks and that I'm not allowed to see her.

I've Kind of been burying my head in the sand over the subject because she's worn me down.
I tried a solicitor to be told I would be looking of fees of around £1700 by the first court hearing, and that doesn't guarantee anything.

Hearing that was a big knock to me as there's no way in hell I could afford that on my wages. Well, not as quick as they would like it anyway.

I'm now TRYING to get my !!! into gear to somehow fight this by myself...
I've filled in forms C1a - C008 - C100
But I remember the solicitor saying something about a statement....??

What should this contain...??
Are there any templates about..? as I know I will ramble on about stuff that is probably irrelvent.

Can text messages be used..??
I have kept a complete log of our conversations on my phone, and backed up on the computer.

Many Thanks for any help.

puppy999

If you don't have a court order against you stopping you from seeing your children then you came just take them, as that is what a fiend of mine as just done ...........

Carl31

My sons step dad has just won custody of his biological son, so it can be successful

But, it can be a very costly process for both parties, I think in my example it cost both sides 10k each. So 20 thousand pounds for a boy to live where he wanted to in the first place

Have you tried resolving this amicably? How old are your kids and what is there view? Do they want to live at yours? As that will be a factor in the court case

skintandscared_2

puppy999 wrote: »

If you don't have a court order against you stopping you from seeing your children then you came just take them, as that is what a fiend of mine as just done ...........

I don't think just taking children would be a step in the right direction towards gaining proper regular access, do you? I think your ironic misspelling of the word "friend" is quite apt.

nipper76

I would LOVE to have my children live with me, but thats not the answer at the moment.

Firstly i just want to get a contact order so i can see my children regularly.
I dont have grands to spend. so 1 step at a time.

I just need to rite this position statement is it..? to go with the other forms i need to submit to the court to get the ball rolling.

just im completely stumped on the writing the statement.

PintAndAPie

The position statement is just a simple document that will be handed to the judge telling him/her why you have come to court, what outcome you want and why you think the court should agree to what you want. It might look something like this :

Court name
Case Number
Your name and address
Your ex's name and address

I have come to court to secure an agreement for regular access to my children, children's names, between myself and my ex partner, partner's name.

I would like my children to stay with me every Wednesday night and every weekend at my home.

My children have previously been staying with me at my home from dd/mm/yyyy to dd/mm/yyyy with no problems for the requested times but this access has been refused. I can provide a safe, loving environment for my children and believe we will all benefit from an arrangement that gives consistent access.

Signed nipper

---

You can obviously expand on this as much as you like but the last thing the court want to see is derogatory comments about your ex, just stick to the facts about what you want and why, your statement should not be any more than a couple of pages at the very most. The text messages, while unpleasant, are not the issue here so there is nothing to be gained by bringing them up in court and are not relevant to your position statement. When you get to court you will give a copy of the statement to the usher who will give it to the judge, you should also take a copy to give to the other side and a copy for yourself to keep.
It's a long road but you've taken the first steps, just concentrate on the outcome and good luck.

Voyager2002

Before spending a fortune on going to law, see if there is any way to resolve it through mediation. Presumably your ex believes that she has some reason for her actions, and if you were able to find out what it is and resolve it then that could be a better solution. (Perhaps she believes that your new partner would be a bad influence on the children, so if you were able to agree that your OH would not be around when the children were with you that might be some kind of short-term solution.)

Do be aware that many women in your ex's situation simply ignore contact orders, and there is very little that the courts can do to punish them.

And I urge you to write to your MP making the point that not only your but also your children suffer from this situation, and from the delay to resolving it because you need to save up to pay legal costs. At one time legal aid was available in this situation.

Oh: of that 1700 pound figure, how much was made up of court fees? While you will have to pay what your lawyer charges, you may find that court fees are reduced or waived because you are on a relatively low income. Ask at your local county court (family section) for details. You could ask your lawyer, but would probably be charged for the trouble of telling you.

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel

puppy999 wrote: »

If you don't have a court order against you stopping you from seeing your children then you came just take them, as that is what a fiend of mine as just done ...........

And I can guarantee you that if the OP turned up and tookthem then the ex would slam in for an emergency residence order through thecourts. It is the worst thing the OP could do. Whilst he has rights – so doesthe ex. Currently, although there is no court order, the ex has the “main” care– should the OP remove the children from the main care without doing it throughthe courts it can (and probably will) go against the OP

iammumtoone

I suggest trying mediation first, the court would like to see this has been attempted before going through them. If your ex refuses to co-operate with this then this could perhaps be mentioned in your statement? again just stick to facts not personal reasons why you didn't think she would co-operate. Make sure you get the mediation people to ask her to attend as if she doesn't they will supply you with a letter stating that she refused which you could produce if asked.

As a side note it is very scary how one parent can just stop access and the other parent can't do anything about it without costing money or hassle. It does seem unfair that the PWC can go through CSA at no cost to get the NRP to pay (which I agree with) but on the other hand a NRP who is paying cannot easily see their children.

Blackpool_Saver

support payments and contact are two separate issues. If i had my time over I would represent myself at court, I suggest you try that

indesisiv

As people have said before you can do this on your own, you'll be surprised how simple all of the paper work is.
But it remains to be seen how much notice of the contact order your ex takes once you get it.
From my experience once ignored there is very little that the courts do when they are in breech of it.

Good luck, hope it all works out for you.