Non-traditional weddings

Fuzzy_Duck

Faith177 wrote: »

Or just nip over the border

I hope they get made legal soon it's silly for them not to be.

We actually had 2 family members (born again Christians) refuse to come because we weren't having a ceremony in the eyes of God

It is isn't it? Still it sounds like some progress is being made, which is good!

That's awful that you had two family members refuse to come It's so daft how some people can't see past that and realise that atheists are equally entitled to a meaningful ceremony. You'd think they'd find it more offensive if you made vows before a god you didn't believe in :undecided

sheeppappar

that's why my friends had theirs in the borders i think.. couldn't you just do the ceremony as you want it, then nip to the registry office on another day to do the "legal" bit by yourselves? x

Torry_Quine

Faith177 wrote: »

Or just nip over the border

I hope they get made legal soon it's silly for them not to be.

We actually had 2 family members (born again Christians) refuse to come because we weren't having a ceremony in the eyes of God

I would go to a humanist wedding as it's more honest than having a church wedding when you don't actually believe. I think it's good that here they are legally recognised and I believe Ireland are going to as well.

faithless

Fuzzy_Duck wrote: »

Thanks all, so much info on the net is based around traditional weddings we really didn't have a clue where to start! Although we do know exactly what we don't want, so that's something at least

Hi, there's loads of stuff on non-traditional weddings online, have a look at https://www.offbeatbride.com
Some of them are quite alternative, but it's always nice to see something different. It mainly has American weddings so not all of the ceremonies would be possible here - stupid rules about getting married under a roof and in the daytime!

Good luck!

Sazzarella

We fancied a Humanist ceremony but she wanted us to sign up to the Humanist Society and it just felt like we were going from one extreme (Religious) to another (Humanist). We have decided to have the Civil Ceremony with no references to god or religion, cults, society's etc.

www.rocknrollbride.com is another good place to start for non-traditional wedding things.

Fuzzy_Duck

Sazzarella wrote: »

We fancied a Humanist ceremony but she wanted us to sign up to the Humanist Society and it just felt like we were going from one extreme (Religious) to another (Humanist). We have decided to have the Civil Ceremony with no references to god or religion, cults, society's etc.

www.rocknrollbride.com is another good place to start for non-traditional wedding things.

Hmm, that is a bit off putting! I suppose it would be easier to have a civil ceremony anyway as it means we don't have to do the wedding and the legal bit separately then.

Thanks for the links both, I shall check them both out

Faith177

Fuzzy_Duck wrote: »

Hmm, that is a bit off putting! I suppose it would be easier to have a civil ceremony anyway as it means we don't have to do the wedding and the legal bit separately then.

Thanks for the links both, I shall check them both out

It's only £30 to join as a couple and you only have to do it for a year all they do is send you a magazine every 4 months that's it. You can do it all online takes 2 minutes.

No meetings or anything and the minister who we had never really spoke much about the society she was more interested in us. The only contact we have had from her since the wedding was a month after for the final payment.

They really don't bother you at all

ellay864

OP, just to say that if you go for a civil ceremony you can still make it as personal as you like. Apart from the legal declarations you don't have to have any wording that's traditional - we didn't. As I said we had one reading written for us (we didn't hear it til the ceremony) and chose another, we chose our music which included one of DHs own compositions and the vows were written entirely by us. Everybody commented on how personal, moving but also fun it was.
It's a shame humanist ceremonies aren't recognised here and it wouldn't be difficult to have a quick register office for the legal bit then the ceremony you want separately, but it is possible to do it in one civil ceremony but have things your way. You do of course need to speak to the registrar where you'll marry as some are more strict than others - ours were wonderfully relaxed - but it is possible

Fuzzy_Duck

Thanks guys, this has given me a lot to think about! We'll be speaking to both sets of parents this weekend so we'll discuss it then and try to make a decision.

maddeningly

Just do what you want to do, your family will get over it. We've caused murder with my mother in law to be because we're getting married abroad just us and our children and she thinks we're not having a party (we are, she just doesn't know yet as if she has any say it will be for 300 of her 'closest' family and friends). When we first said what we were doing she had the party date planned along with the venue (local rugby ground - never in a million years as I cannot stand rugby!) so we told her we are just having a family meal. Originally she referred to it as a holiday and a party, now she refers to it as 'the w word'!