Real-life MMD: Should I pay fixed contribution for teacher's gift?

serendipity2706

I can't believe this. I was a state school teacher teaching in a area of multiple deprivation, I knew the children and families had little money, so was always really grateful for whatever I received. Usual gifts were small scented candles, and single toiletries- hand cream etc, costing £1 or £2 pounds. Teaching is a vocation, not an opportunity to refurnish your house with John Lewis vouchers!

Sholly

There is no way that I would pay! Aside from the fact that it is an extortionate amount of money, the teacher's attitude would be the nail in the coffin for me - she'd get nothing! It was my son's first year at school this year - one of the parents arranged a collection of £5 per pupil. I was planning on getting the teacher and the teaching assistant a small gift and would've probably spent slightly more than £5 so it made sense to go with the donation. My son also made a card and wrote a nice message to the teacher. I think that is enough. I still can't believe the attitude of the teacher :mad: I totally understand that you want your child to fit in but explain to them that a homemade gift or a box of cholcoates etc would be much more personal and the teacher would appreciate it. Speak to the head or the governors too.

warehouse

Someone has been fooled here. There is no way on earth any school would stipulate this. Absolutely laughable.

Is it April 1st?

stanners5555

I am a teacher and I think this is disgraceful.
Giving gifts should be through choice and not pressure.
I can't believe the teacher also has the gall to state she prefers vouchers to the charity donation either-we are supposed to teach children about helping those less fortunate.
Am I wrong to assume this is a private school?
We are also supposed to teach children about being sensitive and not assume that everyone is made of money.
The greatest gifts I receive are those that are home made- I know they have taken time and not just grabbed something in the supermarket.
It is a job and I don't require a gift but it is always nice to know you are appreciated.
I buy my teaching assistant a gift because I appreciate the extra mile that they go.They are not well paid at all. (In addition to the cleaners etc who also get a gift.) Alas they are not home-made!!
At our school we state that we require no gifts in a letter but suggest in the letter that if the parents want to make a charitable donation in our name they may do so if they wish.

Valli

scotsbob wrote: »

Do you want your kid to get good grades or average grades next year??

Bit of a no brainer really, a bargain at £25 I would say.

What an appalling suggestion! We've now gone from a gift (and £25 per child is, IMO, way over the top) to a bribe!:eek:

bylromarha

Just the other side of the coin...

I would LOVE £400 of gift vouchers for John Lewis - who wouldn't?

But certainly not at the expense of the parents of the kids I teach.

A friend works at a village school in a VERY nice area and this is common place at her school - a parent organises a collection for the teacher every year - think they have a £10 minimum donation per child. School are aware of it, but as the parents organise it, say that there is nothing they can do to stop the practice.

Another friend teaches in a very nice village school - he often gets expensive bottles of wine, £50 gift cards as end of year presents for individual families. He doesn't like it, but it's school tradition as a wealth flash, so he donates what he can to charity by selling some presents on ebay. £50 to them = 50p to me.

Me, I teach in a city school where all walks of life attend. I'm looking at my pile of 14 boxes of chocs, 4 bottles of wine, dying flowers, little trinkets of "best teacher" and a huge pile of cards and know that for some of those families, they spent far too much on a thank you gift, but they did it because they wanted to. So I appreciate every single one - received as it was intended to be. No wealth flashes in our school.

TBagpuss

I find it really hard to believe that the request is coming from the school - are you certain that there is not a crossed wire or miscommunication somewhere? It seems really bizarre for a school to be soliciting gifts for a teacher in any case, let alone stipulating a figure.

I know that a school local to my sister felt that there was a problem with parents getting very competitive and with less well off parents fearing that their children would be disadvantaged if they couldn't compete, so the school brought in and publicised a policy that no teacher could accept a gift over a certain value (I think it was £10) - I know that there were then some parents who had not been aware of the really ridiculous gifts being given then got upset as they thought the school was saying that parents *ought* to be giving £10....

If the teacher or any school official is activelty solicitiing gifts then that is totally inappropriate and I would be raising it as a complaint with the head and if necessary with the governors.

If it is a 'suggestion' from some other parent or child who has taken it upon themselves to set a 'suggested donation' then I would either speak up to say that the figure is inappropriate or would simply decline to participate and arrange for my child to give their own gift - a hand made card and small gift such as chocolates, biscuits, flowers etc.

If the teacher knows that the class is being told to give £25 each this is inappropriate, however, I don;t see any reason why a teacher should not say they would prefer one type of gift to another (e.g. John Lewis vouchers rather than a donation to a charity) if they are asked - after all, a donation to a charity is *not* a gift to the teacher - if you want to donate to support education in a developing country then by all means do so, but don't do it in someone else's name instead of giving them a gift and expect them to be grateful, unless they have specifically requested that any gift you might plan to give them is diverted to charity.

Barbara_Adair

When I was a Primary School Teacher I often got a few presents at Christmas, 1/4 lb. boxes of Milk chocolate, talcum powder, and so on, and only from maybe 10 out of 30 children. I was always touched by the gifts even though I hate milk chocolate. Nobody was made to feel bad if they didn't give, and nothing was expected. How I wish I had taught at that school! Even a pound from each child would have seemed like manna, but I would not have approved of enforcement.

alwayswrite

ARE THESE PEOPLE NOT BEING PAID ALREADY????????..........as far as I'm concerned they are there to do a job and they should do it without using 'emotional blackmail'. I don't care if I am not popular with my opinion the Education Authorities should put a stop to this. I am personally fed up tipping for services and if your opinion is that I am 'jealous' I'm not I'm just annoyed that neither my husband nor myself ever expected to be tipped for the work we did. How dare anyone make a little boy feel so worried about his mother's decision he wanted to use his own pocket money.

pollypenny

I suspect that we've all fallen for a troll with this 'dilemma'.

Loads of teachers, current and retired like me, have posted that we have never heard of such an outrageous idea. :cool: