Real-life MMD: Should I pay fixed contribution for teacher's gift?

emmysmum

In principle the idea of everyone contributing to get something nice is OK, but it should be voluntary and no one should feel obliged to contribute. It certainly shouldn't be for a set amount!
A class gift does eliminate the inevitable deluge of perfumed toiletries!
My favourite end of year gift from a pupil was a picture they had drawn of their cat, and wroteb'i have a cat' under it. The pupil was so proud, and said 'you teached me to write by myself'. (Slight inward cringe at the use of the word reached even now.....), but that gift from an eight year old who couldn't write his name at the start of the year still lives on my fridge :-)
The boxes of chocs and wine etc were a nice gesture though, and I felt pleased that the parents appreciated me going far beyond the call of duty.
I'd be embaressed to have pupils give me so much money. I'd give a card and a box of roses.

smorie

I cant believe the cheek of the teacher,

my daughter bought her teacher something for £5 and did an extra job around the house, me and her dad also bought her a small bunch of flowers too as we have done with each of her teachers so far as way or appreciation from us. we know they get paid a wage but its really nice to see the children excited to give their teachers something it shows the bond they have. the teachers don't expect these gifts and each teacher my daughter has had has always bought a gift for each child too, this yr was a little stationary set which she couldn't wait to get home and use.

** on a slightly separate note iv a few family members and friends in this profession who have been in it for yrs and still get choked up when they receive gifts from the children,

but £25 is absolutely ridiculous and the gift should be what you want to gift whether it be something bought / homemade / cost 50p etc its not for the school to set a minimum, a maximum on the other hand would be more ideal

bogwart

Crazy. Every post I've read says 'no' and I completely agree with that. £25 per pupil is way too much and goes well beyond the bounds of what should be, at most, a token thank you. The teacher's attitude is hardly conducive either. Does she really think this is a part of her income? I suggest, as others have done, that you have a word with some other parents and approach the governors. If necessary I also think HMRC should be notified because you can bet you bottom dollar this is not being declared.

You have to explain to your son that just because the herd wants to go ahead - or is too scared not to - doesn't mean that you should be complicit in this fiddle. I do believe 'fiddle' is not overstating the issue.

lollipopsarah

This is so wrong on all counts - a whip round of say a pound pupil would be a nice idea especially if perhaps a big card was signed by the pupils too.
Anyway don't teachers work for the council in which case you are not allowed to accept certain gifts - correct me if I'm wrong.
I'm not a teacher but do get sometimes receive christmas/end of year gifts for which I am most grateful, but I do not expect anything - for me a thankyou if enough.
Shame on that school.
xx

Talent

I'm guessing that the £25's will go into a pot for all the staff in the school to take a share. What are Heads worth these days, £120k? It beggars belief that they will be scratting around for scrapings....

LastCatastrophe

pennypinchUK wrote: »

With (say) 30 pupils that's £750! You sure you've got the facts right?

That was my reaction at first. Either it's:

• £25 from the whole class for one teacher (sounds more reasonable, but I have never heard of a school asking for money for teachers' gifts - people either give a small gift or nothing, it's up to them)
• £25 from each pupil in the class to go to multiple teachers/assistants who may have dealt with the class (which is already stupid)
• or the person in question has not actually misread and the school are indeed asking from £25 from each pupil in the class for one teacher.

That's mental.

Consult other parents on this one.

gainsboroughgirl

shocked and disgusted. Glad to hear from some decent teachers on here though and I hope you all really mean what you say...I gave presents for which I was never thanked. Absolutely approach the governors! Does the school raise money for a charity? eg education of kids in poor countries etc- maybe you could take the moral higher ground that way/steer other mums in that direction. Also, don't know how old your son is, but if young maybe suggest to him that he make her a card, telling him this means more as she will see how good his writing, colouring in, spelling and handwriting is etc and so it will make her happy. One could try getting him to count the number of things he thinks she did special for him (other than do her job!) - he might see if he's old enough that one should be rewarded on merit. The problem really is pester power here though- even if he can see all this, he will still not want to be the odd one out. So, do some lobbying in the playground- you won't be alone- it probably won't get you and your son /other kids in staff's good books though and you won't be able to prove anything.... It can be claustrophobic, female-dominated, cut off from the real woking world in school and the !!!!!ing about parents happens....is your back broad enough? So, think like a politician and spin it into a positive playground campaign to 'honour' all the staff at the end of the year by making a doantion to charity X in recognition of their wonderful work etc. It will to boot, also do your son some good too. Good luck.

alandbailey

delv wrote: »

As a teacher, I have to say I find that ridiculous. I don't EXPECT any gifts/money at the end of term. A card or a verbal thank you is more than enough. A lot of parents realise that we often do things we aren't actually payed to do. E.g, driving children to and from sports matches, supervising after school clubs e.t.c and a thank you is appreciated. But to expect to be given money by every child in the class is laughable. I feel very sorry for the child in question.

"payed" should be "paid". I am 70 but still remember how to spell. But in the 40s and 50s we were taught properly.:D

oldtrout

Yet another case of MSE making their MMDs up!!!

Hardly a dilemma is it? £25? NO WAY ... Voluntary, ANONYMOUS contributions fine... the child doesn't need to know the amount their parent has contributed.

Total unacceptable!

pdej4

My wife's a teacher and so are many of our friends and other family members.

She works in a village that is generally very upper middle class, but there are also some very deprived families there too. Luckily her head teacher doesn't operate any system like this (although it would be just the type of thing I would expect of him in the future).

I know my wife would say any thank you should be completely individual, and in the past has been from a really meaningful chat with the parents at the end of the year who are obviously very appreciative of her efforts with their children, things that the kids have made themselves (from both the more deprived and better off families), through to wine, nice chocolates, mugs, flowers etc, but those things aren't expected or necessary.

I've never heard of £25 being requested, but I do know that in one of our friends schools the parents got together and decided to give £5 each and rather than all give her a box of chocolates, mugs etc, they did do John Lewis vouchers and a nice bunch of flowers. Although fine in theory, even this seemed excessive to us!

Ultimately it's the American culture (which is true with so many things now, like Halloween etc) that has changed this into a commercialised time in the UK.

Parents need to remember that sometimes just building up a good relationship through the year and saying a meaningful thank you at the end of the year is more than enough and can be more rewarding - I know that can really be the case for my wife as she then really feels she's done a good job and that's the best reward for her. Of course it's lovely to have gifts too, but in honesty from the teachers husbands perspective there's only so many "best teacher" mugs, key rings, or even boxes of chocolates you can have hanging around the house! But I know my wife still has some of the drawings, or class made/individual made cards from her kids stashed away in her files.