Paying to attend a child's birthday party.

Pont

mandragora wrote: »

Oh dear. I agree with Pont - a pile of sandwiches, some iced rings, a play in the garden, and a bit of cake to take home. On a good day, I might even stretch to a glass of wine for any mums and dads who stayed (many did we live in the sticks). They always left happy. Kids, I mean. Parents definitely NEVER left merry!

I'm glad the full stop was there! At first I read your post as, 'Oh dear, I agree with Pont'. As in, do I really have to agree with Pont?! Got me all worried for a mo - phew!

Right back at you with the wine for parents. My daughters never usually had no shows at their parties - think it was more about their parties became party time for the parents too! You should have seen how competitive pin the tail on the Chippendale - I mean donkey (or did I?) - became after a couple of glasses!

Pont

keigcf wrote: »

Have never heard of it around here (Mid Wales):)

Right back at you

saterkey

unfortunately the last one my boy was invited to was a paintball one, when the first text said £30 each, I politely declined, the 2nd text said hed pay for the boy but my partner if he wanted to come would be 30ukp. This was the sort of party I wouldn't allow him to go on his own. so it was no again unfortunately and since then he hasn't had much to do with him at school. I have better things to spend my money on and decided from now on if I wanted to spend on paintballing, go ape or that sort of thing I would pay for our family to do it ourselves and a nice meal out that way we benefit rather than pay for others, if they did want to bring a friend we would pay for them though.
we have just had a teenagers party with 8 girls in the back garden with borrowed gazebo and chairs, drink bought with survey vouchers and a bit of food from Iceland and they had a great time. you don't have to spend much.

fabforty

Spendless wrote: »

Several years ago when I was a new member on MSE a similar thread came up about how they'd been asked to pay for their child to attend a birthday party and how they couldn't afford it.

The replies were all along the lines of how it wasn't the norm and how they wouldn't pay. The OP ended up not going. I came late to the thread and asked how they knew they were expected to pay? they answered that when they'd received the invite they had asked birthday child's parent 'how much is it?' and got the answer 'It's £x'

They had taken that to mean it was £x to attend the child's party as a guest. I spoke to the OP via pm saying that if I'd been asked that by someone I'd invited to my kids party, I'd have thought the person querying was interested in how much the venue charged as they might consider it when their own child had a party. The OP hadn't thought of that, she was going thru a difficult time and it had added to her stress (as did the fact she'd perhaps stopped her child going to a party by misunderstanding what was meant).

It's a long time ago I don't re-call the OP or what the thread was called, probably gone now as the site changed but I mention it cos it stuck in my mind, so the first thing I'll ask is how do you know they are charging guests to attend?

Because it says so on the invites of course, how else?

In the case where the parents have hired the hall, under the address, date, time, it has a line which simply says 'cost: £6 per child' and the parents enclosed a sheet of paper (I thought it was a present list at first!) which explains that the £6 will cover the cost of the booked entertainment including face-painting, balloon artist etc. For the 'tumble tot' type party (it's not tumble tots but I can't recall the real name), the invitation asks for RSVPs and (non-refundable) payment by a given date.

Valli

SunshineButterfly wrote: »

The norm is for the parents of the party to pay for children attending.

My boys (3 and 5) have their birthday party tomorrow. It costs £8.50 per head including food and party bag. For both both 20 children were invited and 18 are attending.

It does work out expensive, but if I didn't want to pay for all the guests then I would not choose to have their party somewhere that charges.

Saying that, I have had 3 parents asking how much they need to bring. I have told them nothing. If they want to buy a card or present for the birthday boys that is fine, but I would not expect any invited to pay.

I have however stated that older siblings (as in way older than my boys) are also welcome if the parent would like to pay for them.

Totally agree.

OP if you go with this NOW it will go on for years.

If it were me I would say, as tactfully as possible, that if a person is invited to attend an event the the person extending the invitation usually pays; so in this case, you'll decline.

And I certainly would NOT pay for my child to attend a party and stump up for a gift.

jellyhead

sulkisu wrote: »

Unfortunately, I have heard of it once before. Parents had to pay for children to attend a party at a pizza restaurant - about £5 per head. I thought I had heard everything then.
I dread to think what's coming next!

My almost 8-year-old had a pizza hut party today. It cost around £7 per child and I paid for everyone, naturally. I wouldn't have invited them if I didn't intend to pay for them :eek:

I've never known anyone charge for a party, but my boys are 7 and 17 so perhaps things have changed in recent years. But if I couldn't afford a party for a toddler then they had a picnic in the park, or at a relative's house (my house is too small). Parties needn't cost much, so if you can't afford to invite people and pay for them you need to rethink your celebration plans, imo.

jellyhead

fabforty wrote: »

Because it says so on the invites of course, how else?

In the case where the parents have hired the hall, under the address, date, time, it has a line which simply says 'cost: £6 per child' and the parents enclosed a sheet of paper (I thought it was a present list at first!) which explains that the £6 will cover the cost of the booked entertainment including face-painting, balloon artist etc. For the 'tumble tot' type party (it's not tumble tots but I can't recall the real name), the invitation asks for RSVPs and (non-refundable) payment by a given date.

Wow, how odd, and very rude! A birthday party implies that you bring a present for the birthday child too ... but these sound more like organised events than parties.

Are the parents/their friends running the businesses providing the entertainment?

Janepig

jellyhead wrote: »

My almost 8-year-old had a pizza hut party today. It cost around £7 per child and I paid for everyone, naturally. I wouldn't have invited them if I didn't intend to pay for them :eek:

I've never known anyone charge for a party, but my boys are 7 and 17 so perhaps things have changed in recent years. But if I couldn't afford a party for a toddler then they had a picnic in the park, or at a relative's house (my house is too small). Parties needn't cost much, so if you can't afford to invite people and pay for them you need to rethink your celebration plans, imo.

That looked like fun, I didn't know they did parties there where you could make pizzas. DD would have loved that but is probably past that now . When's Roo's big day?

Jx

Valli

The easiest one I had was for DS - probably his 10th. I invited everyone to come in clothes which they could get dirty and we took them to the country park (easy walking distance) cue games in the park - OH was despatched to McDonalds to pick up the (pre-ordered) happy meals which we ate on the picnic tables there. No major party bag; they took cake home plus the toy.

rabbitrabbit

Oh my goodness - I cannot believe that people are so rude. I agree that the best parties are the jelly and ice cream ones. Back garden or local park all relaxed. It has got ridiculous enough with all of the entertainment that some people think children need. As for paying for it? I don't think so - I would rather pay for a family day out of my own choosing.