Help....dont know how much is enough

howmuchisenough

Hi,

I am a long time poster here but as my user name is known to my ex, I wanted to stay anonymous.

We have 1 child who is 10. My ex and I split 4.5 years ago and for the 1st 6 months he continued to pay 1/2 the mortgage until we sold the family home. At this point we paid off the mortgage and split the equity 50/50.

After we split he paid £120 a month towards her maintenance for about 8 months then said he could no longer afford to do this and stopped. At this point he said that he would take our child more often to make up for this. He was in a new relationship and took our child approx. 3 nights a week and said that as the child was with him so often that he was paying half the costs and therefore did not need to pay anything more towards our child. Also, I was getting tax credits and in his opinion this was more than enough to cover our child's costs.

Fast forward 2 years - he and the partner have split and I am in a relationship, however as I work and my new partner has a decent job I am no longer entitled to tax credits. However, although my new partner earns around £2k/month he pays over 3/5 of his income to his ex for mortgage, council tax and maintenance. He does this happily and willingly and will never change this. I am also very happy with this arrangement, he pays 1/2 our bills - I pay the other 1/2 - our monies are separate.

I have told my ex that he must start contributing towards our child's upbringing. I have been keeping a diary of how often he has our child and it works out at about 20% of each month. Occasionally he will buy her clothes or give me some money towards a school trip or uniform. If the child is with my ex on a day where there is an activity, my ex will pay the £6 sub for that. Also if the child is with him he will give her a couple £ to do whatever with friends etc.

My ex claims the tax credits now for our child. I was picking our child up from his house and there was a letter from TC saying that he would be entitled to almost £4k and that was from end June so for the full year it would be nearly £5k. I don't know if this is relevant but I wanted to include all the information.

I am in agreement with my ex that it costs the same for my household bills (bar food) whether my child is living there or not. I would still have to pay the rent, electric oil etc. I am a very fair person and have never understood why a man should have to keep his wife after they have split unless he asked her to give up work to have/raise children, which was never the case for us. We always split the bills and paid 1/2 and also split the equity on our house etc etc.

Anyway, as our child gets older it is becoming increasingly more difficult for me to pay everything myself. The child goes to clubs and summer schemes and gets pocket money etc and all these things add up.

My ex has now said that we can get together and agree a figure that he will pay. Taking into account that he claims tax credits for the child but only has the child maybe 2 nights a week, takes the child to school a couple of days a week and picks up from school and keeps for an hour at most a couple of times a week, what do you think would be a fair figure?

I don't want to be a money grabber.....I just want to understand what other people would see as fair.

Thanks for taking the time to read and I'm really grateful for any advice.

fishybusiness

Hi,

I think you have been too fair with him if that is possible. He is claiming the Tax Credits for 2 nights a week, and he is the non resident parent - can he do that? Perhaps someone with more knowledge will be able to help you there.

Have a look at the CSA guidelines for how much your ex should pay you - that is what you should receive, every week without fail, as long as your ex is working.

It does not matter how well off or not you are, your ex should pay the going rate.

BTW, I am a non resident dad, have been a mature student for four years, and still manage to pay maintenance, extra for clubs and do some of the running about from clubs etc, which ups our fuel bill. The way I see it is that maintenance helps increase the living standards of my kids, helps pay for days out, new school clothes, plus I live with the pride of knowing I contribute to their world.

Hopefully you'll get some good advice

mummyroysof3

Not sure but I think him claiming tax credits when he isn't the main carer is wrong and would class you as Nrp so means you should pay him child support. IMO for fairness I would say he should be buying all clothing etc for child and all non food expenses as that's what the money is for

Marisco

I thought (open to correction here) that CTC's can only be claimed by the parent with care who is getting the CB. Could it be that he is getting working TC's in his own right because he's on a low wage?

howmuchisenough

He is definitely claiming CTC although he is on a low income too as he is a mature student. I guess therefore that some of the payment is made up of TC for low income and CTC for our child. I still get the CB and have had no correspondence from anyone regarding the CTC. I can only assume that he put on the application to CTC that she lives with him? I don't know?

shoe*diva79

Who claims the child benefit?

howmuchisenough

I'm also worried about the implications of him claiming the TC. Indeed in their eyes that does make me the NRP even though this is not the case. Could he claim for maintenance against me?

howmuchisenough

shoe*diva79 wrote: »

Who claims the child benefit?

I do.......

Marisco

howmuchisenough wrote: »

He is definitely claiming CTC although he is on a low income too as he is a mature student. I guess therefore that some of the payment is made up of TC for low income and CTC for our child. I still get the CB and have had no correspondence from anyone regarding the CTC. I can only assume that he put on the application to CTC that she lives with him? I don't know?

TBH, I don't know enough about CTC and WTC's to know if this is right, but I would certainly look into it, as so much seems to depend on who gets the CB, and he could be committing fraud without even realising it!

fishybusiness

Resident parent receives Child Benefit, which is correct for you.

If it is CTC, not WTC he is claiming, I really think he should not be claiming, and to be claiming it he must have told HMRC very specific information to be eligible.

The resident parent claims CTC, so something isn't s it should be.

That takes me in to the mature student arena. Student Finance maintenance loan is about £5k per year, not enough to live on as a single person (is your ex single?). However there are top ups if you have children, for example we get about £4k a year in student grants from Student Finance for having a child. Plus, we are allowed Housing Benefit, again because we have a child.

To receive those extra's we needed to give Student Finance various documents, one of those is the proof of Child Tax Credits.

One last thing, I believe the law says a full time student does not have to pay maintenance, worth a thought if your ex is a full time student.

howmuchisenough

Hmmmm you are right fishy (may I call you that? ). I was just looking at the Child Maintenance site and saw that bit about students not having to pay!!

My ex is now single (living alone although he has a girlfriend) and is studying a course that provides him with a bursary. He also works approx. 26 hours a week (enough to allow him to claim TC??)

To be honest I have no interest in getting involved with his getting TC or not.....unless of course they try to take the CB away from me. I will not however lie for him but if they never ask me and the CB continues coming to me then I don't feel its any of my business plus I'm not 100% sure if he's claiming CTC or just TC?

I am not fraudulently claiming for anything....as soon as BF moved in with me I made sure that CTC were aware that my claim had changed.

I just want him to contribute towards the child that both of us wanted to bring into the world!

Looking at the child maintenance site, it would seem that £32 a week would be what he would be expected to pay. I can't see him wanting to pay this much....
Do you think this would be a fair figure to ask him for?