Mighty Titan Overdraft will crumble!

sunnyskies2

I know Hohum, a little like you I can spend loads of little amounts that add to a BIG amount - charity shops, bootfair, super cheap ebay finds - when I started YNAB I cheated a bit by not adding little cashie stash and I closed old bank accounts bringing in a little bonus - but have now spent that - so now living real time ...OH keeps coming home with 'necessary' bits hmmm I don't believe it's all from his 'pocket money' - so his stash must be dwindling fast too lol!

I realise changing spending habits won't happen over night but with Super Hero YNAB :jto help they will change, and I look forward to making 'legit' spending - used phone a couple of times yesterday so will soon get OH using it - won't hold my breath he'll be as efficient as me I am THE administrator here - it's my middle name glad or sorry to say:)

I wonder if YNAB could add a noisy flashing alert when you add an entry under 'frivolous spending' category :rotfl:? - if not maybe just give it or some to folks to look after - it is a journey of learning and they sound supportive? or put it into an account where you can't access it easily - leave bank card with family?

Good luck with a NSD today x

hohum

sunnyskies2 wrote: »

I know Hohum, a little like you I can spend loads of little amounts that add to a BIG amount - charity shops, bootfair, super cheap ebay finds - when I started YNAB I cheated a bit by not adding little cashie stash and I closed old bank accounts bringing in a little bonus - but have now spent that - so now living real time ...OH keeps coming home with 'necessary' bits hmmm I don't believe it's all from his 'pocket money' - so his stash must be dwindling fast too lol!

I realise changing spending habits won't happen over night but with Super Hero YNAB :jto help they will change, and I look forward to making 'legit' spending - used phone a couple of times yesterday so will soon get OH using it - won't hold my breath he'll be as efficient as me I am THE administrator here - it's my middle name glad or sorry to say:)

I wonder if YNAB could add a noisy flashing alert when you add an entry under 'frivolous spending' category :rotfl:? - if not maybe just give it or some to folks to look after - it is a journey of learning and they sound supportive? or put it into an account where you can't access it easily - leave bank card with family?

Good luck with a NSD today x

I nearly managed...then had a business meet and bought coffees (in my head this is spending money as prob won't claim back from business).

The problem with the spending money is not that we WILL spend it...it's more about me trusting that boyfriend will manage his spending. I've checked and he's up for a spending money amount of £120 a month each. However it's only the 11th and we have spent roughly £55 each. I *could* move money from other categories into our spending money category, but I suspect that will simply mean he spends up to £120, then in the last week of the month will 'need' more money and I'll be under pressure to reallocate funds from elsewhere. We could spend the money, it's there and our bills etc are covered. The reason I'm holding on is that I'd rather spend less on spending money.

We had another ... discussion about it this morning. The pattern of our discussions goes like this:

- boyfriend proposes spending money on x
- I ask where money will come from, and express concern that we have already spent £60 each
- this morning boyfriend does not believe me and checks YNAB. He has spent £60
- EVERYTHING in boyfriends world is now going wrong. He is angry with everything including me
- in some kind of insanity I decide now is time to show budget to boyfriend. I really do not want to be the enforcer! But I also don't trust him not to spend. In my head, I'm hoping explaining things will help.
-boyfriend continues to be angry. I am not giving a single fk. We are looking at the budget. He can be stressed or relaxed about it, it's not going to change the fact that I'm looking at the budget with him.
- we talk about future plans for moneys and I explain what I'm doing with putting money aside every month for annual bills.
- we decide to release money for boyfriend's weekly social from car repair surplus
- boyfriend is now less angry. Boyfriend agrees budget is actually OK although he finds it hard saying no to social things.

Rinse and repeat. Yawn. For some reason I am really not upset by boyfriend's sound and fury. It just seems like something he does to himself every time we talk about budgeting. I think he has not quite cottoned on to the fact that it will not stop me talking about budgeting

I am controlling, so I am trying to find more ways to get his input into it. He's a grown man and I would find it hard to have someone say 'you can't spend this money because of my planning'. But he isn't that bothered by it. I ask him 'are you OK with me putting these expenses aside', he says yes although I'm apparently going over the top. Boyfriend apparently thinks money is magic and appears from trees when annual bills come round < see this kind of comment is the sarky internal commentary which is probably not useful when trying to approach equal footing budgeting with other half!

Reframe: boyfriend is more optimistic and confident that things will turn out well, after all he has managed well with no debt on a low income for many years. He says he's bad with money but I'd say he's not as bad as he thinks he is. He just doesn't like admin!

hohum

Ermagerd.. I know I shouldn't count chickens until they are in my bank account, and I know that money will be allocated to spending and not actually pay my overdraft off but...

When I get paid next week that will take my account into positive balance

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!

I swear ynab is like some kind of magic trick. Tada, there's the solution to the problem I've had for 10 years...

liltdiddylilt

Hello!!!

I laughed out loud several times at your most recent couple of posts. Boyfriend is a man. The same as every other man. I have yet to find one of those magic blokes who earns the money, deals with the bills, and the paperwork and leaves me to be the woman of the house cooking and cleaning. Not found one that does those household things either I have to add, or I wouldn't be so depressed with being superwoman all the time. Have to say I am less good at dealing with sound and fury myself. Full of too much sound of my own!!

I am so excited for you. 10 years of overdraft vanishing before your eyes. Next your bank manager will be ringing up to find out whats going on and offering you a loan why do they always do that? - I had a main bank account for years; switched all my bills manually to a new account and left the old one open for the credit history stretching back aeons. I had to stash my savings somewhere whilst I found a decent rate to put them, (yeah all £1600 of 'savings'...) and it sat there for about a month and a half untouched. Next thing I know, I had 2 letters from my local bank manager, a credit card application from them and an offer of a loan! The bank manager wanted to discuss a loan (he rang!) and I asked quite simply why he was offering me money when it was blatantly obvious I didn't need the money I had stored in my old account. He said I was a 'good bet'. How rude!

Keep going with YNAB - eventually you will get to a point where the spending money won't be an issue at all!

hohum

It's funny lilt, I am pretty full of sound and fury myself but for some reason this particular bluster doesn't push my buttons. I lose my temper more easily than he does, but let it go a lot more easily too. He's the 'squash down feelings and don't talk about needs' type.

Boyfriend is also quite useful in terms of contributing housewise. I care more about things being clean than he does, so I tend to do more but I've made my peace with that. he surprises me by doing the washing up. And he cooked tea last night because I felt like I had been steamrollered - not sure what that was all about, feel fine now.

Today was the day....for a brief moment I saw my balance in the positive! I actually took a screen grab of it. Felt pretty emotional even, which when I am going to have go back into overdraft I should probably not get too attached to that positive balance for now.

Feeling like soon might be a good time to get back on the house hunt...the house I like (and that he thinks is too small) is still on the market. I sometimes don't dare check because it will go eventually Also although my income is miles better now, income last year is tiny so worry about even getting the small mortgage we'd need. Have ruled out anything in the over £115k range now.

But house I like is well within budget.. arrg WHY can't I just make him like it! There's one round the corner I can see him going for and I'm thinking it's not as nice a road. Grumble grumble.

But anyway it's great to be seeing this back in my mind as possibility, and
I wouldn't have really started the journey without having the impetus to sort out finances for mortgagability reasons.

Oh and cancelled my (rolling, SIM only) contract today. Going over to giffgaff for now. bit weird because I've been with the same company for years. The final straw was not their slightly less competitive pricing. No, it was them withdrawing free paper billing and forcing me to use their frikkin godawful online account management system. Not user friendly at all and they don't send out the bills by email. The thought of having to log in to that bloody service every month was enough to finally give me the push to cancel!

I do love my iphone though so am thinking what to do when it inevitably gives up. Could start another savings fund for a new handset, and avoid the more expensive contract all together. Will see how it goes as could end up paying a touch more next month with cross over between contract and new set up. Could probably save the tenner a month I think I will be better off to new handset joy as a start I suppose.

hohum

Well wonders will never cease. Boyfriend and I had spontaneous budget discussion last night, prompted by him!

I also could say 'the money's there' when he remembered he needed to pay his union membership. Because when he mentioned it a month ago, I created the category and last paycheque I allocated the money to it.

All bills are covered just waiting for them to come out end of the month. I have allocated some income to next month so half next month's rent is covered.

We haven't been that tight with money - spending money and takeaways (£30 or so) have happened. I have decided I am OK with this and can only imagine how much we were spending on nothing before!

Have paid off my NI debt totally, and just two months of catching up for boyfriend. It's the lowest interest but y'know, tax.

Have switched provider for phone, realised was paying in arrears for line rental so will have another month of double charges but SHOULD still make savings over a year.

Also have a gratifying £300 saved toward our holiday to Spain in October. That will need to cover flights and accommodation, and travel from airport. Then I plan to save another £100/month and that should hopefully cover us.

My overdraft interest this month was £13.78 that's in contrast to the usual £27 odd.

liltdiddylilt

Hello! I did write a reply to your last message ref being out of the red briefly and thinking on mortgages! Yay for the overdraft, but be very careful with the mortgage at the minute. Check out the new changes they have made to mortgage lending rules and unfortunately it isn't looking pretty for most first timers. You have to prove you have the money there, not just for the mortgage, but in case of incidental disasters, boiler breaks (I know it isn't yours to deal with) car breaks down, fraud, etc etc. Also, pre the new rules, they needed 2 years worth of financial accounts minimum but often 3 with first time buyers. There are calculators on how much you may be able to borrow, but set your sights lower than that! Sorry to be a drag, but I work for an IFA myself, and know far too much about this sadly from experience. I am still tied into a mortgage with my ex on a house I have had no claim over for 5 years now. It is messy, in negative equity etc. I happily throw my money at my landlords mortgage now!

Overdraft interest!!! HALVED! How good does that feel?! And no NI debt must be a weight off your shoulders too. You should be proud.

BF initiated budget discussions?! Was he angling for more spending money? hahaha. look at how well YNAB is working for both of you. I am nearly at the end of my first budgeting month and about to buy it. Do I have to buy it in dollars?! How best to do so to get the best exchange rate? Paypal?

Takeaways are good for the soul! You can't be strict all the time

hohum

liltdiddylilt wrote: »

Hello! I did write a reply to your last message ref being out of the red briefly and thinking on mortgages! Yay for the overdraft, but be very careful with the mortgage at the minute. Check out the new changes they have made to mortgage lending rules and unfortunately it isn't looking pretty for most first timers. You have to prove you have the money there, not just for the mortgage, but in case of incidental disasters, boiler breaks (I know it isn't yours to deal with) car breaks down, fraud, etc etc. Also, pre the new rules, they needed 2 years worth of financial accounts minimum but often 3 with first time buyers. There are calculators on how much you may be able to borrow, but set your sights lower than that! Sorry to be a drag, but I work for an IFA myself, and know far too much about this sadly from experience. I am still tied into a mortgage with my ex on a house I have had no claim over for 5 years now. It is messy, in negative equity etc. I happily throw my money at my landlords mortgage now!

Overdraft interest!!! HALVED! How good does that feel?! And no NI debt must be a weight off your shoulders too. You should be proud.

BF initiated budget discussions?! Was he angling for more spending money? hahaha. look at how well YNAB is working for both of you. I am nearly at the end of my first budgeting month and about to buy it. Do I have to buy it in dollars?! How best to do so to get the best exchange rate? Paypal?

Takeaways are good for the soul! You can't be strict all the time

Everybody loves YNAB! If you haven't bought already, you can use a referral code that gives you 10% off. here's mine (which also gives me £3 http://ynab.refr.cc/78XDRFK )

It was looking at the new mortgage rules that really prompted me to start taking the finances in hand I think.

We decided to go with a mortgage broker because self employed plus low income = no lender's favourite. I have my last three years of accounts (tax year ending April 14), but need to get certificate statements from revenue. Boyfriend needs to do his most recent retrun and his dragging his heels. I keep offering to do it for him but he says that would be too much to ask . To be fair, his return is pretty simple. One self employment, not earning enough profit for Class 4 NI, service based not goods...it only takes a day once we actually get on to it.

Once we have that I plan to see what we can get in principle through the broker. I've also recently lowered the amount of gifted money that would go to the deposit because I'm thinking we should reserve £5k of it for exactly what you describe - emergency fund, possible new boiler and those kind of pricy home owner jobs. I have revised my mental upper limit on asking price down so that we would be looking at a 75% loan to value, the loan would be 3 times our joint income. Monthly repayments on this amount with a 5% interest rate would be less than the rent we pay now, the council tax probably about the same.

I am also thinking about what kind of renovations we can take on. This is probably one of the reasons we're a bit stalled. Boyfriend thinks we can do all this because he has an electrician in the family. Boyfriend is not really that handy, I'm usually the one who does the DIY stuff and he does the brute force work We'd have no problems on demolition with him but plastering? Tiling? That would end up being my job.

Anyway I'm not sure he quite gets how much that kind of work costs, so he is looking at larger, rundown properties with the thought we can do them up. I happen to have a few housebuilders and an architect in the family so I feel like I have more of a sense of what it costs. The problem is the properties he is interested in are just right on the 75% loan to value, which would leave us just £5k to do any necessary repairs. Which with the scale of issues some of them have, would not be enough. It is properly ace doing a house viewing with an architect though, is like having a mini survey done!

Did I mention the place I like falls into the right price bracket? :lipsrseal

Anyway, although the new rules are a pain in the bum they freaked me out enough to start actually doing something about overdraft so that's a positive!

liltdiddylilt

When I bought, I had just under a 95% LTV. :eek: - 6 weeks later, the market crashed. We lost 17% of the value overnight. Luckily that can't happen really in the current climate so you're safe there. This new deposit help to buy scheme from the government is creating a bit of an issue so I think that is why lenders are getting so tough! I honestly hope you can do it. I pay the same in rent here as I was on my house mortgage. The difference being that my mortgage was being paid down each month whereas I still ave to give this place back at the end. Something very gratifying about being a homeowner. You need to get BF in the right frame of mind. STARTER House, then move onto the fixer uppers etc when you have the experience etc behind you. Owning is so comically different to renting, it is kind of like moving out of your parents all over again. Something breaks... and you run to your dad!

Having an architect in the family sounds brill. When I lived with ex, he was a kitchen and bathroom fitter. We spent 2 years before I left brushing our teeth over the bath because he took the sink out and wanted to build a vanity unit... but he did it all day at work so didn't want to do it when he got home...

Remember there are 2 years worth of bank statements on your credit history, so if they search you, they will see you coming out of the overdraft over the last/next few months. That is bound to help!

I was coming to drop in and ask you for your referral link tonight, but have discovered an offer til the end of July which doubles the saving I make, and can't be used with a referral. $12 off, would make it approx £26 depending on their exchange rates on there? I'm sorry I feel the need to give you £3!

hohum

liltdiddylilt wrote: »

When I bought, I had just under a 95% LTV. :eek: - 6 weeks later, the market crashed. We lost 17% of the value overnight. Luckily that can't happen really in the current climate so you're safe there. This new deposit help to buy scheme from the government is creating a bit of an issue so I think that is why lenders are getting so tough! I honestly hope you can do it. I pay the same in rent here as I was on my house mortgage. The difference being that my mortgage was being paid down each month whereas I still ave to give this place back at the end. Something very gratifying about being a homeowner. You need to get BF in the right frame of mind. STARTER House, then move onto the fixer uppers etc when you have the experience etc behind you. Owning is so comically different to renting, it is kind of like moving out of your parents all over again. Something breaks... and you run to your dad!

Having an architect in the family sounds brill. When I lived with ex, he was a kitchen and bathroom fitter. We spent 2 years before I left brushing our teeth over the bath because he took the sink out and wanted to build a vanity unit... but he did it all day at work so didn't want to do it when he got home...

Remember there are 2 years worth of bank statements on your credit history, so if they search you, they will see you coming out of the overdraft over the last/next few months. That is bound to help!

I was coming to drop in and ask you for your referral link tonight, but have discovered an offer til the end of July which doubles the saving I make, and can't be used with a referral. $12 off, would make it approx £26 depending on their exchange rates on there? I'm sorry I feel the need to give you £3!

You so totally don't need to give me £3! I only suggested as thought a small saving for you would be nice, and I thought I'd better declare the benefits for me too.

I have been off moonlighting in other forums, so I've been somewhat quiet on here. But a cooler day means I can do inside work without feeling like I should be OUTSIDE.

OW re your first purchase. You sound pretty philosophical about it though? I suppose that is the thing when buying, values can go up as well as down. I must remember that a house is a home as well as an investment. Did you and ex sell (am I right in thinking he lives with parents?).

We once rented from a friend who had bought at the top on an interest only mortgage, then split from partner. She didn't want to sell and didn't have enough to buy him out. A bind, but ended up being a happy ending: her sister bought out her boyfriend and AFAIK still lives there. I think the family all really liked the place - it was lovely - so a win for them. They had done it up beautifully, although frankly I would have spent the money on making it energy efficient as there was no central heating and a lot of single glazed windows. It was the coldest winter I have ever spent, because we refused to run the plug in oil radiators constantly. You could see your breath in the air and frost on the inside of the windows. I spent the winter in fingerless gloves and blankets...but refused to buy a slanket because that was just giving up!

Yes I understand the waiting on DIY jobs very well. There was the day when we got doors in our house build when I was growing up. It was a very momentous time - we had been living in it 2 years! I also used to live with what my aunt, a gardener, called he 'gardener's day off garden'. She always used to think it needed more work but actually it was lovely. It was well designed and planted, just not at the well groomed standards she put to her clients.

Need to get boyfriend to do tax return. I may actually just get him to gather receipts and do myself! Really want to get on with it now. Feel a lot more confident about finances, and stepping back from purchase has definitely improved my standing, at least from the point of view of not being right up to my limit on line of credit. I have realised that even though my debt is relatively small, not being in it all the time should help. Plus I now have three months of really accurate income and expenditure. My Mum was telling me about this great house she'd seen listed, only £60k more than our budget, lol. It does sound awesome but I think we can safely say much more than we can afford. Then she starts saying 'but what about a joint purchase?'. She has got a lot more spendy as she's got older! I think though that maybe it's better to stay within our means. We don't NEED 4 bedrooms!

In finance news we are eking out the end of the month. I have £2 of spending money until 1st Aug and I REALLY want to make it last. Have realised August will be a big earning month for boyfriend but also expensive - lot of travel and accommodation. So thinking about how we will fund that. If needs be I can realloate moneys, but am hoping that we will be able to cover from whatever boyfriend gets paid at end of month. Always ah exciting as we don't know who's going to pay on time. What larks. There is one company he works for that often take 90 DAYS to pay his frickin invoices. 90 days What jokers.

However it's a bit difficult for me to do credit control for my boyfriend without sounding like a total psycho....'Hello I am a random woman who would like to know why you think it's acceptable to pay freelancers 90 days after they've worked for you? No I haven't worked for you. No I don't work for a freelancer. We just need to y'know, pay our rent and that.' We often consider just turning down work for them but if he's free...well money is money even if it takes 90 days to arrive. They are a small company and claim the big payers take their time. To paraphrase a well known saying, your lack of effective credit control procedures should not be my rent emergency...