Explaining to children?

ReadingTim

Is it debt, or just budgeting he needs to learn about? (although misunderstanding one leads to the other...!)

My parents used to give my brother and I pocket money each week for sweets, toys etc. It wasn't a massive amount, and wouldn't buy us everything we wanted. In itself that taught us that if we really wanted something, we'd have to save up to buy it. Occasionally (ie if they could see we couldn't quite afford it there and then), they'd offer to advance us next week's pocket money. They'd obviously them remember the following week (when we'd hope they'd forget!), so the idea of repaying loans was introduced.

In my mid teens (can't remember exactly when) they then said they were switching from giving us weekly pocket money to a larger monthly allowance. However, from that had to come non-school clothes, shoes, entertainment etc - but the thrill of having more money was tempered with a longer budgeting period and more things to budget for. Any further income would therefore have to come from work.

If possible, I'd try this approach before exposing him to the harsh realities of debt management / payment plans - help him understand why he (and you) can't afford everything you want there and then, and how you can work towards acheiving it (and avoiding future debt by living within your means), rather than simply reiterating "no" and "we can't afford it"

hth

cassidy0111

I find TK Maxx quite good for hoodies etc for my nephew. Usually get some in the clearance area too.

Prothet_of_Doom

gayleygoo wrote: »

A tip I've seen on here a few times is to sit down for the chat with a piece of HM cake, it seems to soften the blow! Good luck x

Slice of cake - that's the mortgage
2nd slice of cake - council tax
3rd slice of cake - gas, electric, water and TV licence
4th - Food
5th - Car Costs
6th - Debt repayment
7th - .......oh wait up, nothing but crumbs for ....and then list everything else.....that you can't afford.
or shock tactics NOW.


Just down load the budget planner http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/redir/e5897875

Get him to fill it in, tell him to guess the figures.
Go through his mistakes and see what it looks like then.
Ask him to add all the things he wants..then add all the things you want...and then show him how easy it is to go into the mire.

ideal_knowledge001

Definitly be honest and up front, that doesn't mean things will go downhill or be depressing.

Save when you can and then treat them. I know these days the demands of kids are crazy because of peer pressure and competition in school. I have a little brother that demands a lot so I know :-)

When I was little my dad worked hard, really hard and got into debt by making some wrong decisions in business. I never knew how much he struggled until I grew 23 and he told me bits and bobs, trust me it's important to tell the kids. I feel when they are 12, they are old enough to understand.

Also maybe he can do papers rounds and earn some money. You never value anything until you start earning, I was a high spender until I started working full time.

Goodluck and stay calm and strong.

Scottishmummy

Prothet_of_Doom wrote: »

Slice of cake - that's the mortgage
2nd slice of cake - council tax
3rd slice of cake - gas, electric, water and TV licence
4th - Food
5th - Car Costs
6th - Debt repayment
7th - .......oh wait up, nothing but crumbs for ....and then list everything else.....that you can't afford.
or shock tactics NOW.


Just down load the budget planner http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/redir/e5897875

Get him to fill it in, tell him to guess the figures.
Go through his mistakes and see what it looks like then.
Ask him to add all the things he wants..then add all the things you want...and then show him how easy it is to go into the mire.

Both brilliant ideas, thanks :T

Scottishmummy

Going to sit him down tomorrow afternoon and go over it again with him. Will update you then with how it went.

chevalier

Good luck. I think the cake idea is brilliant. At least you can eat it afterwards....

FBaby

Have you actually explained to him why you are struggling at the moment and that you now to make sacrifice to enjoy your home. What you want to avoid is him growing resentful and blaming you for the situation (and how it affects HIM). If you were to explain in details how you ended up in debts, what you are doing to sort it out asap, let him know the timescale and what you will be able to enjoy when it is all paid, and what you and he can do in the meantime to compromise and try to get what really matters to him, hopefully he would understand and accept the situation better?

Bublin1

Have you tried ebay for clothes. There are lots of people selling 2nd hand designer clothes and most are good quality. Your son won't know the difference and they would be a fraction of the cost if you bought them brand new.

I now buy the majority of my children's clothes from there. Recent purchase for my 11 year old son was a brand new pair of G Star Raw jeans for 99p and a barely worn pair of Guess jeans for £2.10!!!!

pineapple123

Agree try Ebay or car boot for second hand clothing, my DS has grown so fast in the last few years that alot of his clothing has been sold in my yearly car boot sale usually for just a pound or a few pounds not all of it was new in the begining some acquired at other boot sales or January sales final reductions etc and most are still in v good condition and still in fashion, well I think so anyway. My DS also likes the skate style hoodies and trainers and have picked up several 'vans' trainers etc for £2-£3 at boot sales but get there early.